DF retired and has nothing to do with himself all day

[Flyg]

I am hoping I may find some good suggestions here for what retired men in their 70's spend their time doing. My DF's retirement was forced a bit suddenly by the pandemic, not only is he in his 70's and a diabetic, but also his clients are all OAP's and so where he was slowly handing his business over to other people, he's had to end up doing it all at once.

The problem is that he is beyond bored now and just doesnt know what to do with himself at all. He's always just worked and gone to the football, which of course now it just the TV as no one can go to the grounds at the moment. A situation that should revert eventually, so thats something for the future.

He is quite stubborn and is turning down most suggestions me and DM are making. So far he has turned his nose up at internet forums and baking. His hip means the amount of walking he can do is limited, he doesnt want to get into cooking, hates gardening, currently cant see friends he has who run the local car parts shop (another situation that should improve). He's not a massive reader either.

His time is filled with seeing me and his grandchildren (SD of course) my brothers visits once or twice a week and the rest of the time he is just attaching himself to my DM and its a bit too much for her, she has quite a full life and does gardening, cooking from scratch, french online classes, different friendship groups, knitting etc. She retired only last month after 40 odd years as a nurse and her life is already active and varied.

So I suppose what I am asking for is for you all to just throw at me all the things your DF's or FIL's or DH's (if retired) do with themselves all day.

Thank you for reading this far

Building model aeroplanes and flying them (big models that hardly fit in the car this is). - this is sociable which is a tick.
Restoring a sea going yacht - never finished before he got ill
Avoiding my mum and her list of DIY jobs.
Hanging around with retired friends.

ILs spend a lot of time taking caravan out, planning it,unpacking it etc. But they are very easily entertained and watching a good nature documentary will keep them going the whole day.

Gradually getting into internet chat with shared interests and I keep pushing the concept of Amazon /Netflix boxsets but they resist.

Lego.
Family tree history.
Bonsai.

Thank you, im going to suggest the internet chat thing again because you really can spend a lot of time on forums like this one.

The model building is out sadly because he is not very good with his hands, he couldnt really do DIY very well he's just a bit heavy handed.

Avoiding your mums list made me smile, my Mum has long been the one to do the DIY in their home !

He did the family tree a few years ago, but im not sure how far he got so i will suggest it again, thank you. He cant do lego. When you say bonsai do you mean the little tree's? How much upkeep do they tend to need?

Photography
Find a charity he could get involved in
I know you said he’s not good at diy but would he be interested in restoring an item of furniture?

Is there a branch of the university of the third age (U3A) near him? They do a vast range of different stuff, some for properly elderly people (escorted bus tours etc) and some for younger retired people. My ILs are involved in some of it (young 70 year olds) as are my neighbours.

Not sure how Covid and SD will have hit it but might be online stuff still.?

Is the a Men in Sheds type group near him. It sounds ideal for when we can get out and about more.

Model train set? My FIL has taken over the garage with building his tracks and is incrementally taking over parts of the house. My MIL rolls her eyes but think she's secretly pleased he's got something which keeps him properly occupied. It's quite sweet :)

I cannot understand how people can be bored! I live alone with my cat but I don't have enough hours in the day to do all of my hobbies.
I do work full time but even if I didn't there would not be enough hours.
DIY and house design, currently having the whole place replastered so I can redecorate
Garden design
Clubs around my town - gardening, neighbourhood watch, friends of the local church (even though I'm pagan I love the building), local womens groups
Building dollshouses and making all the furniture
Knitting, making clothes
I volunteer for the Cats Protection League.
Visiting friends and neighbours
Getting involved with local religious groups
The list goes on.
There must be a local whats on and groups in your area website with ideas in it and training to do something new in evening or day, classes like wood turning, learning how to use the internet.
There are always volunteers wanted everywhere.
Discovering the National Trust properties and gardens locally and finding lovely woods, scenery to go and visit.
But quite honestly sometimes I think it's best to let people get on with finding something to amuse themselves, I'm sure he is quite capable of finding something without the entire family running around after him trying to keep him amused.

If he loves his grandchildren why don't you get him to build a dollshouse or toy garage for them.
You can get quite cheap kits on the internet and furniture kits too to make up. Hours of fun.

Learning coding?
Deffo look into U3A - they have all sorts so he can try new things galore.
Learning languages?

Walking? Conservation work - eg near me they have teams of people to attack brambles.
Volunteering in a local attraction- stately home type thing or garden. Local history.

