Would you be annoyed if he ignores your texts but on social media?

[drrrt]

Been on off seeing him a year.
He's a bit of a player.
He's turned his ticks off on WhatsApp so you can't see when he has read a message.
He also has he's last seen off.
I sent him a text 2 hours ago then another a hour ago.
He has ignored them.
Yet he's been online on WhatsApp (for the last two hours on and off all the time)
He's been on Facebook,messenger and Instagram.
I just think it's so rude.
Would you be annoyed ?
When he texts would you reply?
Or give him the same back

[BertiesLanding]

Sweetheart, you need therapy.

[crystalize]

Sorry you are going through a tough time. It sounds like your self worth and esteem are in tatters. Rather than making him your focus, maybe start focussing on YOU. It seems you have a lot of time on your hands if you're obsessively checking his online status. Give that time to you.

Work at valuing yourself and raising your self esteem, read online articles about Toxic and dysfunctional relationships and books about it Some I can think of are,
Women Who love too much
Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
Lundy Bancroft - Why Does he do that (to understand abusive relationships)

It's worth investing in yourself so you grow emotionally, enabling you to have more healthy relationships in the future.

[Turboshift]

OP there is no longevity in this relationship and it will never end happily for you. He is incapable of giving you the relationship you want. He doesn't respect you and you dont trust him. Stop torturing yourself and block him from your life. Stay single for a while and work on your self esteem and confidence before dating again. Try new hobbies to meet people and make friends to help with loneliness. Good luck.

[Whataloadofshite]

Dump him.

[Damnmeifyouwish]

Are you me? Oh this resonates.

Over a decade having an on off thing with a man like this. From his late 20s to 40s now. He can’t do relationships. He can’t do emotional intelligence and I actually think he’s Aspergers. Yet on some days there is this amazing carnival of a difference and it’s so lush it’s what keeps me hooked.

Except I’ve seen him for who he really is recently.

[Aussiebean]

If your goal is to be happy with someone, ask yourself if you are happy with him?

While you keep trying with him you aren’t finding someone to actually be happy with someone.

[backseatcookers]

There is nothing lonelier than being in a shit relationship, I promise.

Someone like him is not the route to happiness, he is a derailment.

I'm sorry you have had such a tough time family wise, that's awful.

Lean on your friends I'm sure they won't mind. And is there something you're really into that you can use to occupy you during lockdown?

Box sets? YouTube videos of whatever you're into? Order something online to treat yourself to and look forward to?

Once lockdown is over if you're feeling this way then I would look into some counselling, if it's too expensive then get on the waiting list for some therapy via your doctor.

Otherwise you're at risk of continuing self destructive behaviour in relationships and that would mean you'd miss out on meeting someone really lovely you could have a loving relationship with.

[Oxfordnono12]

You're right in what you are thinking.


Simple.. You can get annoyed but he's not bothered..

[Hippydoodledoo8]

Don’t waste your time checking on him. If you even feel the need to, get rid.

[MagnoliaJustice]

For goodness sake, value yourself. Don't put up with this shit. Delete his number, block him on every single social media platform and work on improving your self-esteem. You deserve better than this. Don't ever accept being second or even third best again. He couldn't make it any clearer that he doesn't give a shit about you.

[drrrt]

I know what my problem is.
I have no family left really my dad and my gran(she's gone in care home )
I have 3 friends and that's it
I'm desperate to just have someone,I just want to be happy and someone to care.

[backseatcookers]

I am annoyed that he thinks he can pick me up whenever he feels like it.

At the moment he is absolutely right.

So stop letting him, block him and move on.

[MashedSpud]

He can pick you up whenever he wants because you allow it.

He plays mind games with you and you allow it to continue.

He’ll keep using you until he throws you away because you allow it.

You’ve posted many threads about this guy. Everyone says block him, you don’t. Rinse and repeat.

[Jennabfp]

He obviously can pick you up when he wants from the sound of it. Sorry op you don't seem to be listening. Eventually you will learn but the hard way.

[drrrt]

I'm having a tough time at the minute and just needed someone.
I guess it's not him.
I am annoyed that he thinks he can pick me up whenever he feels like it.

[kenandbarbie]

Oh my god it wouldn't make me angry. It'd make me think I couldn't be arsed. Why do you care if he thinks you're rude? He's rude to you. Don't text him anymore. Forget him and move on.

To quote the old cliches:
He's just not that into you.
Don't make someone your priority when you're just their option.

[backseatcookers]

Why on EARTH are you doing this to yourself?!

I'm not asking that flippantly, I'm really asking - why are you allowing yourself to be treated this way?

You're an adult, you need to take control over your life and start making good decisions, like raising the bar you've set for relationships.

I text him
Saying you ok? Your quite
Hope I'm not annoying you

My god come on OP, this is so cringe and is just setting you up for him to be more of an arsehole to you!

You sound desperate in those messages to him but why are you desperate for attention from such a wanker?

Is it just because you want him to sort of 'choose' you? It can't actually be because you think he's an amazing person because he clearly isn't. So I wonder if you just don't want him to not 'choose' you as that would knock your confidence... when in the long run this is all knocking it so much more.

It sounds exhausting, upsetting and very immature. Can you see that?

[Closetbeanmuncher]

It's massive mind games with him

It's not any sort of mind game, he talks to you when he wants attention and no one else is giving it to him.

Now something new and exciting has popped up so he will be allover that now.

Hes deeply insecure and self absorbed man whore that needs a constant supply of validation; and you're begging for scraps of attention why????

If sloppy seconds are your thing then by all means crack on but I seriously think you need to re-evaluate your life choices.

[MarronCat1]

Er, I think I'm on the wrong thread. Can't delete it either, how crap.

[TwentyViginti]

OP is not listening. She just wants to vent while she carries on watching his WhatsApp.

[MarronCat1]

How wonderfully refreshing - someone that is actually better in real life than they make out by text! I would love that, it would make me like him even more!

But anyway OP if it's a problem for you, it's easily communicated. ''Can we text a bit more, it's just what I'm used to, it makes me happy, it means a lot to me''.

I think many men aren't into texting as much as women anyway. Women like to yap, men like to take action. I personally hate texting. I'm texted out, it bores the shit outta me. If I ever had to start dating again it would be one of the first things I laid out - ''I'm really not big into texting''.

[Aussiebean]

So why are you bothering with him?

[leolion1]

Are you actually listening to the advice you're being given?
He's not interested in you. That's not going to change. You're allowing him to treat you like dirt.