What puts you off an online dating profile

[singlemum81]

Top of the list for me is selfies with tops off or drinking cans of beer

Can someone copy and paste (or invent) what a good profile looks like?

With so many can't be this and that's, I'm curious as to what a good profile would say.

@PrawnSacrifice

Copy and past yours on here and we'll critique it

A decent picture of the guy smiling is good. Not too many selfies. Definitely no fish pics, no one wants to date Captain Birdseye. No pics with other women. A guy I met OLD did this and captioned the pic as "my sisters and I". Two of the women in the pic looked like him but one didnt. Turned out it was his ex. Why he did this, I'll never understand.

As for what a good profile says, I guess for me it would be something that tells me, about his personality or lifestyle. If he likes reading, put that and maybe give examples of genres and authors. Same with films/ music. If he is sporty, again talk about it. If he enjoys cooking, sure talk about it.

Honesty is a big one, with regards to stating his correct age, what he is looking for, and definitely none of the sexist bullshit of looking for women 20 years younger.

No referring to women as princess or any of those other icky terms. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what makes a good profile, but if the person is sound and genuine, it should come across in his words.

Reading your post @Soen has just reminded me of another annoying thing in profiles! Not necessarily one that would put me off, but something that might spoil a guy’s chances:

‘The kiddo in the photos is my [niece/godson/whatever]’

I get that maybe guys are trying to show they are good with kids, but not everyone will read the disclaimer and might just swipe them away if, say, their preference was for someone with no kids. So basically, no ambiguous photos. Like a photo may be with his sisters (genuine or not!) but many people will just see him photographed with women and lose interest.

Oh god, I've found my people

I may have already posted this up thread but I truly hope that men don't read this and don't change their styles.
Their bad profiles are what helps to keep us safe.
Keep waving those red flags men.

I may have already posted this up thread but I truly hope that men don't read this and don't change their styles.
Their bad profiles are what helps to keep us safe.
Keep waving those red flags men

Totally agree!

I liked profiles from men who talked about what they had to offer and what they were interested in rather than specifying a list of requirements they expected in a woman.

I immediately disregarded men who had photos of themselves with children (had their mothers consented? Had the children?) Or other women (seemed to be a way of saying "look, this is the sort of woman I can attract" and had they consented to their photo being used?)

I never responded to messages from, or contacted, men whose upper age limit in a woman was younger than them, even if I was in that age range. Or men who stated a lower age limit of 18. What 18 year old is genuinely going to want to contact a 50 year old man?

I looked for a bit of humility and self deprecation without a 'woe is me' element. And just a profile that made me smile. Which will be different for everyone.

A good profile tells me things about them.
What they are into.
Hobbies.
What they do with their time.
What they do for a living (I do like a tradesman)
If they have kids and their ages - very important to me!!
I want to see a nice smiley picture as the profile pic and others of the person. I do not want to see scenery pics - WTF is that all about?
A bit about your travels.
As a PP said, if they are genuine it tends to come across.

Back when I was online dating I got fed up with 99% of my messages just saying "hi", so I set my message preferences to require a minimum of 200 characters before they'd send (this was on POF). From then on 99% of my messages read "hi" followed by 198 asterisks to fill up the character limit. Shockingly, I did not reply.

I also once went on a date with a guy who talked non stop about how much weight he'd lost and how he wished "all those bitches from school could see him now". I didn't see him again, but over the next year he messaged me about once a week on POF asking me out and pretending not to remember that we'd already been on a date. After about a year of me not replying he finally messaged me saying "fine, if you won't go out with me can you at least set me up with one of your doctor friends?" (I was a med student at the time).

I can't remember much about my partner's profile now tbh, but I'm pretty sure it came across as intelligent, family orientated, good natured, and normal (which is how he turned out to be in real life). It also included a picture of a cake decorated to look like his face, which after scrolling past a dozen topless mirror selfies it was a refreshing change.

And..... tactile!!

So you like a good grope and continually touching me with the caveat that you are TACTILE.
Hell no.

It also included a picture of a cake decorated to look like his face, which after scrolling past a dozen topless mirror selfies it was a refreshing change.

Yep. That's the sort of thing I'd be 'attracted' to too.

Glad you found a good one!

Group photos, holding fish, with children, drinking photos, stupid halloween photos, dark unclear photos, putting his hieght in bio, too deep or too random blurb.

Toilet selfie, blazing selfie, topless even if swimming selfie..just tacky

We shouldnt give out our secrets.. now they will wise up

Oh god I’ve seen that Auschwitz profile pic too, unbelievable!

Like others, I’m tempted to fire up Tinder again just for the poops and giggles.

LOL @TigerDater I just had a look through on POF - I hid my profile on there well over a year ago.

This guy ticks literally every box for 'avoid'
'Fun loving criminal, Clyde seeks Bonnie.
Lets complement and not complicate one anothers lives.
Looking to meet like minded woman who is as beautiful on the inside as out.
For hilarious banter.'

And another one! Very weird..
Happy happy happy, walking walking walking. fun photography fu photography, happy happy happy happy walking walking walking happy happy, being healthy being healthy walking walking walking happy happy happy..... have a happy day!

WTAF?????

Just thought of another:
When the only text is their height, like
6’1

Or, when they put “6’1 apparently that’s important on here”. Don’t act like you don’t realise this is important to a lot of women!!

I don't like it when men refer to themselves as working class and it's a big deal.

I think the concept of class is out dated and it depends how you define it. I've got qualifications but I'm not on a great salary. I've no idea what class I am.

Class, to me at least, is about how you treat people.

Then there's the perfectly composed first message. The type of essay that contains everything a woman wants to hear 😂

Everyone loves a copied and pasted load of BS 🙄

Mmm I had a lucky streak two years ago when two OLD men had nothing in their profile about their height but when I met each of them they were in fact 6’1”

Back when I was online dating I got fed up with 99% of my messages just saying "hi", so I set my message preferences to require a minimum of 200 characters before they'd send (this was on POF). From then on 99% of my messages read "hi" followed by 198 asterisks to fill up the character limit. Shockingly, I did not reply

This has got me properly laughing 😂

I chose not to reply to a message from a man whose profile stated he “he would like to meet a woman who can keep her knickers on instead of slutting around town”.

However, I do have to thank him as I hadn’t logged in for ages as I had decided OLD was a waste of time. Logging in sent my profile back to the first few pages rather than miles back and as a result I received a message from my now lovely husband. If it wasn’t for Mr Misogynist I would still be single.

Why ever didn't you reply to that charming man?

instead of slutting around town

I wish I’d paid more attention when my ex bf told me his ex wife was a bit of a ‘slag’ sleeping with all his friends But at the time we were just tentative online ‘friends’and I had nil interest in him as a prospective partner and had just buried it in amongst all other conversations.
He presented so well in so many respects and appeared to have a high eq and almost certainly made a good impression of having compassion and empathy just badly hurt so I must’ve subconsciously excused that language.
God I wished I’d listened harder before I let him almost destroy me.

Indeed plenty of dross out there!
But with the exception of topless photo’s and dead fish pretty much everything posted here applies to female profiles as well - more so filters and definitely ‘kids are my world’ and ‘I wanted to be treated like a princess’