Is height really important ?

[fortunacookie]

Had a social distance date with a guy yesterday. Was a little disappointed to see he looked shorter than the 5'11 that was on his profile (I'm 5'7 so quite tall) but then when we got talking I found him a nice person and we seemed to get on great.

Just wondered others thoughts on height and those who have a partner what are your heights ? Does it bother you ?

I'm 5ft and would much prefer someone around 6ft, otherwise our kids would be tiny. I could overlook height for the right person, but I just don't find short guys immediately attractive - unless they are very handsome.

I think height is a bit like ginger hair; if you are attractive it adds to you as it is striking and unusual, if you are not attractive it doesnt help as it draws attention to you.

See I disagree, I actually think height can make an average man much more attractive.

But for a 5 foot 3 girl guy 5 foot 9 would be tall.

I am 5ft 4 and 5ft 9 would not be tall for me! I like someone who is significantly taller and wouldn’t want to date someone under 6ft

Height is important to me in that I want my man to be taller than me. And I am 5'7 and love wearing heels. DH is 6'3 or he wouldn't stand a chance!

So all men should avoid short women incase they end up having boys who would then be rejected.

Is it me or does anyone find that taller guys tend to be more arrogant I.e. they would always showcase their height on social media ("6'2 king") ("tall dark and handsome")

I think sometimes we assume just because someone is taller they are more desirable. But it depends on character as well. If you are a guy who is 2 inches taller and a better personality that is way better than someone who is 12 inches taller but isn't as nice.

If you are a guy who is 2 inches taller and a better personality that is way better than someone who is 12 inches taller but isn't as nice.

Is it though?

A lot of taller blokes esp when younger often slouch to hide it.

Having people look at you etc all the time can be unsettling esp when you're a late teen/ young adult.

Had a garden date tonight and I think I'm getting past his height now as I really do like him ..

I’m finding some women’s concerns here of having short children really weird. It also suggests choosing a man for his genes not who they are. It’s not a good look ladies, pretty sure this hypersensitive new generation will label your way off thinking as outdated & offensive soon enough. Handwringing about having short kid sounds incredibly shallow - we would do well to challenge this notion. It only perpetuates the myth that short is lesser than.

Billie Joe from green day is like 5 foot but doubt he is “short” of women who desire him. What about Tom Cruise? I don’t like him but back in my day women used to swoon for him. Both short men.

Also I agree online blokes who are taller think they are king shit. Ones who play it up too much in their profile always think “oh fuck off you big wanker”

Also from my considerable experience there is no correlation between height & penis size. That is a “big” myth too (i presume people who perpetuate the myth of tall being better also tend to believe such things)

It's never bothered me, quite the reverse in fact, some of my best flings have been with men a lot shorter than me. I'm 5'10 so that's a fair few people but I've fancied the arse off several guys who were 5'6.

@fortunacookie - that's great, glad you enjoyed the date

It's not necessarily the case that tall parents have tall children!

@tallgal exactly! Lamenting because your tall partner gave you short children seems odd. It’s like would you rather have a short, healthy child or a tall child with health problems / disorders ?

So picking a partner to help boost the height of your children is not only ineffective (because genes don’t always work like that ) and setting yourself up to be disappointed by your children for their physical traits

Money is a great compensator for height. I am really quite short and, when younger, had no problem getting dates or having relationships with women up to 4-5 inches taller.

A bottle of champagne and a meal out at an expensive restaurant, holidays in 5 star hotels etc work wonders.

I am not sure I really get what the point of admitting to being shallow and discussing it at length is? And surely people realise that ‘fancying’ someone is not merely some god-given physical process, but a combination of innate attraction and culture?

I don’t fancy really fat women (size 14 ish would be my limit depending on height) but I do realise that, take me back to Reubens time, and I would have been all over them. Height and weight are just success markers. Height is a combination of genetics and nutrition, which meant, years ago richer people were taller.

In the ‘old days’ City lunches were a big thing and most bankers used to be fat-as in properly fat. They always had gorgeous girlfriends. Since the gym culture took off, having a personal trainer and protein shakes delivered is a better market of success, so women put far more store by ‘bodded’ men, again a marker of success as these guys have the time and money to exercise like a professional athlete and have an expensive tailored diet. And the same for women, the ones who can afford cleaners and child care can easily lose their ‘baby weight’ and tone up.

Ultimately a meeting of minds is far more powerful than instant attraction if you want a meaningful relationship rather than a shag. It is depressing how many people (and not just really young ones) still think you need an explosion of physical chemistry at first to have a good relationship.

So, in summary, give the short guy a go!

@larrygrylls I'm not interested in how much money a man has. I can support myself and value qualities like kindness and a good sense of humour over money.

I disagree that height is a success marker as I have dated very tall men who don't have particularly good jobs.

Interesting to read your point of view though.

Tall,

The success marker thing is subconscious. Most of the films that you have seen and most of the books you have read will feature tall successful men (not necessarily monetarily, but successful somehow).

I am not sure 50 Shades of Grey would have been a bestseller had Christian Grey been a librarian who dressed in a polyester suit..

Why don't I fancy very fat women? I find it hard to believe it has anything to do with conditioning as it feels just 'natural', but in poor societies, where being able to afford enough food to get fat is a sign of success, people 'fancy' fat people.

