DH buying flowers for another

[Msonamission]

DH occassionally buys flowers for his PT. You know, like, to thank her for a session, on her birthday, and when she experienced some trauma. He's known her a few years, but I don't know her at all. While it's nice, yeah, for her, to receive flowers, I kind of feel that it makes me not special, being his wife. Am I being princessy by feeling this way? Also, I can't recall him buying flowers for any other women other than his relatives and for me, so now I'm wondering if he's attracted to her.
Please, please can you tell me if I'm over-reacting or not? I've been married so long (25 years) I can't tell what is ok and what is not anymore .

This is suspicious in my opinion.

I see flowers much the same as chocolates or wine. I don’t have a PT, but have given my hairdresser flowers several times. I also brought a load of cakes to the dentist after having a period of being back and forth there.

So as shes a personal trainer I’m assuming they have quite hands on work outs etc. He’s buying flowers for her quite often which to me is weird, if I was PT I’d rather a tip if I’m honest... flowers are often a romantic gesture. If I was you I’d tell him you’re not happy with how close they are and buying flowers for another woman (outside of family) is suspicious. Maybe once you could get away with, you know something like a death in the family etc but to do it after a session is just absurd. You’re his wife, if he’s thanking her for a PAID gym session you should be getting something very extravagant.

He is quite a giving person naturally, yeah.

Well no, he isn't. He doesn't buy YOU flowers, does he? I bet she's young, and he has a crush. Suggest he gives her a tip instead. I'm sure she'd appreciate that more. His response will tell you all you need to know.

Also I bet the traumatic even is something like her husband/partner cheated or similar. He’s playing into the damsel in distress quite well isn’t he

@pomdownunder1 Ah yes of course, thank you!

I’m not sure I’d feel happy about this if I were you OP.
My DP is a professional sports coach who teaches very gifted children. He’s had many a random present over the years from some of the mum’s who have taken a shine to him which he finds incredibly awkward. A present from the child at Christmas and maybe his birthday I understand but when one of the parents start leaving cupcakes on his desk, bringing him fancy Starbucks drinks or leaving him other random gifts after training sessions it’s a little bit odd.

Flowers are loaded with meaning (usually but not always, I get that) and this screams inappropriate crush.

I'd feel odd about it too, OP, but only you know if this type of thing is in his nature. Have you mentioned how you feel about it?

Nope this is a romantic gesture. He's making a fool of himself or their having an affair, probably both. Either way it's bad for you. I'd be livid

I can't imagine getting a personal trainer
biscuits but flowers strikes me as a bit odd too.

It's weird and inappropriate to buy her flowers and devices. You buy flowers for people like your partner or your Mum, not your personal trainer.

Who the fuck buys their gym instructor flowers?!

Yes. Precisely

I am pretty ancient so maybe old- fashioned but I really wouldn’t be happy with this .
My DH knows I love fresh flowers and buys me some most weeks . He also buys his DD and my DD flowers on birthdays and other special occasions which is fine but I would think it odd if he bought them for someone he was paying for a service .

Maybe the PT has given your Husband a new body and lots of confidence, so he feels good, and want's to thank this person. He won't buy her any chocolate obviously ! It wouldn't bother me, as men should be able to do nice things for others.without any suspicions at all.

I'm laughing at the suggestion he give her biscuits. Probably not the best present for a personal trainer but subtle sabotage
OP I'd find it odd if my DH gave his PT flowers ... but I think Dave (his PT) would be quite bemused too. And, that's the point. If you wouldn't give it to a male trainer, then don't do it.

Look,at is as a tip. You tip hairdressers who provide a service, you tip waiters who provide a service, he buys a bunch of flowers for his pt

I wouldn’t get cross about it

Hmmmmm I wouldn't be happy. Maybe he's hiding something in plain sight

I used to do a job where it was vaguely normal to buy me presents. I'd get mugs, huge amounts of tea-related stuff, food, business card holder once, coffee and chocolate often, scarf once, art occasionally.

Only flowers as a group present, presented in a group setting. I'd find it awkward if I was her. She either does and he's creepy or doesn't and it's worrisome.

Does he regularly buy you flowers?

He buys gifts for his personal trainer? That's really weird, like pp said, he's already paying her to do her job... Whats the point of the Flowers? Innocently - flowers might suggest a thank you for going over and above her job. But what could she possibly be doing to go over and above as a pt?

Does he tell you he's bought her flowers? How do you find out?

Have it out with him, tell him it's inappropriate and makes you uncomfortable. Ask him if there's something he needs to tell you.

is he always on his phone?

Sounds very fishy Op.

"flowers are often a romantic gesture."

They're just as often not. If you go for dinner you bring flowers for the lady of the house, if a colleague is leaving you might buy her flowers.

@Gwenhwyfar he's not going for dinner at someone's house. He's arsing about at the park ogling some lycra clad woman probably decades younger than himself under the guise of 'personal training'