Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it selfish to break a marriage up over sex?

111 replies

Winkingmermaid · 28/05/2020 15:20

I am 35 and have been married for 16 years, dh is 11 years my senior.
Our sex life has always been rubbish, we’ve gone years at times and neither of us talk about it. It wasn’t great from the start, but we were engaged within six weeks and married within a year of meeting. Retrospectively I was too young and it was too fast - I met dh on the rebound and then just couldn’t stop it.
I’m not attracted to him at all and I never have been really (awful, I know and I feel terribly guilty) but we have two dc and so I feel as though the whole thing is my fault and I should stay as it’s selfish to break a marriage up over sex.
We don’t kiss. He’s never ever ever given me oral sex because it disgusts him. When we have had sex it’s over in minutes and follows the same routine. If I stay with him I’m saying ok, I won’t ever have sex again.
But the children are happy. How selfish would I be as a mother to say this relationship is not enough? It’s not just the sex, it’s not right in other ways too, although dh probably wouldn’t say that. He’d be devastated by the end of our marriage and probably very volatile. I’ve told myself and told myself the sex doesn’t matter really but it does. It does matter.

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 29/05/2020 02:25

And the reason you don't want to sleep with him isn't because he doesn't fix you tea or help with the 'chores'. It's because he's a flaming manipulative bastard who has sucked the joy out of your life.

DKanin · 29/05/2020 02:36

OP please don't waste the rest of your life. You don't have to stay. That decision is entirely up to you.

It sounds like there's a lot more wrong than the unsatisfying sex, he sounds like a very unpleasant man.

I got married when I was slightly younger than you and my god I'm glad I didn't stick with it.

I also had an ex I ended up tiptoeing around because of his moods. It ground me into the ground.

Please walk away from this, you've got chance to live your life if you do

pinkyredrose · 29/05/2020 08:53

He's ok as long as you do what he wants? You're not allowed to go to big cities? Wtf have i just read. He's acting like your keeper. Do you 'let' him do things? What happens if you do something he doesn't like? He's massively controlling.

Daisydoesnt · 29/05/2020 09:11

Dh is ok day to day, it is just the odd flashes of temper and there are some things he won’t let me do, such as stop at a friend’s overnight or get the train after dark or go to big cities without him. Those sorts of things

OP I know you know this, but marriage is a partnership of two equals, who have equally valid viewpoints, priorities and wishes. It sounds like it’s you, and then there’s your husband who actually gets to decide what you can or can’t do.

It’s perfectly normal and healthy to disagree, or have a row if you like, but again that disagreement is two adults whose point of views are equally valid. You can’t have one partner using their bad temper or anger to dominate the wishes of the other.

I don’t mean to sound patronising but I think you have totally lost sight of this. Your marriage sounds very dysfunctional and one sided.

And I bet even your youngest will sense that there’s no love lost between the two of you. Humans - even little ones - are incredibly adept at picking up non verbal cues.

Winkingmermaid · 29/05/2020 09:16

He does have the final say - he’s ok about most things, I’m ok to go out in the evening (pre lockdown) once a week but when I’ve asked (only once as I knew it wouldn’t go down well) to stay at a friend’s afterwards as it was some distance and I didn’t want to drive back in the middle of the night it was a no.
He does what he wants, including many nights stopping away for birthdays / stag dos just whenever and I of course don’t mind.
I do have to run things past him and I know some things will be a flat no before I’ve even asked. So I don’t ask.

OP posts:
Seaweed42 · 29/05/2020 09:22

I would suggest counselling for yourself as a first step. It sounds like it's not just the sex there's a lot of control there too, that maybe you are only just starting to see. Because, as you say, you are changing from the person you were and looking towards the rest of your life.

Winkingmermaid · 29/05/2020 09:26

I’ve always been aware of it but it’s started to bother me more. It’s my fault for letting it get to this point, but it’s been gradual. Before the children it wasn’t so bad. I don’t reallt feel he should have the right to say no to a reasonable request.

OP posts:
goody2shooz · 29/05/2020 09:27

‘He’s ok about most things’ - oh this is so sad. He demands you drive home late at night rather than ‘let’ you stay with friends - but it’s ok if he goes off on overnight jollies. He’s not, or shouldn’t be, the boss of you. You’re in an abusive relationship, and it’s time to plan your escape.

goody2shooz · 29/05/2020 09:29

Sorry, posted too soon....and you wouldn’t be selfish for ending this marriage because it’s about MUCH MORE than the sex (which is grounds enough!)

