Do I need to stop speaking to him? (Talk some sense into me )

[harryberry44]

I was seeing a guy and he didn't want to commit so I ended it as it was going nowhere fast.
There were times it felt like it was then he ran away.
Anyway a month later we began texting again.
He has been lovely these last two months.
Chatting on phone.
Texting all the time,told me I looked nice on Saturday on a night out.
He's been supportive with my mum in hospital.
He is currently on holiday.
He text me earlier saying he's son has told him it's time he settled down.
He says so now he's going on a double date on Friday night.
I reply "oh well I'm sure you will have a good time"
He replied "no I won't"
Why tell me.
He knows I have feelings
He would never class us as "dating"
Now he's telling me he's going on a double date.
It makes me feel like shit
Like I'm not good enough etc
Part of me feels like just saying
Look I still have feelings with you
I don't want to know who your dating
Stop texting and phoning me.
I need to stop
He's hurting me.

@Lobelia123 he does.
I only told him 10 days ago.

Op, let's be honest.
He doesnt like you.
He doesnt want to be with you.
Hes actively dating other women.
Hes fucking with you.

Why on earth would you block if this date is real?

You've had 99% block answers to your thread, apart from one who suggests you should tell him why (wrong IMO, you would just be holding onto hope)

If he liked you that much he wouldn't give you a single chance to not be with him. Men are like that. They don't give away what they really want.

Do yourself, your respect and self esteem some favours and block him right now

And never engage again. You'll be surprised how you'll move on, give him exactly what he deserves.
Not a second more of your time.

Block

This is an emotional abuse tactic known as "triangulation".

You deserve better. Please don't let anyone make you think you're not worthy of basic human decency. This man is just cruel!

Agree with PP regarding triangulation.
He is getting some kind of sick sadistic thrill from your upset.
Is that OK with you?

All the time you are spending agonising over this twisted sicko you could be spending on yourself.
Start to look after and care about yourself, there are a million you tubes on the subject.
You don't need to play this sick game with him.

My god. Block him!!

Op don't embarrass yourself for this man! He sounds grim.

Delete and block. I know it feels really final but this man is toxic for your self esteem.

After you have deleted and blocked maybe put some time into considering why you want a man who is giving you less than nothing.

Block that prick. He’s using you for his ego. What an absolute arse

He is definitely testing how you'd react and woohoo for your reply. He probably wasn't expecting that!! He is 100% playing mind games and chances are there was no double date to begin with. Block this loser.

Tough love alert as I think it's necessary here...

He knows full well that despite him messing you about and being nasty eg telling you about the double date, if he messaged and said "I've realised I want to try being together can you come over?" that you would jump in the car, go and have sex with him. He's that type. And be honest - you would probably do that wouldn't you? Because for whatever reason, you aren't acting logically when it comes to him.

He's lined you up to be his back up girl and to want to 'win' him when he is no fucking prize.

You aren't YOU to him. You're entertainment when he's bored and wants to message someone he knows will reply, you're reassurance to him that he has someone he believes is a guaranteed shag etc. You exist to be what he wants when he wants.

PIease try and see how fucking GROSS all that makes him! He's nothing special, he's a dick and he's playing you like a fiddle.

STOP LETTING HIM.

Block him today.

This is going to sound super harsh too but a friend said it to me when I was in your situation years ago - he won't even give a shit! He'll either get on tinder and find another back up girl or speak to one he's already got lined up.

Please stop trying to make him part of your life x

Sorry OP. There was a similar thread here recently.

He’s made it clear that he’s not interested in you. As others have said you need to cut off all contact. By continuing talking to him all you are doing is reinforcing that he doesn’t like you. I know he’s being slated on here, but you also need to take some responsibility. Most of the posters are telling you to block but you seem to be ignoring and still asking why he’s treating you badly. Let’s be honest, you are not in a relationship with him, so he is free to date who he likes. You can’t be friends, as you obviously want more, so it’s time to cut all contact

By telling him how you feel about him, you are just giving him ammunition to play with your feelings. You can’t force him to feel the same way. It’s not his fault that he doesn’t feel the same about you, but he is at fault for not cutting contact with you.

