Omegle - what is it?

[Technoincompetent]

Hi
I’ve been a Mumsnet member for over 10 years so probably know how this is going to go. I’ve been with my partner for many years and we’re engaged. He has a bad history of cheating on his ex in the past but I’ve never had any reason to doubt him in our relationship until now.

I recently asked him to move out to give me some space as he can be what most of you would term as emotionally abusive, overbearing and verbally aggressive. He’s also drinks far too much every day. I love him and thought perhaps it would give him the chance to determine whether he wants in life any whether he wants to change.

I’ve never really had any reason to doubt his loyalty, as he’s always been so “in” to me. Anyway, judge me if you want and I’m fine with that, but in all the time we’ve been together I’ve never had any reason to check up on him. Today, I don’t even know why, I went on his mainly unused laptop and looked as his search history and he’s googled Omegle three times in the past two months. I can’t see anything else apart from the google search and that he visited the site (no other pages on the site come up apart from the main page). But he could be accessing it from his phone....I wouldn’t know as I never check).

Honestly - and I can take the news, what is this site and how does it work? I’ve read around it, but I can’t see how it actually works or why someone would repeatedly google it. I’m sitting here shaking as I think my heart is going to break.

I would focus less on Omegle and more on the fact that he is an abuser?

Forgive me, you sound so insecure and lacking in confidence.

Get rid of him, do the Freedom Programme, get counselling and find your self esteem.

Please believe us when we say you deserve way better than this horrid excuse of a man.

I think you should end the relationship on the basis of him being an abusive drunk tbh. Why do you need him to be cheating too before you'll end it?
It is totally a sex thing brw

Thank you everyone - honestly I am listening to every word you say x

Don't trust him going on there.
Why does he need to chat to random people?
A lot of kids on there, it's for Pervy men and kids

Omegle is the least of your problems, he's an abuser, please get rid

You describe him as abusive amongst other things. That word alone is enough to leave him. You are looking for other reasons but you just need to consider you deserve to be treated better.

I didn’t confront him about it in the end.
I asked him for some space as I couldn’t find the words to say what I wanted to say to him. He called me this morning repeatedly, so I took the call in the end and I’ve ended it. He wants to know what’s happened, but there was enough poor behaviour anyway without raising this (as many of you have rightly said). I could have made 100 threads about things that he’s said and done over the years, but I’d be too embarrassed to. This was the final straw for me.

I just feel so sad and broken.

Thank you to everyone who replied to my thread. When my determination waivered, I kept coming back and reading your messages. It helped so much to know that there are people who care and understand out there and who haven’t judged me.

That's really strong of you, OP. It's such a hard leap to make, but seeing that he acted that way, its for the best and it will make you happier in the long run (I'm sure you already know that, but it's still never easy). I'm really glad you had self respect, it's admirable. Good luck for the future

I'm sorry to see you sad, OP, and that's an understandable feeling to have. But I hope that it will be replaced with confidence and recognition of your courage in doing what is right for you. Plus making room for a better future. My very wise mum once said something to me about a bad relationship, and it has stuck with me. She pointed out that it wasn't my responsibility to fix it, and that I didn't have to present my justification for ending it as though I was on trial. Have faith in your judgement and your choices.

Hope you're OK op x

Hey OP, how are you doing? 🙏🏼 Xxx

Please end it, you dont want years and years of being on edge and doubting him, waste of time, your time and your life.

Sorry. See that you have ended it now, be strong you deserve a better man

Thank you for asking. Not doing too well tbh.

The break up took longer than it should have. He made loads of promises about not going back on the site, but actually (as expected!) you were all completely right - there was too much wrong with the relationship anyway to keep it going and so I’ve finished it.

I broken up with him as his drinking is never going to resolve itself and am now feeling a little overwhelmed at the prospect of being single again at the age of 47. He was constantly critical of me, even though I know in my head his criticism wasn’t justified about many aspects of my personality and life. The constant put downs were completely draining. I think he thought he was being funny or clever and using it as a way to keep me on the back foot.

I read a thread on here recently about someone whose partner is doing the same and she said that she felt that the comments were “snide”. I can’t explain it, but reading that was like a lightbulb going off in my head. That’s exactly how it’s felt for so long now, and that’s not how you talk to someone you profess to love.

Just trying to get my head around how I pick myself up and get back into everything full swing. I’m going on holiday next week for a few days with my youngest children so am going to focus on that, and decorating the house. Then I’m back to work in September so need to keep my priorities straight.

I have a very blessed life so I know my problems are nothing compared to what others go through daily. I guess I feel sad for what could have been. But you can’t change people, I know that.

He admitted about the website but said he just went in there to chat with people and that it was nothing sexual. I’ve been on mumsnet for too many years now to not know the script when I hear it!

I’m sure he’s blaming me for all of this. That’s fine. I just need to keep strong, both for me and my family.

Thank you to everyone who helped me.