Quartz2208 · 29/05/2020 09:51

I don’t think they know anything is ‘wrong’ - especially my younger dc.

Because they dont know any different. But it is wrong and it isnt a good environment for them to grow up in at all. They may not know now but trust me as they get older they will and it will affected them that they are growing up in an environment where there Dad is abusive.

They will adapt quickly and I think will thrive if you get them out to your parents

You have a huge power imbalance here

Windyatthebeach · 29/05/2020 10:04

He sounds like he acts more like your df than a dp.
Urgh.
Your dc need to see a healthy relationship between their dps.

Winkingmermaid · 29/05/2020 10:11

Can I just ask - because I still feel unsure - is it abusive of him to just flat out say no to things? It doesn’t happen often, but that’s partly because I don’t ask. But to say no to me seeing a show in London, or stopping overnight at friend’s house, that sort of thing...even though it’s infrequent. Is it abusive?

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 29/05/2020 10:15

Its not the just the fact that he says no that is abusive it is the fact that there is such a power imbalance in your relationship (in part due to age) that you ask permission and he does not.

I think its been your normal for so long you dont realise how abnormal this all is because you havent experienced balanced relationship

Winkingmermaid · 29/05/2020 10:18

Yes, maybe. It’s just how it’s always been.
It’s also things like if we are out with the children and he’s bored - so maybe they are taking too long to choose something in a shop or too long on the playground or whatever he will just say ‘I’m not standing around any longer’ and walk off.
I sometimes think what would happen if I just walked off.

OP posts:
Iwalkinmyclothing · 29/05/2020 10:24

It is never unreasonable to end a marriage or relationship in which you are not happy.

Some people will take the "it's only sex, you can't end a marriage over that" view (to be fair this doesn't seem to be one of those 'let's all sneer at people to whom sex is important' threads). But that's up to them. It's not their marriage. They aren't you.

It seems that there is so much more going on in your relationship than a lack of mutually satisfying sex, but I just wanted to emphasise that even if everything else was rosy, you would NOT BU to end the relationship over that.

Windyatthebeach · 29/05/2020 10:26

Wasn't sure about posting but stuff it..
I married a man 15 years older. Pretty much against my wishes.. He didn't want sex - uess it was ttc. He was supposed to use condoms. He didn't. Once we had a dc I accepted this was my life.. After 3 dc and zero sex life I tried 'inviting' him to bed early. He looked puzzled and said he would never get to sleep at 9pm...he had no intention of ever being a husband.

I had an affair. Not proud but not ashamed. I felt like a human being again.
I spent 2 years planning my exit.
I dumped om on the day I moved out. I had told 'd' h I had been cheating as he didn't believe I was leaving. It was the only way he would have 'allowed' me to end our marriage... He made my life hell for years.
Worth it. Dc went nc with him, I met a lovely man and we have a dc..
Oh and when I moved out I heard my exh had had a fling with my ll (after we split).
Keith...
Just a thought op

OtterBe4 · 29/05/2020 10:26

It sounds as if he deliberately targeted a young impressionable girl, love bombed her and set himself up with a nice wee wife/housekeeper.
He’s a controlling nasty piece of work, leave and do what you want without him issuing orders.
Men like him wouldn’t be with a woman his own age, a teenager is easier to control and impress, at least he went with a 19 yr old; keeping it legal 🙄

rosecreakybex · 29/05/2020 10:37

He's sexist and racist, you have nothing in common.... and to top it all off, the sex is shit.

The sex is a symptom of what a twat he is, he knows it's bad and he just doesn't care. Anyone can get good at sex if they want to. Why would he not want to pleasure you?

I can't believe you have to ask to be honest.

In addition, my parents stayed together for us kids until we were young adults and both my sister and I really struggle with relationships having never seen what a good one looks like.

Imagine you leave your husband and meet a wonderful man who your kids can watch adore you the way he should

Daisydoesnt · 29/05/2020 10:48

I don’t reallt feel he should have the right to say no to a reasonable request

OP you are an autonomous being. You are an adult. You are a person in your own right. YOU are in charge of you, nobody else.

This man is meant to be your husband; your biggest supporter, your cheerleader, your equal. He isn't your boss (or god forbid, your parent).

