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Original poster

friend's (vicar) husband posting racist bilge

109 replies

user1493039269 · 30/06/2020 20:46

Long story.

A friend married an awful man (vicar). One of the reasons for his awfulness is the absolute disdain he feels for other people (including people going to his church). The way he used to talk about the (majority black) people in his old church made me really uncomfortable but I thought it was down to the fact he felt superior to just about everyone. I have actually considered reporting him to the Church of England several times for his online comments about parishioners/people in his community (always vulnerable ones) as from what I can see his activity does contravene their policy. He also has a photo of him in his dog collar and his online handle reflects the nature of his work so in no way is he posting as a private individual. However, I have always come back to the fact that if anything came of my complaint it would destroy my relationship with his wife - even if I haven't see her for ages - and it might hurt their kids, which I would not want.

Cue BLM and his FB and Twitter posts make it clear he is actually just racist. There is some pretty offensive stuff, but maybe possibly things that he could squirmingly argue are not racist because they are pretty coded (although tbf people had called him out on it). However, there was one Twitter post that was unequivocally racist. He took it down after a while as I think he knew he had revealed himself. It was in no way coded.

So. When I saw the last post I felt I had to complain to the Church which I did verbally. Then they asked me to write it down and send screen shots of his bilge and now I have stalled. I was going to complain and let him know I had complained. Now I worry about his wife and kids. My partner says just email him and tell him I think it is utterly wrong to a) be posting this at all but b) posting it as a religious leader, thereby giving it some credence. However, he's so fucking sneeringly superior I know he'll just be a twat about it. I really want to see him punished for being so mean and using his position of authority to legitimise his views. That being said, the Church of England isn't known for being progressive so perhaps they'll do nothing at all.

My question is - what would you do?

OP posts:
Yester · 30/06/2020 23:43

It would be very wrong not to report this vile man.

Iflyaway · 30/06/2020 23:46

Why the hell is she with him??

And how the fuck can he call himself a Christian with an attitude like that?

The great thing about having a bi-racial child is those types will dump you. Thank God. Good riddance.

VoldemortsMaid · 30/06/2020 23:49

You're bound to have seen the Desmond Tutu quote going around.

It's not enough to be silent on this. Be anti-racist. Report him and be firm in the belief he deserves everything that might happen to him.

Do not be neutral, that is the worst thing you can do here.

Lucked · 30/06/2020 23:51

He has access to vulnerable people in his job. You report him to his boss.

FirstClassFlightHome · 01/07/2020 00:16

His poor parishoners Sad. Yes, definitely report him. We're here for you if you need support.

Rangoon · 01/07/2020 06:30

Please report him. People of any colour should be welcome in an Anglican church. There are enough problems with church attendance and participation without the racist rantings of a lunatic vicar.

Apolloanddaphne · 01/07/2020 06:34

Vicar or not he sounds horrible. Report him.

abigailwendover · 01/07/2020 06:40

Absolutely report him. His attitude completely goes against Christian teachings and I would certainly hope his bishop takes it seriously - much easier to do if they have evidence.

billybagpuss · 01/07/2020 06:42

Definitely report him, can you do it anonymously so to retain your relationship with your friend. But surely she must know she’s married to a racist arse.

DomDoesWotHeWants · 01/07/2020 06:53

Report him. Don't hesitate.

autumnboys · 01/07/2020 07:02

Please report him. I work in the CoE and they have all the necessary procedures. It’s disgusting that he feels comfortable to post this sort of stuff on social media.

Quillink · 01/07/2020 07:23

Report him. Write to the bishop. Your worry that the church won't care is definitely unfounded.

ifigoup · 01/07/2020 07:25

Please report him. The CofE is currently under a lot of scrutiny re: its handling of race, and this is a timely moment to get things done.

JacobReesMogadishu · 01/07/2020 07:27

Report him. If you just speak to him he will either carry on or even worse just be more underhand about it, but he will still be a racist person in a position of responsibility and it will be harder to prove.

Happymum12345 · 01/07/2020 07:32

You need to report him. He will be influencing his parishioners with his views. He may not lose his job but will be told it isn’t tolerated or acceptable to post such vile things.

PurBal · 01/07/2020 07:32

You need to report him to the bishop immediately. Whatever you write will likely go on his file for the rest of his career so it is imperative to provide evidence (print outs) and be really clear. Personally I think this should go straight to CDM, racism is completely and totally unacceptable, but you may wish to speak to your Archdeacon first. A former bishop has just been suspended in Bath and Wells for racist comments. So it will be addresses.

Nellydean21 · 01/07/2020 07:35

Absolutely report him.

It is not your responsibility what ever the outcome is. Remember racists often like to turn the narrative to a perceived sense of victimhood when exposed.

He will not know it was you. As someone with huge responsibilities within a trusting community he needs to be exposed. Now.

TheMandalorian · 01/07/2020 07:45

I would absolutely report him. Many parishioners are vulnerable in some way or other and look to him for guidance.
Another thing to point out is that, considering the racial profile of the Bethlehem region, Jesus was most likely a person of colour. I would delight in disputing his vile posts with bible quotes about loving thy neighbour, etc.

Marleymoo42 · 01/07/2020 07:46

Please report him. I'm a member of the CofE. It fills me with horror that people like him are able to carry on. The CofE are doing their best to change as institution, despite past failings.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun · 01/07/2020 07:55

Complain to his church.

ChinWhiskers · 01/07/2020 08:06

Why are you having secobd thoughts because of his wife and kids?
I would call him out on twitter or facebook publicly. At least put a formal complaint.

SauvignonBlanche · 01/07/2020 08:07

It’s not enough to not be a racist, we need to be ant-racist.
Report him!

CodenameVillanelle · 01/07/2020 08:11

Report him FFS it's unbearably weak not to

tribpot · 01/07/2020 08:12

This is a recent Facebook post from the Archbishop of Canterbury (i.e. this guy's boss) noting as TheMandalorian does that Jesus was not white. And here he is saying racism is an affront to God.

Please do make a complaint. It isn't enough to do nothing.