friend's (vicar) husband posting racist bilge

[user1493039269]

Long story.

A friend married an awful man (vicar). One of the reasons for his awfulness is the absolute disdain he feels for other people (including people going to his church). The way he used to talk about the (majority black) people in his old church made me really uncomfortable but I thought it was down to the fact he felt superior to just about everyone. I have actually considered reporting him to the Church of England several times for his online comments about parishioners/people in his community (always vulnerable ones) as from what I can see his activity does contravene their policy. He also has a photo of him in his dog collar and his online handle reflects the nature of his work so in no way is he posting as a private individual. However, I have always come back to the fact that if anything came of my complaint it would destroy my relationship with his wife - even if I haven't see her for ages - and it might hurt their kids, which I would not want.

Cue BLM and his FB and Twitter posts make it clear he is actually just racist. There is some pretty offensive stuff, but maybe possibly things that he could squirmingly argue are not racist because they are pretty coded (although tbf people had called him out on it). However, there was one Twitter post that was unequivocally racist. He took it down after a while as I think he knew he had revealed himself. It was in no way coded.

So. When I saw the last post I felt I had to complain to the Church which I did verbally. Then they asked me to write it down and send screen shots of his bilge and now I have stalled. I was going to complain and let him know I had complained. Now I worry about his wife and kids. My partner says just email him and tell him I think it is utterly wrong to a) be posting this at all but b) posting it as a religious leader, thereby giving it some credence. However, he's so fucking sneeringly superior I know he'll just be a twat about it. I really want to see him punished for being so mean and using his position of authority to legitimise his views. That being said, the Church of England isn't known for being progressive so perhaps they'll do nothing at all.

My question is - what would you do?

If he was a nurse, social worker, charity worker, etc, would you report him? They’re all in a position of care over vulnerable people and I see him as no different. Report the scumbag. Can you imagine being someone from a minority background, especially a member of his church/religion and reading his bilge?

You should definitely report him.

Urgh. Report him.

Presumably his wife has access to his public twitter? And knows his general views?

I would 100% report him.
And while your friend may be a nice lady. She sits back and nods and agrees with his disgusting backward ideas- even if its just to keep the peace- its still wrong.

You are in a horrible position OP but its through his doing not yours

You must report this. Please!

If you email him, he will continue in his job and probably be more careful about his posts. He will however, still hold the shame views and they will influence how he treats people in his position of trust.

Follow through with your complaint to the church.

Keep going with your complaint! Pricks like this thrive in silence of others.

The COfE is progressive actually. This won't be tolerated.

I wouldn't engage with him on this issue. Report to his superiors every time he posts something foul on social media, so that the church authorities can build up a strong case against him. You have to make it clear that this instance isn't a one off, it is something he does repeatedly. I would not advise you to tell your friend what you are going to do. Just send in the information you have, and keep sending information in every time he shows his abhorrent beliefs.

I would have thought that the church leadership would keep an eye on what their vicars post on social media, but that cannot be relied upon in this situation as he is still posting away without a care in the world. You will have to make a stand. You are absolutely doing the right thing here. If he loses his job, that would be due to his actions, not yours. He would only have himself to blame.

I would block him and say to your friend that he needs to watch what he is posting. I wouldn't be responsible for him losing his job

Report him.
Dont tell anyone it was you.

He sounds like a narcissist or similar.
Unfortunately these sorts often gravitate towards authority and 'respectable' positions alongside areas where they will have access to vulnerable people.

It isn't on.

Not just because of these views but because quite simply, dark hearted people shouldnt be allowed to represent god.

Totally, totally, totally report him (and I say that as a C of E churchgoer).

People like this need to be called out.

Report him. Your friend chose to marry this man and stays with him.
There is no way she doesnt know his views.
You don't want to hurt his children but imagine what he is teaching them!

Don't message or engage with him in any way.
Do report him as they've asked to the church authorities.
He's scum and needs to be stopped.

I'd report him.

He's in a vocation where he has a degree of authority over his parishoners, as well as a duty of care. Similar to doctor/teacher/counsellor.

It's bad enough for anyone to be posting racist shite online, but for someone in a vocation with that caring/authority combination it somehow makes it even worse. Feeling/thinking in this way isn't compatible with his profession, let alone expressing it externally with no sense of shame.

You should go ahead and report him to the local bishop.

In fact, please report him

If his wife puts up with the racism and the horrible attitude, is she really someone worth knowing?

Just report him. Surprised if you’re the only one tbh. If he’s posting on social media anyone could have done it so don’t tell your mate if you don’t want to.

Absolutely do something about this. The CofE really wants to get rid of people like this and if they have no evidence then it makes it more difficult.

So send the screen shots and don’t say anything to his wife. You don’t have to and presumably she knows what he’s like. That’s not acceptable either.

Report the fucker.

Report, report, report.

Not reporting means you're ok with him being in the position he's in. You're complicit if you don't report him.

Don't uphold racism by being silent on this, if he loses his job then good. He will be less able to harm people.

Definitely report him. He sounds vile. How can anyone be in that profession and behave like this? Makes me feel very sad.

it was precisely this attitude which allowed priest to get away with abuse - you have as pp stated to consider what you would do if he was a social worker or child carer or teacher
please report - if he was innocent or naïve> - but what he attitude shows is arrogance

He’s a Vicar?!... report him please