I agree the whole need a tall man so I can have tall kids is weird . DH is 5’8, DS is 6’4. So there goes that logic .
As for complaints about men lying about their height on OLD , I think they do add on a few cm that said I have a fair few male friends who’ve gone on dates with women , who have rocked up looking several years older than their pic suggests and often a few dress sizes larger . People often lie on dating sites .
I’m 5’9, I wouldn’t date anyone MUCH shorter than me ,but don’t get why Op is moaning about her dates height , he was taller than her so what’s the problem ( apart from the lies of course).

@Samedaysameshit

So all men should avoid short women incase they end up having boys who would then be rejected.

yeah I don't get that. You're bringing nothing but bad genes to the genetic party and still feel entitled. Human nature I suppose.

And the same for women, the ones who can afford cleaners and child care can easily lose their ‘baby weight’ and tone up.

Is that meant to be funny . Four kids here , workout everyday and follow a strict medically endorsed diet According to THREE plastic surgeons toning up any further is IMPOSSIBLE short of plastic surgery once the skin has been stretched by multiple pregnancies . Also spent considerable time with a personal trainer btw !
You can def tell a man wrote that comment . Perhaps men with no idea of pregnancy and childbirth should think before chining in on how ‘easy’ it is for women
Considering men judge women’s bodies so harshly and one of the biggest industries on the planet, the pirn industry , which thrives on presenting thin and young women ( but not necessarily men ) as the ideal and actually considers ‘ fat women ‘ a fetish I think men will just have to suck it up that many of us much prefer a man with some height

Be shallow if you like, just know that if we replace height with weight women would not think well of blokes talking about a few kgs either way being a make or break deal for them.

When people here put on weight & the spouse is unhappy, men are slated for thinking their wives have become fat - and this is someone one can at least try to rectify

Can’t really help height. Can’t help what you’re attracted to - does this mean it’s nice to speak of height preference the way we do? Arguably the conversation could stand to be brought into a more current way of thinking - if everything is “phobic” now, surely “height-phobic” is something that as yet to be addressed & likely one day will be the way this hypersensitive generation is going!

But within the militant hypersensitivity are also valid points. Am sure mothers of short children, in particular sons would not wish for their boys to feel insecure, less than because of their height.

This Does not mean people should date someone they are not attracted to - but it’s not very nice to short blokes to speak about it the way we do. I say men because as a short female have not experienced any discrimination due to my height (I am scared of amusement park rides so no issues meeting any height requirements there!)

Indeed someone who keeps having to make themselves “ok” about someone’s height by listing off all the superficial good points like if he has a lot of money or is a lawyer etc is incredibly shallow & if money will sway you to dating someone short this is not a good recipe for a genuine, authentic love. So as long as you are self aware enough to realise you’re literally SELLING YOURSELF SHORT IN LOVE then go right ahead. But if someone has a lot of money/flashy job just consider the fact you could also likely be a trophy to them for superficial reasons. Maybe if you put on too much weight, he might think he deserves an upgrade.

Shallow thinking goes both ways ! Fair’s fair ladies.

And one. Can’t help their age either but that doesn’t stop men gloriflying youth in women right?

It seems that men are allowed to apply limitless criteria to women , put them under a virtual microscope , yet heavens forbid a woman might prefer one physical attribute in men

@treadmilleveryday

Sure! I agree but “ageism” is known as problematic conversation & “heightism” is not yet.

Also if someone speaks ill of someone else, does making negative comments back make it right? Instead of trying to “win” or “score points” isn’t it that we just stop being mean towards each other in discriminatory ways?

This is also a generalisation as I happen to believe in love & the little old couple walking hand in hand so love is ageless.

Also a lot of men are attracted to older women too. I am 38 & my last boyfriend, though a total nightmare was 21

What you deem mere 'personal preference' is actually a much wider societal issue. Taller men have many advantages in society, so it's unsurprising women want to date them when they're more likely to also be higher earners/higher achievers.

But that is personal preference, according to what you regard as a high achievement and the extent to which you value wealth.

My 5'9" OH earns under £25k a year. However, he is very sensible with money, which is a trait that I value. He's careful, budgets, and doesn't get into debt. He's also generous and when I was out of work for a while he was more than happy to pay for dates, despite my qualms about paying my own way.

He doesn't have a corporate job or a flashy career. But as far as I'm concerned he has achieved a huge amount in his life, including being a very skilled musician and singer, and bringing up his daughter under less than easy circumstances. So if your personal idea of success is a banker on £££++++ then he isn't successful. If what you want is someone funny, kind, creative and empathetic then he's dynamite.

I think it’s important if women are told “hey this isn’t a nice way to speak about men”

That we could stand to take it on board sometimes, without retaliating that it is ok to speak this way because men speak X way about women.

Shouldn’t we be riding above this ? Otherwise it’s all very “do as we say, but not as we do” really

Oh and for the record this type of attitude about height being a deficiency to men is being passed down to your children. So those who are parents of sons, am not sure why you would not feel stronger about the issue.

Also daughters will inherit this way of thinking - it’s ok they are short, but not ok if boys are?