new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

I've just been reading legal types discussing the legislation on Twitter. Seems it's a complete and utter mess. Have a look at @GeorgePeretzQC and @davidallengreen, amongst others.

It's always been a mess as far as I'm concerned. The original regs said outside gatherings of 'more than two people who do not live in the same household' were not permitted - implying that two people from different households could meet in a socially distanced fashion, even if that's not what the guidelines said.

Worth following @adamwagner1 too, Firebrand, if you're interested in the human rights implications.

Thanks Wishful, I've followed him now. It's a shambles, surely none of it would stand up to legal challenge. It's also scary, how easy it is for the government to introduce this legislation without any real scrutiny and challenge.

Just get your partner to wear a workman’s outfit !

It's the magic of legal regulations...no scrutiny. Unfortunately, we have the Blair administration to thank for that little shift in the way public law works...

Maybe now that the amended legislation has made tabloid news we might see journalists asking at the daily briefing about it?

Various parts of legislation has been getting amended for the last couple of months. No one seems to be really reporting it.

No because it applies to so few of us. The rest of the world is cosied up with their partners expecting a baby boom

This is ridiculous. Lockdown is being relaxed. Kids are at school. People are in work. Shops are opening. But you can't have a partner you love and trust in your home?

We waited for weeks before we so much as held hands to protect each other and our families. He can go in his ex wife's house but not mine?

I'm also angry about these 'regulations'. I don't want to go to fucking Primark, I want to just see my partner.

Two scenarios:

Couple 1)One partner is a keyworker, working outside of the home, the other is WFH. They have 2 kids going into day care for keyworkers. They take it in turns to go supermarket shopping each week.

Couple 2)One partner works solely on their own in an office with no contact other than one supermarket shop per week. The other WFH, also no contact other than going to the supermarket.

The only difference with the above scenarios is Couple 1 happen to live in the same home together, but Couple 2 live apart. So, for Couple 1 it is legal to have sex with each other despite the fact they are at more risk of the virus due to one of them being a front line worker.

My situation corresponds with Couple 2, but we are long distance. There is no way we can move in together, for a number of reasons (mainly work). Either way, I see we are no different to Couple 1 except their risk is higher and we live separately. Therefore, we are making the decision to go ahead and view our 2 separate homes as one home, but with a 2 hour drive in between . Screw it. If I get fined £100 for having sex with my partner, they can go for it. I'll not pay the fine, tell them 'it is time to move on from this' and say I was acting on my instincts, as Cummings did!

I'm not going to a beach or hauling myself off Durdle Door, I just want/need the physical contact from the person I love.

I have a work colleague that is in the same Microsoft Teams meetings as me. I know his girlfriend and it's a relatively new relationship - she occasionally appears in the meetings (also a work colleague but different area). Just before lockdown was announced, they agreed she should move in with him. I'd say that they are finding it tough because their relationship was NOT at the "moving in permanently" stage.

Is this rule only in England ? And how is anyone going to know if you had your partner over or not ? Unless you have been reported by nosy neighbours

Tbh even though it’s now a criminal offence and one day I might decide to get another job that needs a clean record.

I really don’t care. If either of our neighbours are stupid enough to get involved, I will change name and get test case help from here.

Not because of being an anarchy or whatever. Just because it makes no bloody sense. Can have the nanny, cleaner, carer, repair person etc all in your house. Your kid can go to school with all these people going in and out at home. Parents popping off to primark or whatever. But to have a shag in the middle of the day with your partner, it’s illegal?

And what when the household bubbles start, swingers can get more action and we cannot?

And to us risk takers, it adds to the excitement and more role play 😝

@bellinisurge I totally understand re: your colleague and his girlfriend. I have a friend who moved in with her boyfriend at the beginning of lockdown (they've been together for just under a year) and she's told me she is finding it hard. Their relationship is now at breaking point so she's moving back to her flat this weekend. She thought they would be in lockdown for only 3 weeks, I did say to her in the beginning that it would probably be much longer!

All these people who blithely think couples who live apart should have just shacked up, it isn't as easy as that at all!

One night stands with multiple virtual strangers shouldn't be encouraged at all, but partners seeing each other or not, should be a personal decision, not under regulations.

I understand what the gov is saying but people are breaking rules all the time anyway. Family members not just partners going over each other's houses etc

How would they find out anyway ? Xx

The fine is worth it to maintain my relationship. The government are letting us decide the risks and make our own decisions.

Just as there's hope that lockdown is easing, something like this gets introduced putting any hopes a million miles away. I don't need to touch my friends or family. It'd be nice, but I can live without it. An intimate relationship is completely different. The clue being in its name.

I'm really beginning to wonder if seeing partners will be banned the rest of this year. The idea that cinemas, bars, hairdressers and travel will all be sanctioned by July, but you'll still not be legally allowed to see your partner is absurd. Surely couples are quite a big part of the audience that go to cinemas, restaurants etc. anyway. These rules are becoming more dystopian by the day.

It’s becoming more and more ridiculous that I’ve had to “move in” with DP despite ya both living alone, and wfh! I still come back to my empty house quite a bit, it’s no risk at all!

The idea that cinemas, bars, hairdressers and travel will all be sanctioned by July

I was taking to my boyfriend about travel being allowed and said that's all very well for couples and families who live together, but a bit hard to go away with someone if I have to stay 2 metres from them. He said we could just pretend we live together

Usually i am quite happy to take some holidays alone, and enjoy them as much as a trip with my boyfriend or a friend. Right now though, after enforced extended alone time, it's the last thing I want to do. Same with restaurants, usually happy to eat out alone, but really don't fancy doing it if I can't do it with my boyfriend - seeing others eating with people would just upset me I think.

Here's a scenario I'd like to put to the govt as it's ludicrous

Couple who live apart have holiday booked as flights are resuming.
They are crammed onto Ryanair seats less than 20cm apart and then share a room at a hotel but then come home but still have to keep 2m apart!

There's so much that's ludicrous about all of this!

I've been reading on Twitter that police have been saying they effectively can't enforce the no sex/ meeting in the home thing anyway, so it's useless.

I've been so up and down with my mood and stress levels about all of this. I've now met up with my DP twice outdoors, mostly at 1-2m distance apart from a couple of quick hugs each time, but it just sucks. I'm getting reallllllllly close to just telling him to come over and stay one night when my kids aren't here.

Firebrand...for your own mental health do your own risk assessments.

Was hoping if we could get enough support together we could get CLA's (couples living apart) heard for the government to have to acknowledge. Everyone on here is being sensible with their decisions imo.

Pretty disheartened to see on another thread some are seeing us as desperate to risk lives for a shag

@DancingintheSpoonlight I try to do that, but I get torn between knowing the risk of DP coming here is almost no greater than if he lived here (he lives in a share house but it's shared kitchen only and he cleans everything before he touches it, and doesn't socialise with others who live there) and the "what if".... what if I did catch it from him.... my brain gets caught in a loop!!! But I'm edging towards needing to take the chance as I'm really struggling to maintain our relationship in these conditions, and I'd be devastated if I lost him because of this.

@DancingintheSpoonlight - i've seen that attitude before with regards to this. There's a weird conservative faction that feel that if you don't live together, it isn't a 'real' relationship and so not about love/partnership but just about sex. It's a weird way of seeing both relationships and sex, if you ask me. i can only assume they've not had sex for all of lockdown, because it's not important during a pandemic, and could obviously live without it...?