Too self conscious about looks to meet up

[Gemi33]

Hi

I've been single for a very long time and after putting it off for a while I joined a dating app at the start of the year. I haven't really met anyone I'm particularly interested in but in the last couple of days I've started chatting to someone - he seems really nice. He has already mentioned us meeting up. This is the problem and partly why I was reluctant to try OD, I am very overweight and look horrible. I have been for a while and have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight for a while but now it's even worse because I have put weight on in lockdown so I'm even bigger. I'm not sure that my photos show how big I am and I'm really worried about meeting up with him and him running a mile and being really put off. I don't want to offend him though and say no...is anyone else in a similar position?

xx

I'm not that bothered with the size of people but what does really piss me off is lying.
This guy on OLD a few years back sent me a pic of himself about 30 years younger, face was a bit blurry. When he got out of the car I didn't know who he was.
He must have been at least 30 stone and both legs bandaged, he had very leaky leg ulcers staining through the bandaging and he was bald with no teeth.
I said to him I only date people who are honest with me and sending a picture of himself 30 years younger, slim and fit is not on. And I didn't stay for the date. I could smell the leg ulcers across the carpark.
I wouldn't be dating anyone if I had chronic leg ulcers and wasn't at least wearing dentures.

itsureis

How shallow of you for having a preference when it comes to dating!

Men definitely care about size and appearance, I’m really surprised that people are suggesting that isn’t the case.Men are generally quite open with me (male friends or romantic partners), and comments have included;

‘A size 12 wouldn’t do it for me, I need someone to have a tiny waist and big boobs’ - male friend said that one!

‘I at least need someone to have a body that has seen a gym’ - current boyfriend.

‘Men are more visual than women’

OP - just be up front, some men are into larger ladies.

My OH shaves his head because he's going bald. However, I like baldness, rather than completely ignoring his hair and thinking only of his brain, so I'm not sure where this places me on the shallow-ometer. Probably still at the puddle end since I choose not to go out with anyone morbidly obese.

@PumpkinP

Yep ! I haven't got to the tender age of 48 without knowing what I like !

I'm sure I'm not everybody's cup of tea, and that's totally fine - I'm not going to make someone be physically attracted to me just because it's shallow not to be 🤷‍♀️

FYI An example of shallow is a person who only cares about someone's looks and how much money they have.

I don't care about how much money they have and I don't ONLY care about their looks. They also have to have an awesome sense of humour 😬

I also don't care for Salt & Vinegar crisps - does this make me shallow about my choice of fried potato snacks 🤔

A husband who's balding is fine because hopefully you love the bones of him, regardless of anything that may alter with his looks 😍

I'm single (some might say "no surprise there 🙄") so am only talking about swiping left or right ;-)

I love a bald guy . Nothing worse, for me personally , is a guy with long/ish hair . Hate it !!!!
We all have what we prefer,, tall , short , fat , thin , bald ,hairy . There is no right answer , just our own preferences .
Do yourself up , wear something you feel good in and take a few pics , put the best one on your profile . If he backs off, you have saved yourself the effort of going out to meet someone who wouldn’t have matched well with you . If he doesn’t , game on .
Feel Confident in yourself ,self confidence is sexy in anyone , male or female .

I'd ask him for a very recent pic, then he'll probably ask you for one?

My exh had a full head of hair, but there was an inverse correlation with brains unfortunately. When you're in your 40s/50s, ruling out the bald or balding guys on dating apps really limits your options in my experience! But fortunately the only thing I really can't stand is a moustache (with no beard), and there aren't that many of those around. With a lovely balding guy now, so many thanks for all those who swiped left on him

@ravenmum 😂

I know that I'm reducing the stack by 90% but i do like a challenge ...
And if I didn't discard some I would probably swipe right for all ... and still get no matches 😬