I need advice plz. We are Not rich, not poor, just comfortable. I'm a sahm, husband earns enough to look after us and pays for everything. We have 2 kids under 10. They have everything they want, we go on lovely holidays, have a lovely home etc.
Id like to think I'm a good mum. I'm shouty but apart from that I play with my kids, take them places, give them all of my love and attention. We have a lovely relationship.
My husband is what can be described as a fun sponge /Victor meldrew. We could be having a lovely relaxed day then as soon as he walks in the door from work, everything becomes negative. He has more rules for the kids, tells them off for things I wouldn't, doesn't show his emotions, doesn't play with them etc. When we go on holidays etc he walks round with a moody face all the time but says he's fine. I have to keep asking him if he's OK.
Weve been together for 20 years and he wasn't like this at the start. I am by no means perfect and when we clash it is because of our parenting styles. He's too strict, and I'm too soft.
My daughter is a very good girl, causes us no problems, she's very happy, contented.
Our son who is 9, has mild sen, he doesn't and never has played with toys. He has an xbox that he wants to be on all the time, we give him rules and my husband is very strict on it, he can go on at weekends for 4 hours each time. But we all end up arguing alot about it, as when he's asked to come off it could be just as his friend has come online so he wants to then stay on and play with them. He then wanders round like a lost soul with nothing to do. He can't entertain himself at all and finds no pleasure in things. He's always been this way.
Anyway, he has started to ask me to seperate from his dad, and telling me that he hates him. He tells me that as soon as he reaches 16 or 18 he will leave and never wants to see my husband again. I will reiterate, my husband provides everything, he has never ever hit them or even really punished them for things. He's just strict, has rules and doesn't show his emotions. My son thinks that if my husband wasn't here, then my son could do what he wants all the time!! With no rules! I've told him this wouldn't be the case as he'd still have rules with me, and also he would have to spend time with his dad aswell and I wouldn't be there!! My son thinks this because some of his friends parents are seperated, so they get 2 bedrooms, 2 lots of presents, 2 holidays etc. It all sounds fab to him!!
The problem is, is I no longer love my husband. There is nothing to love because he is so joyless. I am trapped by being a sahm with no money of my own. I would love nothing more than to seperate with him right now, I often dream about it. But I won't do it because I cannot bare the thought of not having full custody of my children and having to be away from them. In my mind I dream of when they are teenagers I will do it but it's a long way off. Up to 10 years.
To hear my child say he wants it to happen is awful and I just don't know what to do! Someone please advise me, my son is talking about something that is life changing yet the only reasons he wants it is he thinks ill let him play on his xbox all day!! But if only he knew how I really felt inside