He's probably just coming to terms with having retirement forced upon him.

Does he like animals?
Someone we know got 3 little chickens when he retired

Thinking sideways from his job- if he’s very experienced in an area- start a blog or facebook page etc

eBay buying and selling

I second university of 3rd age if he’s intelligent and not a Sun reader etc- a lot of ex teachers, management consultants etc— but you need to be near somewhere that has this

Tons of voluntary stuff that’s suitable

Get an annual pass to odeon cinema etc- really cheap for OAPs

He may be feeling a bit depressed - suddenly his life is outside his control, but it's not fair on your mum to have to 'entertain' him.

My own DF, once retired, revived his interest in military history and amassed more books on the WW11 than anyone could have a use for (as we found, when he died and we needed to get rid of them!). He visited museums and aircraft museums (my mum would go too as long as there was tea and cake at the destination).

Does your DF have any forgotten hobbies that he's put on hold? He doesn't sound wildly practical, so maybe research of some kind? How about the history of his/your house, or town or city? Might be nice for your DC when they are older to have.

Why are you trying to find hobbies for him?
Your mother should put her foot down and make him find a hobby for himself.

What does he do at home, if not cooking or diy? I hope the laundry and cleaning, then (suspects not).

Finding a hobby could become his job.
Trying things out should distract him, at least.

Hm.. I'm sorry (feels like bursting a bubble) but I do not think it is up to women to entertain a bored adult man. Particularly one that doesn't seem to be receptive to advice.
Have you/your mum always panered to him and tip toed around his needs? Your poor mum. I can't see why age would be an excuse to carry on in a shit relationship. By the way, male inertness, boredom and being dull and grumpy is one of the main reasons for women to ask for a divorce in older age. Women, who want to have an active, fulfilled life.
Imagine a man in his 30's sitting at home with plenty of free time on his hands and moaning day in, day out that he's bored. I'd be outta there immediately. Why would that be different in retirement?
Another thing is, it might be the kind of old age setting in where the mental health rapidly deteriorates. My grandad was similar. Working, busy, allotments. Retired. Carried on busying himself with reading, gardening, cooking. Then those hobbies for no apparent reason were dropped. Suggestions were turned now. At the same time he started losing lucidity in conversations. Developed diabetes, started losing his eyesight. Became quite grumpy and objectionable to everything.
From my point of view what's happening to your dad is either his unpleasant ways are more obvious now he's at home all day, or it's "old" old age. Look after your mum. She will need it in both scenarios.

My dads recently retired too and driving my mum potty. He's always had a love of birds so I bought him a membership to a local sanctuary recently. He's hot the premium membership so he has the opportunity to do handling too. That gets him out of mums way
I've also got some contacts at the local dog rescue, he's taken a few pooches for a walk and visits them to socialise them

Do you have any bowling greens nearby? It's what all OAP's seems to be doing around here. A lot of them also have a dog which would keep him busy but it wouldn't be great if can't walk enough.

Thanks for all suggestings, i am frantically googling a lot of these things

I second (third) the volunteering suggestion. My DF and DM do a lot of this. The hardest part is to find somewhere to get started, and then once you're in, people keep asking you to do more/other things too!

DF helps with the local foodbank, which now also includes (by phone) checking up on local vulnerable people. If your DF likes to chat he might like this?

He also helped set up a local community cafe and has learned to use whatsapp in order to co-ordinate the volunteers for their shifts . (Also learned to use a coffee machine which is very impressive!)
Cafe closed at present, but hopefully open again soon. Are there any local community facilities close by?

When they first retired my parents built a retirement bungalow, which kept DF busy for years.... This is a pretty extreme way to keep him occupied though!

When my father retired he got himself some dogs. He cant walk much either , he smashed his hip a few years back but he takes them to a forest and they run about and he just strolls along. They keep him busy and provide him with company. A small little rescue dog might suit him best , plenty of older dogs always looking for homes and they wouldn't need as much exercise.

Darts
Swimming
Bike riding
Volunteer transport getting people to appointments
Matched betting
Can he take over cooking a couple of the evening meals?
Attending local council meetings
Would he be interested in going along to watch a few court cases
Snooker
Listening to podcasts/talk radio
Weight training
Yoga
Fishing

i am frantically googling a lot of these things

You're busy finding ways to keep him busy... see the irony there?
He should be googling it.
He just needs the right carrot, or stick. Whatever works.