OP. I mean this is the nicest possible way, but this ‘friendship’ sounds unhealthy. You need to ask yourself why you don’t deserve more. A therapist may be able to give you more coping strategies to deal with your feelings.

@harryberry44

I've been acting stupid recently. Putting more pics than usual on social media,went out on Saturday,posted pics having a good time. Trying to show him that I'm not moping over him. It just keeps going round in my head. Just when I think he's being a decent guy he does something shitty again. I have to be done. It's hard to block him I won't lie. I want him so much (pathetic as it sounds )

Then you're your own worst enemy, not him (though he's a complete arse too).

You are choosing not to end it; you are complicit. Grow up and start taking responsibility for your life, and watch things change as a result.

Is he younger than you?

I wouldn't bother responding to any more of his msgs, he is playing games and stringing you along!

No he doesn’t deserve an explanation. Don’t give him any more of your time. His being cruel to you and he will carry on for as long as you let him. Block him and delete his number because he will try and text you once his realises you’ve stopped falling for his shit

OP, I feel for you.
You are 35 and still thinking this little pricks treatment of you is ok.

If you are seeking out this type of guy you are wasting your time.

This type of twat is never going to give you what you want.

Kindness and decency should always be in the character of a man who you might want to share your life with.

Anything else fxxkwittery that will leave you sad and empty.

Block him and start really focusing on how you are going to up your standards.

You absolutely deserve to be treated well and with respect.

You have to believe this, for it to happen

@harryberry44

Obviously the thing that's going round and round in my head is
Why is she good enough to go on a date with and I wasn't ?
Seriously- don't play his silly game. You don't want someone like this make you do the Pick-Me dance.

He just makes me feel shit
Stupidly thought when he text about settling down ..he was going to ask me out.
Then ..tells me about his date.
You hurt his pride when you cut him loose before. Now he's letting you know what you could have had. Wish him well.

Then block and delete.

Block and in your head just act as if he has died a d you will never see him again. If you kill something point blank it's amazing how quickly you can move on. There's nothing worse than drip drip half in half out, waiting and hoping. Don't do it. Be decisive, take control and block forever. You will meet someone else much quicker if you're not still tied in to this guy.

I ended up having to block him.
He text me again this afternoon.
Random holiday pics then added
"I've now got 3 dates this week"
"Don't worry not with the girl you hate"
I thought enough is enough
Your taking the mick
He's an arsehole
I said "before you go on your dates,do me a favour and delete my number,I ain't interested in speaking with you anymore ..have a lovely date"

It's called narcissistic triangulation. It is meant to make you feel like you arebt good enough. It is a horrible thing that horrible people do.

You've had a lucky escape. Keep him blocked. He wants to hurt you to make himself feel good. Who does that shit? Narcissists and general bullies. Sod having ppl like that around you.

@harryberry44

I'm sorry, he sounds awful. And you only told him how you felt about him recently.

He has three dates, but none with the girl you hate? What are you supposed to say to that ? Is that because she doesn't go out with bastards?

I bet you feel sick and awful , but he's not a good persons he's an arsehole and you are doing the right thing.

Walk away and turn your thoughts to you and your life. He will love the attention of you blocking him ( oh the drama, she must have feelings for me) but it won't last long, he may try to contact you again. Don't let him , keep ignoring, keep blocking.

Well done OP! Lucky escape for you I reckon. Onwards and upwards.

Walk away and turn your thoughts to you and your life. He will love the attention of you blocking him ( oh the drama, she must have feelings for me) but it won't last long, he may try to contact you again. Don't let him , keep ignoring, keep blocking.
But no more actual words- just keep blocking and erase him from your life.

I'm deffo not unblocking.
One of the "dates" apparently can't wait for the sex when they meet.
He's a looser.
I do deserve better.
Crack on mate ..I hope you catch chlamydia

Well done! finally he's gone far enough for you to do it. Do not unblock. Don't let him back in. He's toxic to you.

Finally 🙄