Help me leave

[Crass12]

I tried to post 3 times and every time I get to the end I choke and delete

20 years with an abusive asshole - how do you leave without losing everything you worked for?

He’s currently in hospital for at least the next 4 days

AIBU to ask if it’s worth shutting up and putting up if it makes the youngest DC happy? Or do I just dump him while he’s in hospital?

OP, please don't blame yourself for the parenting side of things. It doesn't help.

If your children have been fed, clothed and loved, that is something.

It's your partner who is to blame for the unsafe environment - not you. Please place the blame squarely at his feet and know that you can make a change by leaving him, it's never too late.

Oh OP.

If he's trying to hang himself then he needs help (in more ways than one) but it is not on you - this is your time now. Control your future and don't waste a minute more. You've been through so much.

I know you can do this. You have a wide open door whilst he is in hospital. Take the kids and go x

Well apparently he has now ripped his drip out and is coming home because I've fucked him off and is fuming and I'm a cunt because I bought the wrong toothbrush to him. See text he sent below

N you've fuckef me off that much I'm fucking fuming n I've ripped my fucking drip out n I'm fucking walking home....oh....but you don't give a fuck do you..........died already ain't I cos your a cunt.......now guns fucking die in more agony...oh yeah....cos one fucking job you had......

RIP killed by twat who could get a fucking toothbrush right

Crass12- call the police now. Show them that text and get a restraining order and some protection
Asap.

Tomorrow pack up the kids and get away. Anywhere.

Please. Please. I don't want to read about you in the news, whether its tomorrow or a year from now. Please save yourself and your children

You have to be strong. It is really hard but this is your chance now. Call the police and do NOT put up with this scumbag any longer. This is not a healthy loving relationship.

OP, please call police now. Don’t let him back him. I’m actually scared for you reading that text. He sounds an utter nut job. Tell them what you posted here earlier, what he’s don’t in the past. Please. Do it now. And please let us know you’re safe.

Call the police OP dial 999.

Please leave this violent man. You have suffered enough and deserve so much better. Please take care and ring the police if he does show up

You need to leave this man. Do it not just for your kids but yourself.
Don't waste any more time, words or tears on him.
It sounds like you've lost yourself for such a long time being with someone like that and now it's time for you to find yourself again.
Have a new start and get in touch with your family.
Don't be afraid to call 999. He is a bully.
You can do it.
Good luck and take care of yourself. X

Are you there @Crass12?

I'm scared he will actually do it. I'm on tender hooks. I've locked everything up and the lights are off. I'm going to try and get help tomorrow

Get help NOW. And ring the ward and explain to staff that you are in a DV relationship, he has threatened to walk out and you don’t want him back. They will have a duty of care to alert relevant people about this.

Locking up the house isn't enough. You need to call the police and let them know he's threatened you and he's on his way home.

Please be careful and stay safe

Please be careful I no how it feels to have a partner you are afraid of. If you are to scared to ring the police just get out of the house go anywhere public I no it late at night but if you feel you can't ring the police just try and not be in the house on your own be careful please

I'm going to try and get help tomorrow

Do you have your children at home? They are at risk now, not just you.

Yes call the ward. Tell them. Call the police. You have to do it now OP. I know you're scared. But this final leaving will be the last scary step. Then you're free. You won't have to live in fear of a beating or death at his hands ever again. If you can't do it for yourself please do it for your kids.

Good morning OP.

How did things pan out over night?

Been reading through this, another one here thinking about how you are this morning. Hugs x

hi op

dont listen to what he says about you or children he’s just trying to get in your head so you don't leave and stay stuck in the rut you’re in

leave - you're children will not hate you nor will you be ruining their lives

whats the worse that can happen you're already in a shitty situation things can & will get better ( in time) if you leave

I have let them down massively by staying in an abusive marriage so in effect I’ve abused them by doing so
OK, you know this now.
So STOP letting them down.
Action OP.
Please protect them!
Contact Womens Aid.
Contact Shelter.
Contact Rights of Women.
Do it all today.
Reach out to your family.
Reach out to your older DC.
You CAN do this.
Posting this was a massive 1st step.
Do NOT lose that motivation and momentum!

@Crass12 How are you today?

... OP? Please keep posting. Are you safe?

@Crass12?

Hoping you're ok.

@LouMumsnet