Would you be annoyed if he ignores your texts but on social media?

[drrrt]

Been on off seeing him a year.
He's a bit of a player.
He's turned his ticks off on WhatsApp so you can't see when he has read a message.
He also has he's last seen off.
I sent him a text 2 hours ago then another a hour ago.
He has ignored them.
Yet he's been online on WhatsApp (for the last two hours on and off all the time)
He's been on Facebook,messenger and Instagram.
I just think it's so rude.
Would you be annoyed ?
When he texts would you reply?
Or give him the same back

[Cherrygirl3]

@Nursing2029 are you going to get rid of yours? I also suffered with this behaviour, I did get rid. Drove me nuts being ignored but still wonder if I did the right thing sometimes.....

OP, have you asked him why he does it or do you think it's better to play it cool with him?

[SandyY2K]

Stop being one of his choices.

It feels like he is spoilt for choice with girls.

He isn't fussed about you.

[Flittingabout]

I think you are not special to him and he is still looking for the one. You are one of the she will do nicely right nows I think.

I'm assuming you are both quite young to have let this go on a year and still be describing him as a player in the present tense . Take your time to find someone who can't wait to talk to you and never messes about with contact.

[peachypetite]

Raise your standards

[BeltaneBride]

Well o didn't even realise you could turn this things off, so I now shall. So don't see that as a problem, but the rest -yes.

[drrrt]

I mentioned it to him before and it turned into a argument.
I don't really pull him up on anything anymore because he just stops speaking /goes in a mood

[Misty9]

OP, you know what the right thing to do is here so I would be asking yourself - why are you staying? Is it fear of loneliness, thinking there's no one better, great sex? Whatever the reason, that's what you need to focus on. Then end it

[TwentyViginti]

@drrrt

I mentioned it to him before and it turned into a argument.
I don't really pull him up on anything anymore because he just stops speaking /goes in a mood

This is alarming. He has you right where he wants you - terrified to put yourself and your needs first, scared he'll stop speaking to you if you dare to voice your opinions of his treatment of you. This can escalate to downright abuse.

Please try to work out why you want someone in your life who clearly doesn't give a shit about you, and will only offer you crumbs. This isn't good for you. There are lots of better quality men out there, who will treat you as you should be treated. Why focus on one who causes you such misery? What do you gain from this? Wasting hours of your time watching for him online?

You are worth more than this.

[Persiaclementine]

Why are you hanging around for him, just block he doesn't like you,he knows you'll fuck him when he wants and knows you'll put up with him treating you like shit. Fuck him off

[drrrt]

@TwentyViginti the last time was feb time.
I told him exactly what I thought and he stopped speaking for 3 weeks.
Blocked me etc
Then un blocked me again.

[TwentyViginti]

So when he thought you'd been punished long enough by the silent treatment, (or he fancied a shag) he allowed you to contact him again. The relief you felt made you desperate to keep him in contact, so you never again called him out on his treatment of you, even though it makes you unhappy. Win win for him.

[Elieza]

There must be a hundred posts on MN from women who don’t say anything to their partner because he will go in a bad mood, throw a strop, give them the silent treatment for days or even weeks.

That’s how men ‘train‘ women to be like Stepford Wives. If they do something ‘wrong’ he reacts in a bad way. So they try harder the next time not to do that thing again. To be who he wants them to be, to not raise issues, to be not themselves. To only want the same things from life that he wants. Which generally ends up being a great housewife and working mother/willing sex partner whenever he wants it, while he does very little of the drudge work at home and thinks it’s fine to shout at them or lose his temper at them when he’s had a bad day. Even you are starting on that path by not arguing with him, do you see?

He just wants you to be who he wants you to be. A quiet woman who is subservient and does what suits him when it suits him, without having to be told. Who puts up with other women and god knows what all.

He’s just using you, probably for sex or something else you have that he wants. He doesn’t love you. He will never love you. He doesn’t respect you. He will never respect you.

Don’t become one if the women on here who have loved men like that because he will ruin your life. They will tell you that if you read their posts. Their lives become his to control. They are good people who have been manipulated in the guise of ‘love’ into less than they should be. Love should make you more not less of a person.

