new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

I've sent a question to the daily briefing on gov.uk....I think this type of relationship has just been totally overlooked. They mention families, friends, work, school and even bloody shopping, but not partners. We had some time off booked together which we've now moved 4 weeks away, but I'm not too optimistic that we'll get to spend that together either 🙄

I have submitted several questions about this with various different wordings and none have been chosen so far. If Scotland announces something allowing partners to meet, following Nicola Sturgeon mentioning it, then I think I will follow that rule. If no government announces anything soon we will be doing our own risk assessment

My partner and I don't live together and he is still working (postman) we aren't seeing each other apart from sitting in my garden having a coffee 2m apart. He's adamant that the situation is serious and that he doesn't want to potentially connect me with all his work colleagues etc. He's got 2 weeks off though in June and really I thought that by then the rules would have been relaxed and we would be able to spend that time together. He though is very - let's wait and see what the situation looks like - I thought that I only had to hold on until mid-June, now I feel that if we wait until it's ok to meet properly it will be more like September.

I've also asked a question, maybe if enough do it they might have to give it more thought

Broke the rules two weekends ago for a night. Then last weekend for a night and going up again tomorrow just for the night. He's been isolated at home - lives on his own - no contact with other humans apart from socially distanced shopping as not allowed to work. I have my 3 adult kids at home but they aren't going anywhere other than for a run together round the local fields. I'm working full time still but in my own office with rare human contact at least 2m away. We are both really low risk to ourselves and others so decided the benefit to the mental health of both of us was more important.

I'm really fed up too even more so now after Drakeford's announcement today, what a waste of time that was.

Still absolutely no indication of when anyone can travel between England and Wales which has put my partner and I in an impossible situation. We've not seen each other for 12 weeks and looks like it could still be months away before we can. They're determined to keep the border closed as long as possible.

I'm pleased for those of you who are seeing your partners as it seems like most of you are but for some of us it's just impossible. It's so frustrating and upsetting

chickenorfish we're the same 😩 Dp in Wales, I'm England, and like you feeling that it's going to be many weeks before the border opens up. I do actually work in Wales, so could 'pop over the border' (although work actually closed 🤣) but not ideal (especially as I don't drive) I think partners in different parts of the UK may well be the last of the last sadly 😢

I'm reaching the end of my tether now. I spoke to my bf again about seeing me on my birthday and he says he can't till it's 'allowed' and he would but his brother will go ballistic if he does. Meanwhile his brother is being regularly picked up in the car by their sister I'm really not sure if this is the end of the road 'cos his brother could potentially stop him seeing me indefinitely. And if he's so weak he'll just bow down to that (even if the rules are relaxed) what the hell is the point?

@bramblebear92 the brother is such a hypocrite!

@Medstudent12 His brother is severely autistic (though perfectly fine to be left alone.) Not sure if this is why, but he's always been one rule for him, another rule for everyone else. Still incredibly frustrating though. It's been almost four months. I'm just fed up at this point. I wouldn't break SD or the rules for any other purpose. Aside from this have stuck to everything 100%. But I am of the view that you need to see your partner at least occasionally, for it to be a relationship.

I went to see my bf for 1 night this week. It was amazing, and I hope that I can go again next week.

I haven't seen my partner since a week before lockdown... he lives 2 hours away and he is shielding so I have no idea when I'll see him again!! He is being very strict about not leaving the house.

He has a 6 year old son who is going between his and his ex's home - she is still working and seeing her boyfriend who is also working... his son is going back to school next week so maybe he will change his mind about the risk I could pose to his health (I'm working from home and only socially distance shop rarely).

Getting fed up now to be honest :-(

@Bramblebear92 ah I suppose that is tricky. But if the brother is breaking the rules then he shouldn’t be able to dictate what your partner does.

@MenopausalMrs oh that’s so tricky. The whole shielding element makes it so hard. Hopefully things get better for you soon.

Hello again @Medstudent12! Thanks for pointing me to this thread. Still no change out there...

MenopausalMrs - how would your partner feel if you strictly quarantined for 14 days? Like - got two weeks worth of shopping in and literally didn't leave the house? then the infection risk to him is really, really minimal - like, much less than his son shuttling backwards and forwards? I appreciate it's his health at stake, so a decision for him to make, but it could work?

@namechange8765454 hello! We’re not alone.

I’ve done a 180 from judging people who broke lockdown to being far more understanding.

I think me and boyfriend will move in together soon! I’m excited.

@Medstudent12

Same here. Was vehemently sticking to the rules but now going to break them! It has been 10 weeks of minimal contact with other people and we haven't seen each other.at all..

Realistically, when do people think seeing your partner non-socially distanced will be OK? I know it's impossible to say without inside knowledge but surely expecting people to go upwards of 6 months without touching their partner is insane. What are other countries who are a few weeks ahead of us doing? I think I could just about cope until July, but beyond that we'll be at the six month point of not seeing each other. Since my OH has made it clear he's not seeing me until the rules change, I'm stuck - like it or not. I know some people have the desire to hug family and friends. That's something I'm happy to forgo for now. With a partner a substantial part of the relationship is based on touch (not just sex, but kissing, cuddling, holding hands.)

@Bramblebear92 I agree, you need physical touch.

And people who are single and live alone need to be able to hug friends or family. It’s a basic human need.

It just seems never ending now. If there was end date then I’d be able to stick to it.

That's how I feel, if they said that they would allow us to meet up with partners in say 4 weeks, I'd be ecstatic and would happily carry on sticking to the rules, it's the open endedness of this that is causing me the most upset. He wants to start coming over again from next weekend, but my worry is he is now back at work. I'm still wfh and the kids are with me full time, they haven't even been going to their dad's throughout this as he luckily agreed with me, that being a key worker was extra risk.

Lockdown has killed my relationship ☹️

@nex18 what happened? 💐

Sorry to hear nex18 😢

Things are good between when we’re together but we’re running out of things to say to each other on the phone. We have met up a few times but it’s only been for short times, avoiding the children and I guess it’s just not enough.

And there’s no end in sight. Maybe it would be different if we knew when we can honestly see each other properly.