I’d rather be dead.

[despairingandunhappy]

I hate DP.
I have never known a man so financially abusive in my life. He blames me for us having no money yet leaves me with £11 a month to live off after bills are paid. We’re 4 days before payday there is no food in my house and 10p in my bank. And all I have is him moaning about it, “he’d be better off in prison”
I’ve got fuck all. I’m glad we’re on lockdown cos it gives me an excuse to not go out. I don’t want my friends sending me pics of clothes they’re buying or holidays so I’ve come off social media. I need this off my chest because I’m about to explode.

I’d rather be fucking dead.

[Zoflorabore]

Op once you’re moved to an hostel you will be a million times better off- financially and emotionally.

Once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

A man like this doesn’t deserve you and your child. Get important stuff together and take the chance to start a new life. You can do this.

You say your family can’t help but do they know the full story?

[despairingandunhappy]

My mums a heroin addict

[despairingandunhappy]

Dads been dead for 6 years and I don’t know half of my family. My mum can’t help as she’s in rehab.

[LilyMumsnet]

Hello everyone

We've had reports from people concerned about this thread so, as we usually do in these circs, we're putting our heads round the door with some important reminders.

Right now we can't see any evidence to indicate that the OP isn't above board – if we did, we'd remove the thread straight away. But the truth is that, sadly, we at MNHQ can't know with 100% certainty that any poster is genuine, no matter who they are or how long they have been here. As frustrating as it is, we're not able to vouch for anyone here.

So we always ask users to remember that not everyone on the internet is who they say they are – and remind folk not to give more to another poster, either financially (in cash or gifts) or emotionally (in time or care and support) than they'd be prepared to lose if things went wrong. We strongly advise against parting with any cash or giving away your personal details, and if you receive a PM which makes you uneasy - report it to us and we’ll take a look.

Sorry to hijack your thread briefly there, OP – we really hope you are okay and get the support you need. In the meantime, you might find some useful information on our guide for dealing with financial difficulty

We're also going to add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

For more information, you can speak to women's aid. We'd really recommend this, OP.

[despairingandunhappy]

I’ve had a shit childhood. I was at uni when I met “D”P making a good future for myself. Now I’m in a worse mess than I’ve ever been. I don’t wanna go on anymore and I’m only here for my baby.

[Closetbeanmuncher]

The priority is getting out of there...when do you find out about the refuge?

How long has this been going on for OP?

[despairingandunhappy]

They’re gonna let me know before 9:30 tonight. Fingers and toes crossed. It’s been going on since last March

[Winter2020]

Hi OP
Take a look for your local “Covid Mutual Aid” group.
covidmutualaid.org/
PM the group admin. I think they will be well placed to help you with food/urgent supplies. In our group the group admin will ask for donations when needed (anonymously).
Our local group works with the police and other services so they may even be well placed to help you leave and find new accommodation.
Ask them for help.

[Closetbeanmuncher]

It's never too late to start again OP, but you won't be able to with this leech financially draining you. Has he ever been physically abusive towards you?

[Closetbeanmuncher]

They’re gonna let me know before 9:30 tonight

I really do hope they come through for you and your little one 🙏

[krankykittykat]

You and your child deserve so much better and he shouldn't be taking 500 off you especially as part of that is the child element.
Please keep us updated

[HolyForkinShirt]

This is heartbreaking.


I have no advice except what PP have mentioned. Particularly about getting cash back at supermarket to build up an escape fund.

Please get help, tell a friend in RL. Wishing you all the best.

[Prettybubblesintheair]

I’m so sorry op, I really hope this gets sorted.

[despairingandunhappy]

Yes physically abusive. And mentally. Constantly threatens me tells me he wishes I was dead. All of it.

[custardbear]

You just need to
Get away from
This creature -
Don't give
Him any more money. Get half the assets in the house and get out after you've found aid somewhere
Good luck

[whereorwhere]

Oh god that's awful OP - you need to get out

[despairingandunhappy]

He takes the money for the shopping so I can’t use the cashback option as I don’t see the receipts.

[toothfairy73]

I really hope there is space in the refuge. Good luck OP. Don't give up. You deserve so much better than this. Your new life is just around the corner. Hang on.

[despairingandunhappy]

I’m hoping so too. Thank you everyone

[despairingandunhappy]

I’m just excited to go to sleep not worrying or feeling stressed and hungry

[ClamDango]

Dont think you have nothing. You have a baby, you have friends, you have us. You dont need him in your life anymore. You deserve much better and so does your gorgeous baby. I really hope the refuge can help you sort everything out. The only way is up from now on. Try and let us know if you want to.

[despairingandunhappy]

I know I have my baby and I thank god every day. I will update as and when I know, I’m hoping it’s tonight

[despairingandunhappy]

No space at the inn for me tonight. They’re phoning again in the morning

[ClamDango]

Good luck for tomorrow. Are you and baby safe and had something to eat.

[Sunrise234]

How long have you been with him? And how long has he been acting like this?