Blown it

[Willowmartha1]

Gutted, met the man that I had met a couple of times before lockdown for a socially distanced walk today with my daughter who he has already met and liked and as the walk was quite long she got fed up and started to moan a bit (she is asd) he then got knocky and annoyed and we headed back. Thought it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship when we first met now it looks like it's all over before it's really begun. Thinks he's realised that he's better off with someone who doesn't have children.

Can I just clear things up as a couple of posters here seem to think they know everything about my life and they know nothing !!

It was my first 'date' in seven years I most certainly do not make a habit of having a succession of men through by door and my daughter has never been subjected to anything of the sort. It was a simple Sunday afternoon, socially distanced walk with a friend it wasn't a date, I had hoped it might develop into something more but not anymore. I find the hints from a certain poster that I have exposed my child to a sex abuser abhorrent actually.

In hindsight I wouldn't/shouldn't have taken her with me but it's too late now, I'm merely disappointed that he's not the man I thought he was.

@rosecreakybex (no we aren't the same person everyone !!) thanks for your sensible and understanding response. We walked in silence for a bit as it was tense and awkward and that's when he said about 'be nice if someone spoke to me'. Me and my daughter are pretty shy so I feel it was a dig at us both, by his tone he most certainly wasn't joking !

@isthisnothing thanks for the nice response ! Yes I thought it odd about the comment he made about his son being 17, presumably so he doesn't have to put up with tantrums anymore. I got the impression he felt I should have disciplined my daughter but she is ASD and telling her off makes her ten times worse, I can't help feeling her was having a dig at the way I handled the situation.

@Chandleristhebestfriend you really are a piece of work !! I didn't 'shove' my daughter in front of him as you so delightfully put it.

@nikhedonia sorry where did I mention I have had multiple partners ??? Chance would be a fine thing it was my first date in seven years!!

you really are a piece of work !! I didn't 'shove' my daughter in front of him as you so delightfully put it.

A piece of work in what way? What does that mean?

I never said you shoved your child in front of him. My comment was a response to another poster who said that children should be used early on in dating to test if the man can cope with them.

@Willowmartha1 where did I say you did?!

I find the hints from a certain poster that I have exposed my child to a sex abuser abhorrent actually.

I take it from your PA response here that I'm that 'certain poster'.

If you read through how the thread developed, the conversation was around why parents tend to avoid introducing their children to new partners early on.

I didn't ever infer that you had exposed your child to a sex abuser.

You did nothing wrong OP. I think much better to find out at this early stage that he can't accept your daughter being around.

This is MN though, you should be practically down the aisle before introducing a man to your children. Which doesn't work in the real world as you are far too invested in the relationship by then. It was also said nowhere that you had a string of men. But posters love to make up their own stuff as facts.

There’s a middle ground between down the aisle and date 5! Come on now!

was also said nowhere that you had a string of men.

You're right. No one suggested the OP had a string of men

I'm inferred from several posts that people we're imagining that people who introduce partners early on involved a string of men... I think the word "procession" was used. Not directly toward OP but in relation to her and others introducing men early on.

As it turns out this has happened once in 7 years for OP, twice in 3 years for me, and I'm sure many others have had similar experiences.

Sorry this guy didn't work out OP but you've really done nothing wrong. Thank you, next!

I'm sure there are women out there who do have a string of men through the door but this would very much be the exception rather than the rule and it's important not to jump to conclusions- most of us are just doing our best for our families

You need to date a lot more.

It seems like you had built him up in your head to way way more than he is, which is actually the cause of your angst. If you were used to dating a ditching you would have found this easier.

If by blown it you mean he has blown it, you are correct

This made me laugh. Clearly he isnt ready for children

jet it’s mentioned multiple times that the man has already produced a kid.

Hope you are taking your DD out for lots of walks anyway OP. Your post made it sounds like she's in a lot.

Elec - from his loins?