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Relationships

Husband debts

84 replies

Raver84 · 16/05/2020 19:52

I've just found out my husband has run up 4k or even more debt. This has happened so many time in our marriage of 15 years. The last time it was 10k and we very nearly separated.
He never has any reason for the debt, he says there is no one else and there is no secret gambling problem. We both earn enough to cover our outgoing and money left over.
I so angry and upset. I can't keep doing this. None of this money goes on me. I hardley spend anything other than bills.
Where do I go from here. I have 4 children. 11 down to 3. We own the house together.
I don't know where to start.
Has anyone else been through similar?

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Raver84 · 17/05/2020 16:55

Thanks again. I'm going to contact a solicitor this week and see what I can do about moving out, I do t want to walk away from any equity in the house as it will secure mine and the girls future. I've said to him either he moves out but continues to pay soemthing towards the house or I will move into rented and he will have to pay me a monthly amount until the house is sold. I'm hoping he will go as it makes more sense for one of us to move out than 5. But he won't.

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Raver84 · 17/05/2020 16:56

It's good to know other have come out of this the other side. Thanks for sharing this with me it has given me hope and strength that I can make the next steps.

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ticktackted · 17/05/2020 17:25

I really do wish you so much luck for the future, OP. It's tough now, but it'll be so worth it. You'll know about every penny. You'll have choices and control. You'll be able to raise your kids with an understanding about money and budgeting that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. You'll be free

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adreamofspring · 17/05/2020 21:00

You sound so together and strong OP. I’d be going crazy trying to work out where the money went and be filled with rage at the lack of care for his 4 children.
Good luck with the solicitor this week and your steps towards freedom.

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FourDecades · 18/05/2020 03:11

In the meantime you can start getting together paperwork... pensions, p60, mortgage, savings etc. These will all be needed if you do divorce.

Have you much equity in the house? Does he have a pension?

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Itsjustmee · 18/05/2020 04:35

You might have to use the equity to pay your rent
UC isn’t as generous as Tax Credits with regards to savings . So you want to be absolutely sure of what you will get in terms of benefit/ UC and any savings you may have from the equity .

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TheTiaraManager · 18/05/2020 22:56

HMad yk7 are getting legal advice. As hard as it may be do not move out. Do not make it easy for him! Why should he get to live in your home while you & 4DC move out.

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TheTiaraManager · 18/05/2020 23:48

That should say "glad you are getting"

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Elieza · 19/05/2020 10:22

He probably thinks if he stays in the house he will get it as he’s the working man and she’s paid buttons towards it over the years so I’m keeping the house I paid for....

If so he’s completely deluded and in for a shock!
And I hope his kids can forgive their selfish farm they for uprooting them (if it comes to that) all when he could have gone himself and out their needs first. Typical selfish idiot.