Your husband sounds awful and you have completely lost sight of what's normal. I am sorry for you.

Persiaclementine · 29/05/2020 11:17

I stuck around in a dead relationship for 8 years I knew I didnt want to be with him from about 9 months in but I was young and stupid. Finally split 2 years ago and now I'm with the most fantastic man and I have great sex often . Life is so much better. Leave him

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 29/05/2020 12:40

I don’t think they know anything is ‘wrong’ - especially my younger dc.

This is really worrying surely? That they think this is normal & will go out into the world looking for the same kind of relationship Sad

There are so many red flags in what you have written about your husband & I think you are starting to see them Flowers

I think www.freedomprogramme.co.uk would be a great help to you

Stegasaurusmum · 29/05/2020 12:42

I'm currently separating from my DH with children the same age, for reasons that on paper are much less 'worthy' than yours. We met at 24, I'm in my 40s now and feel like a totally different person.
I'm just not happy and haven't been, on and off, for 5 or 6 years. I think I settled for him in a way because I just found it easier than breaking up with him when I first had doubts, I had counselling recently and that brought up that I tend to people please to keep the peace, mainly due to my dad and his temper... Never hit us or my mum, but anger, control, emotionally distant... We spent most of our childhood walking on eggshells around him. Still do. Sounds very like your husband... Its affected all my relationships with men, I see that now.
DHs parents had screaming arguments, his dad would leave everything up to his mum to do and was silent, uncommunicative... DH is very similar, he won't talk about emotions, left me to cope with everything.
Our parents definitely influence our relationships for better or worse.
All of that definitely affected me and even though my DH is the calmest and most placid man generally, I certainly settled because I knew that to end things (lots of shared friends, lived together in a shared house, etc etc) was going to upset everyone.

Now 2 children and 18 years later, I don't regret the years, the children, the things we achieved, but I do sometimes wish this had come to a head earlier and I'd considered leaving with more insight into it then, because its not as difficult as I thought it would be. Yes he's devastated, but it won't last forever. Yes the children will be upset, but he will see them often, they will hopefully have a more engaged and happier parent who drinks less and can meet someone wonderful who loves him and them. The money side of things and the house are all difficult but will be OK.

When I realised those things, the relief I felt was massive. Telling him was horrible, I assumed he'd get nasty as he's got a bit of a ruthless streak, but he admitted too he'd not been happy for years either and the sex I was putting myself through to keep him happy wasn't really something he always wanted either.

Thing is all the reasons didn't seem enough. We were still having sex, to the outside world we have the best life, beautiful house, healthy children, money... But it wasn't enough. I met someone who I used as an escape from it all and who showed me that it didn't have yo be lie this... I am trying to put it right now by leaving and doing it as calmly as possible.
I guess in my blethering way I'm trying to say people leave for lesser reasons. It's hard, but we are taking it one step at a time and coping ok.

Happynow001 · 29/05/2020 16:00

He does have the final say - he’s ok about most things, I’m ok to go out in the evening (pre lockdown) once a week but when I’ve asked (only once as I knew it wouldn’t go down well) to stay at a friend’s afterwards as it was some distance and I didn’t want to drive back in the middle of the night it was a no.
He does what he wants,

This is so sad OP and its absolutely not right. You really never had a chance, with someone like this, to ever be an equal partner - which you should be - in an adult relationship. You are in a Master/Slave relationship and I don't see how that can ever change if you are unable to get free of him.

I think you are beginning to see this is wrong because here you are in a forum asking questions about your life. These (below) from your earlier posts:

But my marriage is deeply lacking and I suppose lockdown hasn’t highlighted this because I am incredibly lonely.

I don’t like his attitudes towards certain things (sexist and racist) and I must feel we’ve nothing in common

I am not who I was when I met him.

Have you taken any advice to your options? Women's Aid? or benefits if/when you leave, eg: www.entitledto.co.uk.

You have so many years ahead of you. Please don't let them be like this.

Cloudfrost · 29/05/2020 16:25

You poor thing, you are definitely in an abusive unequal relationship x he took advantage of your inexperience at 19 yrs old and made sure he got himself an obedient wife who will not give him any hassle. Its not how life should be like

Aelthda82 · 29/05/2020 20:16

You are so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Can you honestly see yourself spending it with this person? He doesn’t sound happy in himself to behave like this. There’s obviously deep-rooted insecurities there.