new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

Exactly @wishfuldreamer it's very easy to be judgy when they have their family all together isn't it. I'd go without the sex, but the companionship of a 5 year relationship is what I'm missing the most. I can go into my ex husband's house to drop off kids, and can go to my friend's bathroom if I go to a bbq, but I can't have my fiance in the house!

Don't get me wrong, I miss the sex, but it's the companionship I miss more. Eating dinner together, watching and laughing at a tv show together, waking up next to him and him bringing me a cup of tea... the simple things.

Anyone who judges live apart couples isn't worth wasting energy on.

Totally agree - these childish insinuations that this is just about sex are really pathetic.

I’ve written to my MP asking him to explain the scientific rationale that allows me to have many other people pass through my house to visit the loo, but not allow my low risk partner to visit properly. I really think we need to start getting our voice heard on this beyond Mumsnet.

In the meantime, a more immediate concern is the fact that we weather is due to cool down - what do we do if we can’t meet in the garden? Visit car showrooms?!

@wishfuldreamer exactly! I was talking to my mum about this earlier and she seemed to believe that if you don't live with one another, you are basically single! .
It's such a strange attitude to have. I don't live with my partner but it doesn't make me less committed to him!

I don't live with my partner but it doesn't make me less committed to him!

And the number of people who post on mumsnet about cheating spouses just shows living together doesn't necessarily equate to commitment...

what do we do if we can’t meet in the garden?

I've been thinking this too! It's just a massive mess.

Fentyplenty half imagining going to a sales room to look at cars and seeing CLA couples scuttling around out of the corner of your eye

But in all seriousness, if anyone has any ideas of what we can do to speak up about this please count me in.

For my own sanity I have now officially broken the stay away from partner 3 times. Not once did we actually fuck, messed about yes.

Having that closeness for those nights is getting me through. After the first time I freaked out so much down the phone to my shrink. I was told over and over I have to put my mh first, when I let it go I am a danger to myself and others. I have spoke to mh team a lot and have said basically deal with the charges if they happen.

Although thankfully I have a good mh team. My psychiatrist could section me on his word alone thanks to a change.

And of the masks were that effective we could wear them whilst in the company of the partner. Walk in door, strip shower, face mask, doggy.

Have spare masks to replace them when they get wet.

I’ve been at home and hospital and PPE needed. I still was able to have some physical comfort.

My partner has stayed over now about 4 times and will continue to do so. MH and relationships are more important than anything. As long as precautions are being followed and being low risk is still an option then I don't see police bursting into someone's bedroom for having sex with your partner. Prostitutes are still working !!

I wonder what DH is classed as. He’s in the armed forces and is currently working away during the week, staying in the mess. But comes home Friday - Monday.

So where does he “live” then? Seeing as he pays for our married quarters and this is his home!

Well...
It's reached international news.
Here is a link in English, but I've seen it in my national news.

www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-britain-sexban/uk-government-faces-mockery-over-coronavirus-sex-ban-idUSKBN2390SW

Thanks @Lweji, I was going to say I wonder what the rules are in other countries, does anyone know? As every country is facing the same problem (although England has dealt with it the worst).

I personally was planning to see my boyfriend throughout lockdown, (I never like being told what to do!) except we both became badly ill at the very beginning with COVID and he still hasn't recovered.

I've met him once socially distanced and it was good mixed with absolutely horrible.

We are on a different page now about how to move forward. I would do anything to be with him and see him. But we both have children who also live in other households- who then mix with others etc, the spread of contamination would never end.

I keep on asking when will he feel safe enough to mingle, but he also lives with elderly parents so understandably doesn't want to take any risks.

I even said about moving in with me, but we live 70 miles apart so he didn't want to be so far away from his children who he currently sees every day.

Feeling sad, as what was a challenging but manageable relationship, is now seeming completely impossible to do anything except FaceTime calls.

Hang on but you have both had the virus ?

Just see him as you won’t get it again - at least not till it mutates .if you can’t see each other now how will you ever ?

If you've both had it, he is still recovering but seeing his children every day, but you're now fine, how are you a risk?

The Netherlands has their ‘sex buddy’ thing. In Denmark, there were never legal rules, just recommendations which people followed. I think in Australia you were always allowed to see a partner. I assume France, Spain and Italy banned it implicitly as they had very strict rules about leaving your home. Don’t know what they’ve been since their lockdowns eased up.

Yes that's true- we have both had it - although we got it back in March before you could get tested.

We got it really badly and he's still not fully recovered although hopefully will be soon.

I think he said he's worried about the risk of him getting anything else while his immune system is low. Or accidentally carrying the virus back into the house where it could get his parents.

He's seeing his children at a distance too and outside only to be on the safe side.

I totally want him to get better and keep safe. I just really don't know how the situation will ever change though as the virus isn't going away. And my children are mingling with others so I'll never be 100% germ free.

Sounds like he has bad anxiety ( can he get some counselling maybe ?

In Portugal there are no such specific rules about how many people and who can sleep where.

People have been sharing those news from the UK in disbelief. Really. Two people I know have actually asked if this was true.

But then test and trace seems to be working well.

Hmm thanks, I guess if other countries aren't making that rule there's less obligation on us to follow it here?

I think other countries having less restriction is partly a reflection on them having better control of the virus generally, but also shows that us essentially having a household that lives across more than one home is not a significant risk (in comparison with households who live in the one home).

@firebrand123 I totally agree with you on this > Don't get me wrong, I miss the sex, but it's the companionship I miss more. Eating dinner together, watching and laughing at a tv show together, waking up next to him and him bringing me a cup of tea... the simple things.

I'd take the snuggling on the sofa and laughing at a programme over the sex (I do miss the sex). You are so right it's definitely the companionship.

Also agree about the other countries and their restrictions = getting it right. The UK have made a mockery out of this situation.

It’s criminal surely - surely some judge or something will say it’s contrary to human rights ??

What if your partner moves in with you for a week for eg - is that allowed ?

@Sunnydays123456 Technically no it isn't, any moves are supposed to be permanent unless someone is sheltering for issues in their own home.