DF retired and has nothing to do with himself all day

[Flyg]

I am hoping I may find some good suggestions here for what retired men in their 70's spend their time doing. My DF's retirement was forced a bit suddenly by the pandemic, not only is he in his 70's and a diabetic, but also his clients are all OAP's and so where he was slowly handing his business over to other people, he's had to end up doing it all at once.

The problem is that he is beyond bored now and just doesnt know what to do with himself at all. He's always just worked and gone to the football, which of course now it just the TV as no one can go to the grounds at the moment. A situation that should revert eventually, so thats something for the future.

He is quite stubborn and is turning down most suggestions me and DM are making. So far he has turned his nose up at internet forums and baking. His hip means the amount of walking he can do is limited, he doesnt want to get into cooking, hates gardening, currently cant see friends he has who run the local car parts shop (another situation that should improve). He's not a massive reader either.

His time is filled with seeing me and his grandchildren (SD of course) my brothers visits once or twice a week and the rest of the time he is just attaching himself to my DM and its a bit too much for her, she has quite a full life and does gardening, cooking from scratch, french online classes, different friendship groups, knitting etc. She retired only last month after 40 odd years as a nurse and her life is already active and varied.

So I suppose what I am asking for is for you all to just throw at me all the things your DF's or FIL's or DH's (if retired) do with themselves all day.

Thank you for reading this far

For what is worth, I've had an equivalent experience with my mum when my dad died. We suggested activities for her to meet people and have some company, but she wasn't ready, so we didn't insist. She's an adult and she can choose what to do with her life without us pestering her to do what we think she she should be doing.

I know someone who actually asked for early retirement and he was shocked when he got it.
It took him a while, but he found ways of being busy and is quite happy. No children or wife to worry about him.

It's an adjustment period, but regardless of age, it can work better if people can find their way.

Is you dad good at DIY, could you ask him to do a few jobs for you? Does he read a paper, could you get him into a routine where he walks for a paper each morning. Also think getting a dog is a good idea. Do they go on holidar much, could you get him to plan and research a weekend break for them. I think you will get him to do stuff if he thinks he is helping you out, so you need to keep thinking of things for him to do for other people so he feels wanted.

Also to the PP who said you shouldn't push him into doing anything he doesn't want to, I agree but only to a point. My mum is 80 on her own with a little bit of dementia. She would never join anything or do an classes or hobbies, but now I think she regrets it as she has no close friends nearby.

OP, you sound so great a daughter.

Do not allow your fathers disinterest to smother your mother's plans.

It often happens and is a disaster for the woman.

She needs to carry on and not be guilted by leaving him to it!

Retirement is like any big life chane, "fail to prepare, prepare to fail".

In my husbands multiple nation company they have classes and day seminars to help people prepare to more on to the next stage.

Comprehensively checking out all suitable activity options in the local area, plus maybe around 10-20km would be a good plan.

Gather as much literature about these clubs as you can for him.

Has he any life skill that he could help others with?

Citizens advice are always looking for good people.

God helps those, who help themselves.

Give him information and encouragement.

If your mother motors on as a good example of a person with a full life, it will also help.

Well done for being so supportive.

If your DF has recently retired, he probably needs time to adjust

However, it's really up to him how he fills his time

3rd age?
Audiobooks?

I hope he finds something he likes

Can he do any of his previous work on a part time self employed basis? Or be a non exec or trustee board member etc?

Men are a bit rubbish at this sometimes. I’m always saying to my DH he needs to start getting his head around retirement now because he has nothing other than work.

OP, you've already had lots of great suggestions but just wanted to say to ignore any negative posters-its lovely that you are looking out for your dad who was clearly a great father and it's your turn to support him a bit. Good idea to suggest things and it may take him a while to find his feet and decide what he wants to do with retirement-my dad in time became an avid reader and I keep him busy with requests to help with DIY at my house!