Why do I attract sleazy men? Do all women endure this or is there something about me?

[Thebebodays]

Just before lockdown I got chatting to what seemed like a polite man in a bar and we exchanged numbers. We continued to chat via WhatsApp, very normal things such as what our interests are and what we do for a living etc.

He invited me on a date and I accepted, but then he spoilt it for himself by saying I "look sexy from behind" and when we go for a date he's going to be "looking for excuses to touch me" and making continuous comments about how "sexy" I am.

Date cancelled. Blocked.

Another one that I met online the other night who seemed normal to begin with quickly descended into asking me when I last had sex and whether I've had breast surgery (I haven't - I'm not remotely busty)

Also blocked.

Do all women suffer this crap or is there something about me that screams easy?

I want to date, not be used for sex.

In particular I feel sad and angry for the sensitive, unsure young women who are struggling to navigate this especially those near the bottom of the heap who will have less choices

@JarringTho

i agree. Not even just the younger women who are influenced by this fashion for the-pervier-the better-cooler either . But yes definitely the sensitive, unsure ones will be worst affected.

Sickens me tbh, it’s almost like a kind of mass sexual corruption that seems to be happening and it’s just seen as a joke in the media. To my mind any man who wants anal sex, threesomes, etc is a complete and total creep in my book.

@LotsOf what's wrong with anal sex? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Well I think a lot of women dont like it and don’t want to do it but it’s becoming increasingly expected by some men, partly due to porn, and I believe there is a perversion aspect. Its more likely to spread disease and is often unpleasant.

But most of all I think men who choose that don’t actually like women or womens energy! I watched a programme recently on Hugh Hefner and the bunnies at the Playboy Mansion. A lot of the sleazy men tried to get the ‘bunnies’ to have anal sex to reduce chance of pregnancy. The women didn’t like it and saw it as abusive (and I agree with them), but it was also hard for them to say no in that environment.

Obviously if previous poster Blushing whoever that person is wants to do it that thats their choice. But the way this has become a more normal expectation over the last couple of decades is a red flag to me. In particular I think the men who want it specifically usually are creepy porno fans who don’t really like women at all, but want to use them and at the same time somehow “put them down”. A sweeping generalisation I know, but I genuinely believe this is the usual real motivation.

real underlying motivation, I should add.

This is hilarious. And potentially very true

Beliw is a tiny excerpt from just one of the many articles recently released about the possible consequences of anal Dec for women .

im not referring to situations where women may really really want to engage in it (which are not the majority of women) . This is about the ncreasing pressure on women to engage in anal sex , the expectation from many men that this is just part of sex that all women should be up for…

‘Women in the UK are suffering injuries and other health problems as a result of the growing popularity of anal sex among straight couples, two NHS surgeons have warned.
The consequences include incontinence and sexually transmitted infections (STIs) as well as pain and bleeding because they have experienced bodily trauma while engaging in the practice, the doctors write in an article in the British Medical Journal.’