Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Handhold for Paternity Test Results

119 replies

WorriedaboutDNA · 09/06/2020 10:27

Good morning all. Long time poster, name changed for obvious reason but please can I ask for no judgement.

Long story short, I have a 2 year old son with a man who I am no longer with. It was always a very volatile and nasty relationship from his side. I am a Solicitor by trade and always thought I was a strong and independent woman, but he turned me into a needy, weak person I didn't know.

We eventually separated and it was the best thing ever. I feel free and alive and wonderful. He saw I was doing great and started windling his way in again. He talked me into meeting up and we ended up in bed for 2 days. I was on the pill, there was no use of condom. 2 weeks later my period was late and a test showed I was pregnant. Cutting a very long story short, after tooing and froing we decided to try and give things a go. We moved in together, he cheated, we separated last year and I eventually got my own place 6 months ago. I feel wonderful again and am loving life with just my son.

Ex hasn't taken it well. He feels he has a right to be with me and I have said no numerous times. This is where he kicked off and asked for a DNA test. No problem I say, until I remembered something...

5 days before the 2 day rendezvous with now ex, I had a bit of thing with a guy from work. It was a very random and unexpected quickie and he didn't use a condom, but he pulled out and did his business elsewhere so to speak. It was so quick and rubbish, I genuinely didn't even consider that there is a chance this man could be the father. So now I am absolutely crapping myself.

This man, whilst a crap father, has a lovely extended family who love and support our son and its these people I don't want to hurt if the result goes the wrong way.

So the result is due in between 4.30 and 5.30 today. My stomach is in absolute knots. I feel sick, terrified that the result will go the wrong way. I feel absolutely awful that I have put myself in the situation.

Please, I just need a handhold, not a lecture :(

OP posts:
roxfox · 09/06/2020 15:46

Good luck op, not long now! All a bit Jeremy Kyle!

LemonBreeland · 09/06/2020 15:47

Good luck OP, I hope it goes the way you want. But just remember that if it doesn't, it doesn't really change your DS, or your life with him to a huge extent.

WingingIt101 · 09/06/2020 15:48

Good luck OP not long to go now.
As others have said the result doesn’t have to define anything - least of all you.

BlueJava · 09/06/2020 15:53

Good luck OP. Keep yourself busy until you have the results then take time to assess what you want to do first.

stairgates · 09/06/2020 15:55

Good luck :)

SingingSands · 09/06/2020 16:02

A handhold from me too.

Do you know why exactly your ex wanted a DNA test? Was it just something hurtful for him to say or does he actually want to wriggle out of his responsibilities?

Not much longer to wait, try not to stress too much, you've done really well to escape an abusive relationship and I hope the future is bright for you and your son Thanks

hello538 · 09/06/2020 16:03

Good luck !

Viviennemary · 09/06/2020 16:04

Wouldn't facial expressions be copied rather than inherited.

MsMiaWallace · 09/06/2020 16:08

Handhold here.
Your not a bad person!!

I think it'll be your ex going by what you've said.

Uncoordinated · 09/06/2020 16:12

I hope this clears things up and makes things a little easier for you OP.

doodleygirl · 09/06/2020 16:13

Good luck, hope it is the response you want

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 09/06/2020 16:15

Another hand hold from me. I hope it’s the result you want and I’m so sorry that a man made you feel so awful about yourself. You deserve better than that.

Cherrybakewellard · 09/06/2020 16:17

🤞🏻

Cooper88 · 09/06/2020 16:20

🤞

mamaoffourdc · 09/06/2020 16:21

No judgement here - good luck, fingers crossed

Elouera · 09/06/2020 16:25

6mins till you can call. Teeth chattering and nail biting going on here!!!

Littleheart5 · 09/06/2020 16:25

No judgment here either, these things really do just happen. Fingers crossed

Hohohole · 09/06/2020 16:29

Good luck op hope you get the result you wanted.

CrazyToast · 09/06/2020 16:34

Of course you aren't a shitty person! Sex with two guys when you're free and single, woo hoo, have at it I say (with condom). Pretty damn unlucky about the pill failing--- did you also get STI tested? If not, you can order tests online which you do yourself at home and post back to them.

Otherwise, fingers crossed!

springiscoming12 · 09/06/2020 16:57

Good luck OP!

WorriedaboutDNA · 09/06/2020 17:00

99.99% probability it’s exes!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 09/06/2020 17:02

Woooowhoooo! Excellent news!

L0bstersLass · 09/06/2020 17:02

So pleased for you!

81Byerley · 09/06/2020 17:04

I'm glad for you.

Iminthewrongstory · 09/06/2020 17:04

Phew!