new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

When does the government intend to do the next major announcement.

I’ve got a known cleaner coming into my house on Thursday. We all have to be out or in one room which she will not enter. My boyfriend hasn’t been to my house for 8 weeks. We have socially distanced walks and a quick kids afterwards but we can’t properly meet up as I have teenage boys who are desperate to see friends etc so I would be a hypocrite.

They can see friends tho so it wouldn’t be hypocritical ?

@Mascotte it is a human right - qualified not absolute though

I do wonder if there could be legal action that may be taken re this

I doubt the police would be interested in investigating such things. What they want to avoid is large groups hanging round then going home spreading the disease to 15 different households, having parties where people get pissed and forget social distancing etc

You are more likely to pick something up going to the supermarket for your weekly shop than just from meeting your partner where you are exposed to lots of people and their germs.

I see mine every weekend when my dc go to their dad's. I'm wfh so the dc are with me through the week. Weekends they go to their dad's who is goi g to work, the only person in his office. My boyfriend is furloughed, lives alone and spends midweek doing his house up. If I didn't have young dc he would have moved in. His are grown up and live with their own partners.

@LemonyCupcake yes, they're always qualified by proportionality and others rights. It's interesting! It seems disproportionate to me, especially in circumstances as detailed by many of us where it's seemingly against the law but with the same risks as if lived together.

Proportionality and a legitimate aim in a democratic society. I think one of the exemptions to the art5 right to liberty is quarantine for infectious diseases. I think the proportionality and legit aim are in question given that other contacts are being prioritised for the good of the economy. Seems like an office has the potential for spread more than two people only seeing each other.

I think DP and I have come up with a plan. His housemates are worried about increasing the risk if I visit/he visits me, even though I live alone, so he’s going to investigate living on his own temporarily, which would probably also work better in terms of space if I stayed for a chunk of time. There are other things to work through, but it’s a good plan which deals with the longer terms issues...

Me n dp have been living with the same people for the last 8 weeks and not done anything differently. We have seen eachother last month in my kitchen very close proximity no touching and we have both been fine, last week we had a cuddle and have been fine. This week I'm toying with idea of just letting him stay as the risks are low and we don't know when this is guna end x

I spoke to my boyfriend today and he's still insisting he will not see me as it's "against the law." He's not normally much of a stickler, nor is he overly worried about the virus, but it seems until Bojo makes a statement he's unwilling to do anything.

My concern is this statement may never come. I know it sounds bad but I'm starting to resent my bf and things are getting really tense. It's because there seems no end in sight...if I thought I could see him in a month's time I'd have something to work towards, but with government putting zero focus on wellbeing and just the economy this will be pretty common.

We can't move in due to his job. We've been together five years and I really think we could be heading for a break up if things don't change soon. Thanks a lot, Bojo.

Bramble “ My concern is this statement may never come.”

I’m single. I have expressed this concern to my friends. The statement might come when pubs are open etc but I doubt it. I think it will never be said “you can visit people” and at some point the government will accuse people of being stupid and not using common sense.

I completely understand you starting to resent him.

Totally agree the government will go ‘oh , nobody said you couldn’t see your partner ‘ at some point in the future

God shame
Re your dp, bramble -what if Boris told him to stick his head in the oven , would he ??

This is why I keep asking about the law

They will get out of any legal challenge by saying “but x y z was never banned” or “ was only banned in the “stay at home” phase”.

The law has been poorly written to benefit them, while the rest of us live in fear of the £100 fine.

LemonyCupcake - God knows. He's totally anti-lockdown and believes things should open up, so God knows what he's thinking

If nothing has been said in another month I don't think anything ever will be to be honest. It's sickening though as this will be the death knell of many relationships.

@Bramble that's pretty horrible for you. I think I'd take a step back and maybe see if you could meet friends and stuff? Assuming you're not in lockdown Scotland! Don't make any big decisions when things are so heightened. But I'd struggle if I were you.

Unless there are reasons which make it more risky?

No, we're late 20s/early 30s and very low risk. I'm probably just going to avoid phoning him for a bit. He's never been a great conversationalist on the phone and expects me to talk 90% of the time. He's quieter than me but much better in person. As we're now into the third month of just having phone conversations, it's starting to get more difficult. We've done long distance through most of the relationship, but see each other quite regularly normally. I also think it's a relationship quite dependent on in person contact. Speaking to someone on the phobe for months on end is just like having a friend after a while

@bramble
Could you meet up socially distanced outside? To give you chance to meet up in person? Because that’s allowed.

I know what you mean about resenting your dp, it’s like being continually rejected and feeling unimportant. It’s damaging when it continues for this long.

Sorry I've only read half the thread, but my thoughts are that they can't make exceptions for 'committed couples that don't live together' - too much grey in that alone. But if they did then you'd have a MONUMENTAL amount if whining about 'if Karen can see her boyfriend why can't I see me mam/dad/sister/bestie/whoever' & the virus would spread rapidly.

DP & I are locked down separately (he has a DS & I'm vulnerable and his DS goes between DP & his mum & his mum is not observing lockdown - Plus he's not as careful as I am, so we felt the risk for me was too great.). He only lives half a mile away, so it would have been very easy to keep seeing each other the whole time.

I was walking one day and he was driving up the road, he pulled up alongside me & we chatted for a few minutes (me outside the car on the passenger side) it was nice to see him, but when he drove off I cried. It's the only time I've cried (about him/us in the whole time). We could meet for a socially distanced walk/picnic, but for me that would be much harder than just not seeing him. I want a cuddle and I want to sleep with him (literally) sex too of course.

If I wasn't vulnerable we'd have moved in together & even if we hadn't I would be seeing him now,so it's not really the 'guidelines' keeping us apart, it's the risk of me getting the virus.

Lots of messaging talking & FaceTime is having to be enough for now 🙄🙄

@Bramblebear92 could you lure him?

“ But if they did then you'd have a MONUMENTAL amount if whining about 'if Karen can see her boyfriend why can't I see me mam/dad/sister/bestie/whoever' & the virus would spread rapidly. ”

Some countries had the decency to allow a limited amount of mixing, this would have been fine and within homes, very easy to track and trace infections.

The virus would not spread rapidly. Have you read around the lack of effectiveness of lockdown?

You mention you are “vulnerable”, are you going to wait for a vaccine? Not a criticism, just a question.

It's totally different fir long term partners

God Bramble what a nightmare - I would be questioning the relationship too (

Surely Boris ‘s kids and friends all have partners they are missing / don’t live with??

Prob nobody is observing it !

Mascotte sorry, what’s different for long term partners?

We could have been like other countries and allowed visits to homes but no more than 5 people or whatever.

@lilac people are just doing their own thing now anyway. My mum (early 70s) and her friends are now meeting up etc for coffee and cake in their gardens

Life is too short to live in a prison

Lemony I think people who only have short journeys have it much easier

I really think it was inhuman to deprive people of company in this lockdown. I also agree the people in charge are probably just ignoring it.

@Lilac what @BestOptionsaid about moaning people. It's different to see your long term partner than friends,etc. Though I agree people need to see someone snd this whole thing is inhumane for people alone