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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Handhold for Paternity Test Results

119 replies

WorriedaboutDNA · 09/06/2020 10:27

Good morning all. Long time poster, name changed for obvious reason but please can I ask for no judgement.

Long story short, I have a 2 year old son with a man who I am no longer with. It was always a very volatile and nasty relationship from his side. I am a Solicitor by trade and always thought I was a strong and independent woman, but he turned me into a needy, weak person I didn't know.

We eventually separated and it was the best thing ever. I feel free and alive and wonderful. He saw I was doing great and started windling his way in again. He talked me into meeting up and we ended up in bed for 2 days. I was on the pill, there was no use of condom. 2 weeks later my period was late and a test showed I was pregnant. Cutting a very long story short, after tooing and froing we decided to try and give things a go. We moved in together, he cheated, we separated last year and I eventually got my own place 6 months ago. I feel wonderful again and am loving life with just my son.

Ex hasn't taken it well. He feels he has a right to be with me and I have said no numerous times. This is where he kicked off and asked for a DNA test. No problem I say, until I remembered something...

5 days before the 2 day rendezvous with now ex, I had a bit of thing with a guy from work. It was a very random and unexpected quickie and he didn't use a condom, but he pulled out and did his business elsewhere so to speak. It was so quick and rubbish, I genuinely didn't even consider that there is a chance this man could be the father. So now I am absolutely crapping myself.

This man, whilst a crap father, has a lovely extended family who love and support our son and its these people I don't want to hurt if the result goes the wrong way.

So the result is due in between 4.30 and 5.30 today. My stomach is in absolute knots. I feel sick, terrified that the result will go the wrong way. I feel absolutely awful that I have put myself in the situation.

Please, I just need a handhold, not a lecture :(

OP posts:
Sugartitss · 09/06/2020 17:08

I’ve been in this position op, no judgment here. Best of luck x

FelicityPike · 09/06/2020 17:14

Pleased for you.

Elouera · 09/06/2020 17:21

That's great!!! Sharing a vino with you x

CrazyToast · 09/06/2020 17:22

Great!

BitOfFun · 09/06/2020 17:33

Whew! Good luck in whatever you do next Flowers

Damnmeifyouwish · 09/06/2020 17:36

Pleased for you.

Sort out maintenance and contact and hopefully you can move on from this.

WorriedaboutDNA · 09/06/2020 17:39

The best bit is it says “ it is 330,758,858,418 times more likely that he is the father against any other unrelated man in the population” 🤣😂 I had to google it but that’s 330 billion. Pretty sure he can’t deny he’s his now!

I text him the report and he replied “that was quick 😳” and nothing else since.

I am so relieved. Now I can start sorting things officially.

Thank you all again x

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 09/06/2020 18:12

Fab!
Put it all behind you now.

Sally872 · 09/06/2020 18:17

Great news OP. Pleased for you.

TheletterZ · 09/06/2020 18:22

So pleased you got the result you wanted. No judgement at all and good luck getting everything officially sorted now.

supersop60 · 09/06/2020 18:25

Great news!
Good luck.

WorriedaboutDNA · 09/06/2020 18:25

Thanks again before I name change back. You are all awesome and really helped me today x

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/06/2020 18:26

Phew, now just keep that ex far far away from you and hopefully DS!

SummerDayWinterEvenings · 09/06/2020 18:28

Well done for biting the bullet. Glad it came back how you wanted.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 09/06/2020 18:38

Glad it turned out how you wanted.

NoMoreDickheads · 09/06/2020 18:45

Phew!

Use a condom every time from now on unless you're in a committed relationship. You know better than this. For a start, AIDS and STIs etc are still a thing.

ColdToesHere · 09/06/2020 19:07

I’m glad you have that relief. X

MulticolourMophead · 09/06/2020 19:13

I'm glad it turned out how you wanted, and certainly no judgement from me. Hope the relief can push you on towards that new happy life, just you and your DS.

MaddieElla · 09/06/2020 22:21

Lovely. Smile

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