new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

@LemonyCupcake there's no difference in risk, as you say.

@LemonyCupcake I can't really argue with your logic there! I think for many of us it's not so much about people telling on us, more that we've been programmed in a short space of time to think that we're somehow riskier....

I'm quite pleased I've proved unprogrammable 😃 But I'm old

firebrand123

It doesn't stand up to any logical scrutiny though. That's my test - is it logical?

So, having a cleaner in your home, who you don't know personally; without knowing how many other clients they have seen; or what their social distancing/handwashing practices are like in their own life; or whether they are observing lockdown - safe.

Seeing your boyfriend who goes to the shop down the road once a week and is otherwise self isolating - not safe...

Illogical.

The government's priority is the economy. Good for them. That's ok - they can focus on that. My priority is my mental health and I'll focus on that.

Apparently the lockdown had to have 60% compliance to be effective. So if people are complying with it 95% of the time - that's a win.

Logically...

Really don’t understand who people think will tell on them?

I don't know, I read a thread on the Coronavirus forum on MN this morning where someone was asking if they should report their local PCSO because she saw her pushing her granddaughter down the road in a pram...

There are plenty of people who are willing to snitch on a neighbour and feel justified in doing so!

That all makes total sense @SunshineSmellsLikeSummer
I just have an unhealthy guilt complex which gets in the way for me!

I haven't seen mine since early March and won't for some time. We are shielding and he lives an hour away anyway so until recently even if not shielding I wouldn't have been able to drive that far.

I guess each of us has different circumstances. My friend has just gone to stay with her partner for a couple of weeks so swapping households but again that is up to her and I wouldn't dream of judging someone for that.

I had a lovely day with my boyfriend yesterday, we weren’t 2m apart and saliva wasn’t the only bodily fluid we shared. Not dead yet.

Out of interest what are the rules in other countries for people in this situation?

@Cherryghost I think I remember reading that in Denmark and another country , partners can ‘interact‘ still

It's my birthday in a few weeks I hugged dp n I'm praying next review date end of May they will relax things sayin that I think it will just be more shops opening etc and we will be forgotten again !!

neither of us really knew what our "rules" were.
Same here. I wish we had, as like you I found it felt weird, not knowing whether I should/could hug him. We are meeting next weekend for a picnic and I plan to discuss our "rules" with him before then. A hug is so low risk that it seems ridiculous not to. We were going to wait until the next lockdown review before deciding whether to spend time together inside, but I am not sure I want to wait until then.

It does feel absolutely bonkers that I am only "allowed" to see my boyfriend of 3 years outside, and have to keep 2 metres away from him and not touch him. I am fine with those rules for friends, but for someone I share my life with (if not my home), it's very very difficult and seems very cruel.

dollface19 I was thinking just the same this evening. I'll bet the next 'stage' will just be more shops opening (money, natch) , the schools, some cafes, and we'll be forgotten. My birthday's in a few weeks too, dp's mid-June, and unlikely to see each other. He's in Wales too so even a socially-distanced meet up not on the cards 😢

@diege I know how u feel I'm in wales n in lucky dp does the road we've Been socially distancing for weeks 🙈can't just expect is to cut each other off ! The prob is people leaving and coming into wales from England they aren't allowed and they are so hot on it !
I'm hoping next review they change that though
It's a joke

dollface19 I know! Ironically I'm Welsh, and also work in Wales (dp works in England). We're both working from home but I do need to pop in for a laptop. If it comes to it, I'll have to use work as an excuse to visit 🤣 (my work is mins from his house!).

@RichardMarxisinnocent no way would I socially distance from my dp just cos the gov says don’t .absolutely no court in the land that could enforce it

Bet the gov has heaps of legal action after this

I was interpreting it as people have to choose only one person for the duration, but after hearing what my mum's doing, IDK if that's right now! I think Boris etc need to clarify it. If it's one at a time, if I had a boyfriend I'd definitely be seeing them, although staying 2m apart might be a bit hard as you can't give them a kiss, hug or hold hands.

no way would I socially distance from my dp just cos the gov says don’t .absolutely no court in the land that could enforce it. Bet the gov has heaps of legal action after this

Of course they can enforce it. or will never face any cases for doing it- they've changed the law. It's those who ignore it who are breaking the law www.gov.uk/government/publications/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing/staying-alert-and-safe-social-distancing

They justify it by it being a public health emergency- and rightly so. Stopping people dying has to be more of a priority than us not being able to do some things we find pleasant.

Think it’s one person at a time , not the same person..

It's one person at a time outside at a 2m distance. This is fine for couples who haven't seen their parents etc but for couples who live separately, there are zero rules which is ridiculous. I understand public emergency but for how long?
If We could choose one person as in a dp to have in our homes(at a low risk) and have physical contact with this would help thousands of people's MH!

They justify it by it being a public health emergency- and rightly so. Stopping people dying has to be more of a priority than us not being able to do some things we find pleasant.*

Things I find pleasant are going out for dinner, having coffee with a friend, going to a concert or cinema. I haven't been hugged or experienced any other human touch since 22nd March. For a few weeks that was manageable, but after over 8 weeks, it really isn't just something pleasant that I fancy doing, its a real need. I am lonely and stressed and sad and hating wfh, and I need a hug, I need the touch of another human being.

The right to a private and family life is actually one of the fundamental human rights. So hardly something that's just "pleasant".

I've been reading this thread with interest as we're in a similar situation and been badly affected by the lockdown. I live in Wales and my fiancee is in England 150 miles away. It's been over 10 weeks now since we've seen each other in person and it's so difficult. I really hope they announce something soon that allows partners living apart to see each other, maybe as in the "bubble" scenario that's been mentioned.

Not knowing how long this is going to go on for is the hardest part, it would be nice to have something to look forward to but it could be weeks or months yet. Surely they have to consider that partners and/or families can't be kept apart for much longer. It's unnatural and damaging.

The night that lockdown was announced we discussed it with my (late teen / young adult) DC and agreed DP would move in.

But we live in such a small house that three of us WFH and one studying made it impossible due to lack of space.

DP now treats his house as an office and goes there to work, seeing nobody else, (apart from on the two days he is on the rota to cover at their warehouse) and comes back to me at weekends.

Technically it is breaking the rules but we are treating ourselves as one household, just with a very long corridor to DPs office.

Yeah quite suzie. I did discuss fully moving together with my DP but both of us WFH and period of time with 5x children, who have never all lived together before, in a house where they would need to share rooms, seems crazy.

I come back to my house just when my children are here to provide care to them.