Ex has suddenly removed me from social media, why?

[CanWeGoOutsideYet]

We've known each other since we were practically kids. There was a brief engagement in our early 20s that I called off but we agreed to stay friends which worked well as we have alot of mutual friends between us. One of my closest friends is also one of his. No problems.

I'm settled down with somebody now and have children but we'd catch up on social media when he'd get in touch which he often did.

He has recently got engaged which I thought was wonderful, I sent my congratulations and said I was genuinely pleased for him (and meant it!)

He thanked me, asked how I was, we exchanged pleasantries and that was that. There was no negative interaction whatsoever.

Now I've just realised tonight that he has deleted me from social media as he came up in my suggested friends.

I've no plans to contact him and ask what that's about but I am a bit baffled and disheartened because I thought he saw me as a friend, I did him.

Am I a bad memory? Is it disrespectful to a new partner to keep exes as friends to some people? (DH doesn't think so)

Definitely you are over invested here. It’s healthy not to have exes on social media on the whole. Let it go. Wish him genuinely well in your head.

I did see him as more than "just" a friend yes, I saw him as a very dear one. One I thought I would always be close to and so yes I did always want to have him in my life. a very dear friend is too emotionally attached to be honest in an ex. I think you subconsciously wanted to have that option of intimate closeness to turn to if you needed it. It’s like an emotional plan B. Which isn’t healthy. The emotional fall backs should be friends and not exes. Exes need to be kept out of that intimate zone or they need to be lanced.

I think he did not want to risk any problems with his new partner. And you are confused that everyone in the world is not as friendly and thoughtful as you.

The way you talk about this, it’s as if only your feelings on it are relevant. You dismiss any jealousy on the part of his fiancée as being irrational or unimportant. And you haven’t even considered that maybe HE was the one with inappropriate feelings. People have said that maybe you’re holding onto the past, but even if you’re not, maybe he is. Maybe they’ve talked about you and the twinkle in his eye or the way he mentions you is setting off something in his fiancée that makes her uncomfortable.

Either way, whatever the reason, whether it’s to do with her or not, he know where you are if he wants to talk to you, whether by Facebook or otherwise.

I deleted my ex after he contacted me recently out of respect for his partner. They had a child recently and knowing my ex the way I do, he is probably feeling put out that he is no longer getting her sole attention and so is fishing for it elsewhere. He sent a string of seemingly innocent 'hope you are doing well' type messages and after replying politely to the first I removed him. There is no need for us to be in contact.

OP, I'm sorry you feel a bit bereft at the loss of your ex/friend but I think his actions are entirely reasonable regardless of whether or not his fiancée is behind it. Time to move on.

Maybe it’s more thinking time , and greater desire for connection with people that matter to us I have definitely experienced this in the last few weeks.

@Eastie77 that is so good of you. I’ve also done that with an old ex, who was known as a bit of a womanizer. He eventually married a lovely woman, and had two beautiful boys. Then I got a couple of messages while the kids were young... things like ‘Hey, you look amazing in your latest profile pic, you haven’t changed. How’s things going? Etc. I fobbed him off but I wish I’d said directly, look this in inappropriate.

Met Ex again recently at a reunion. He was moaning that his wife had ‘got the house’ and how much of a pain it was EOW with his children. And anyway did I want a drink...

Just what every new bride wants - an ex who wants to always be in her DH’s life!

Yes the perfect comment on this thread !