Don’t be the next. Dump. Block. Move on. You deserve better.

[Nursing2029]

The moods and not speaking to you are awful ways to behave.
That's the situation I am in, I mention it and he goes mad.
Look up narcissist- anything else seem familiar.
I know its hard i have stuck it out for four years believing he is the one.
Is there anything else ringing alarm bells?

[Nursing2029]

@Cherrygirl3
Hi
I think I will need to, this is one of his many issues.
In amongst weird weird porn, suspected sexting and narcasstic behaviour.
He is a real charmer.
Believe me you have done the right thing x

[Dontletitbeyou]

I told him exactly what I thought and he stopped speaking for 3 weeks.
Blocked me etc
Then un blocked me again.


This relationship is a game to him . You are a game to him . See if he can ‘ reel you back in ‘ when he feels like it .
If he cared about how you felt he’d reply even with a quick ‘can’t chat now , text you later’ something along those lines . He just plain can’t be arsed .
Do yourself a favour , dump him and move on

[wobblywinelover]

He sounds like a moody attention seeking manchild Narc. No many should ever make you feel like you are begging for their attention and playing silly mind games and ignoring messages to do it. You are right though OP by responding to him each time particularly after you've been blocked and unblocked you're basically giving him the green light to treat you like an option. He's got you hooked through positive intermittent reinforcement and by basically being a twit. These people can be toxically addictive, but now you know better. You already know in your heart as you've posted on here.

Time to move on from him, sounds like way too much stress to me. Good luck and stick to your guns. No going back however much he begs or hoovers, and he will, because this is what they do. The minute they think they've lost you, the mind games and messages will ramp up because he won't be able to cope with the bash to his Ego.

[drrrt]

I never know if I'm coming or going.
There's no logic to his behaviour.
One day we have really good conversations,he opens up,we have good chats.
Then this last three days there's been no conversation.
I text him at 11am
No reply
Once again been on social media.
He massively effects my self esteem.

[Opaljewel]

I would text him one last time telling him he's finished with. Why are you putting up with this? Do you think scraps of someone's time when his royal highness decides to see you, is all you're worth????

[Flittingabout]

There must be a hundred posts on MN from women who don’t say anything to their partner because he will go in a bad mood, throw a strop, give them the silent treatment for days or even weeks.

That’s how men ‘train‘ women to be like Stepford Wives. If they do something ‘wrong’ he reacts in a bad way. So they try harder the next time not to do that thing again. To be who he wants them to be, to not raise issues, to be not themselves. To only want the same things from life that he wants. Which generally ends up being a great housewife and working mother/willing sex partner whenever he wants it, while he does very little of the drudge work at home and thinks it’s fine to shout at them or lose his temper at them when he’s had a bad day.


^ this is so true.

Dump him.

You are effecting your self esteem by letting him treat you badly.

[Opaljewel]

I would advise reading this book. Women who love too much. I've seen this being recommended before

[3rdNamechange]

Waste of time , block him on everything and move on.

[Nursing2029]

@drrrt I would cut ties
I knew all this at the art of my relationship and I am now years down the line.
He will soon have you thinking it is your fault too.
I have nearly lost all confidence and got to the point where I thought this was normal behaviour.
It definitely isn't.
You sound young - that's a compliment, I would get out of this.
The guy I am seeing is 46 - used to always make a point of telling me he was chatting to pretty women, would like inappropriate things on Facebook he knew I would see. And pretty much lies thorough his teeth.
Always too busy for me.
You are worth so much more xx

[SuckingDownDarjeeling]

All these 'girls' that he's spoilt for choice with, the only ones he will be chasing are the ones who ignore him the way he ignores you. He keeps you there to come back to when he's not getting what he wants from someone else.

No matter what future you want, unless you want to be with someone who does this to you for the rest of your life, you would be much better off putting him to one side and forgetting he ever existed. He's never going to change, he's never going to think you deserve better and I'm sorry.

[drrrt]

I text him
Saying you ok? Your quite
Hope I'm not annoying you
He replied
"I'm busy "

[Trevsadick]

Why are you still texting him?