I’ve just upset my mum, am I wrong?

[Alwaysupsettingsomeone]

So I’ve just been speaking to my neighbours, telling them about a difficult situation I’m in. They were just interested and I’m not embarrassed talking about it.

I’ve come into my mums house next door and she has said what are you telling them about your problems, you shouldn’t let people know your business.

My mum is the sort of person who tells know one nothing, she has no friends. I said I don’t have have a problem talking to people. She said as long as you are happy with them knowing everything about you (I haven’t told them everything) I said that I am happy otherwise I wouldn’t have spoken to them. I told her I’m not like her, I don’t sit on my own in my house by myself all day complaining about everyone in the street. I talk to people and my neighbours, your never know sometimes people can help you or visa versa.

Was I rude? I’m annoyed as she made me feel like I’d done something wrong and now she isnt speaking to me. I’m 35 by the way.

Yeah sorry about the drip feeds, I was annoyed, then annoyed with myself for getting angry at my mum.

Sounds like you need to be pouring everything you have got into getting out of there.

@Alwaysupsettingsomeone

Yeah sorry about the drip feeds, I was annoyed, then annoyed with myself for getting angry at my mum.

What's your game plan for moving out, OP? Is it something you're aiming for in the near future?

Huge kudos for removing yourself from the situation with your DP, by the way; that takes a lot of guts.

I need to to see a solicitor. I tried to live in the house with him after telling him I wanted to separate but he made my life hell so I had to leave. He won’t enter into a discussion about the house and living arrangements now, he is pissed off with me for leaving. I don’t want to stay here for too long. I find it hard because me and my mum are very different people.

Perhaps he should come and move in with my mum and I go back home!

OP the thing is I think you are mistaking her not giving a shit about your needs as her not understanding. She would understand fine. But she would only care about how it impacted her life

Nah, I suspect her mum genuinely can't understand. My ex was like this. I genuinely believe he was incapable of understanding anyone's feelings, lives or thoughts other than his own. Like OPs mum, this was destructive in his own life as well as to others around him.

OP, I suspect you already know you can never get through to your mum. It's a really painful place to be, in a relationship of any sort with someone like this.

@Alwaysupsettingsomeone

I need to to see a solicitor. I tried to live in the house with him after telling him I wanted to separate but he made my life hell so I had to leave. He won’t enter into a discussion about the house and living arrangements now, he is pissed off with me for leaving. I don’t want to stay here for too long. I find it hard because me and my mum are very different people.

Absolutely, get yourself a decent solicitor. And remember - none of this is you.

If you feel up to it, you should check out the Stately Homes thread here; it's for people who've got horrible relationships with their parents, and unpicking the reasons why.

Hope you got some advise of a solicitor. Of not get sorted now tonight to head into town tomorrow with a list of solicitors. Someone will fit you in and you will know exactly where you stand. The start of a plan!