Secret planning to leave DH - days to go .

[Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme]

Hi there - previous thread started with DH AWOL , arrested for drink driving . Final straw for me in out marriage , planning to leave in secret on Thursday. 6 days to go . Feeling shit about everything - pain the kids will have to go through , pain and upset his family and him . Wishing he was a reasonable person enough that we could separate amicably. Wishing I could predict which way this is going to go- hating the double life I am currently leading . started this thread just for the hand holding whilst the proverbial hits the fan over the next 7 days !

Congratulations. Well done you have done amazingly. Xx

Well done! Hope you all (you, DC and ddog) slept amazingly well last night. x

Congratulations in your new home! Here is to the rest of your happy life! Enjoy

Well done - you are amazing. I wish you lots of happiness in your new home XX

I'm so pleased to read that you made it away. Congratulations

Well done!

I'm so pleased it all went well op! I wish you all the happiness and peace in your new home, and a happy start to a new future

Congrats op!! Delighted to hear your update!!

@mintyt

Classics? This is someones life, not a feelgood movie. How inappropriate.

I also asked for Classics. Op is proof and an inspiration to others

Yes yes yes you are free thrilled this has made my year so happy for you lots of love 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐🤗💯🥰

Thank Christ. Well done OP.
We are all proud of you. You are an inspiration and a legend.
Take care of you and your children.
Best wishes

Yipeee!

So glad to hear you’re out and safe.

Keep coming to read more of OP updates!

I'm so happy for you.

I actually woke up this morning and thought of you!

I don't know you but I'm sooo happy for you!!

OP, you and I are complete strangers, but I am so proud of you.
You have done the right thing for you and your kids.
Don't look back and enjoy your freedom.

I'm really emotionally reading today's posts: women supporting women, MN at it's core and at it's very, very best.

I'm delighted to read your update! Well done you, and 💐for your sisters and friends💐

Followed both your threads OP and I am so happy for you

Thank goodness you are ok. Going to read the rest now.

Oh well done OP. Been thinking about you today. Enjoy your new life.

@Happynow001

Phew! Well done *@Mydoghasbettereyebrowsthanme*!! And well done to your sisters and friends too. You must have been on tenterhooks all day. And well done for just sitting back in your new living room with a glass of wine and de-stressing for a little while.

Jobs to do (sorry) if not already done:

• Change the passwords on any bank accounts of yours even if you don't think he knows them - just in case. You never know..
• change the passwords on any accounts you had at your old home (eg Netflix)
• remove your name from any utility bills you were responsible for including internet
• let the Council know your new address and claim your 25% single occupier discount. You can do that online.
• let your bank know your new details as well as your HR and Payroll departments at work
• if your husband is named as someone financially benefiting from you at work (eg death in service) remove him (maybe name your children instead?)
• go online and do a change of address request for your mail. (Takes 5 working days to take effect)

www.royalmail.com/start-your-redirection

• switch off Location on your mobile and your children's phones.

Treat yourself gently for a while OP you've been living on adrenaline for quite a while so your energy may slump for a bit so continue to accept help where offered and hug your kids.

Here's to a better life from here onwards. 🌹🍷🌈

I'll add do not put money in a joint account that he has access to to pay any bills that still need paying. He can just as quickly take the money out and the bill remains unpaid. You can get your bank to freeze any joint account I believe.

The power of anonymity, the internet, women, jesus i couldn't love this thread anymore!
OP, well bloody done you, best decision and bloody good on you for having a bit about you to do it, you rock!!!! It's giving us all so much to think about when in similar relationships (me for one!).
Love all the comments, just in awe of it all, bravo everyone, OP and all your family and friends for supporting! X

So pleased to read your update - congratulations

Definitely freeze all joint bank accounts it prevents him going overdrawn and running up joint debt which will affect your credit rating and you will be jointly liable for.

Call everywhere that you have joint finances with and freeze the accounts. Follow phone calls up with emails to prove you’ve asked for the accounts to be frozen in case they mess up and don’t freeze the accounts.