new covid guidelines: is everyone in a non-live-in relationship still not seeing their partner?

[SenselessUbiquity]

Given that there has been no mention at all of social interaction beyond:
1 - meeting one other person outdoors at a distance of 2m
2- in the relatively far off future, being possibly able to socialise in "bubbles" with one other household thus facilitating childcare etc

basically if you are in a relationship with someone whose household or day to day life you do not share, there is no mention at all of when that will resume.

What does that realistically mean in terms of what people are actually doing?

• following the rules to the letter? for as long as it takes?
• saying "fuck it" and meeting indoors and being physically close anyway, in secret?
• somewhere in between?

Please tell me the truth. I won't tell a soul!

Saw oh today. We actually hugged as we're both getting really down and anxious. He has significant mh issues and adhd (awaiting full diagnosis and meds). That hug helped enormously.

DS has gone for a socially distanced picnic with his GF today. He was so happy to be seeing her, he asked me to cut his hair, and shaved for the first time in two months .

I think they could keep it up for another few weeks if there was an end date, but when they're telling us there might never be a vaccine and we'll have to "learn to live with it" I cannot see it as reasonable to ask people not to see partners indefinitely. DD meanwhile has "moved in" with her Bf twice since lockdown started. I couldn't stop her going, and was not willing to stop her coming back. Locking down to give the Government time to sort out NHS capacity, testing and PPE was fair enough. Locking down for ever and ever - or even for 18 months until there might be a vaccine is not Ok.

Aw, @Greendayz that's so cute 😊

And I think your analysis is spot on.

So me n dp are thinking of gettin private Antibody test for £50 if at the review date on may 28th we can see eachother then we weigh up our own risks and check woth an antibody test for maybe some clarity him coming to stay with me n dc few days a week.
No idea if it would mean anything or if Comes back negative etc what it would mean for us but think we are gettin desperate now xx

After all my anxiety, DP and I met up in a park today. We hugged but spent the rest of the time keeping a bit apart. The thing that convinced me to see him and have a hug was the thought of what if he caught Covid and we hadn't seen each other for months.. that would be awful! I feel much better for seeing him so thanks to everyone on this thread who gave me the confidence to do this just by sharing their stories

That’s good firebrand, glad you’re feeling better.

@firebrand123 lovely, glad you're feeling better 😊

to the tune of happy birthday twice

..... I heard it was to the tune of 'Thank you Baked Potato', but could have picked that up wrong

Thanks @Mascotte and @Badhairday101!

Here's a relevant opinion piece in today's Guardian

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/17/lockdown-straining-relationships-help-romantic-family-state

Excellent article

Am so worried for my kids too - they are becoming increasingly despondent

@LemonyCupcake my kids are coping really well so far but I do worry about the long term impact too, they need to get out and socialise freely.

Cherryghost I noticed that when the list of places to be closed was published, massage parlours were specifically listed.

Which says a lot about Boris or someone in his circle.

Very few people.would comply with a rule as cruel and as strict as:

You can't see friends/families/partners until there is a vaccine.

But a vaccine could be months away - if it ever happens.

The psychological benefit of human contact would, for most people, outweigh the risk or fear of a virus that they might or might not catch and might not even know they've got it.

As for those who are asymptomatic and unwittingly pass it on to others - they are going to he asymptomatic and pass it on to others whether they caught it from a family member or someone in the supermarket.

As for families who might contract it from another family member... well, we're all adults, we all assess our own personal risk and we all take the consequences. Once again, the lockdown wasn't intended to stop any of us from catching it ever, just to make sure the hospitals could cope without becoming overwhelmed.

I think the government made a mistake in focusing only on economic contact. I think a lot of people have just thought, "fuck it" since then. Certainly, I have noted higher levels of despondency in everyone I've spoken to since that statement.

Especially when I think very few of us believe that the government will be following the strict rules they have applied to everyone else.

@SunshineSmellsLikeSummer what an excellent post - sums it up for me !

Lemony a lot of people I've spoken to have either admitted, or strongly hinted, to having elected one person - usually a parent or partner - to have contact with. Or indicated that they will do soon.

People feel that the last government statement took the piss a bit - you can have a cleaner in, when you don't know how many other people/houses they've had contact with, but you can't see your parents/boyfriend when you know they've not seen anyone in 2 months.

The economy is important but mental health is equally important.

Totally agree Sunshine, the last statement was all about the economy and nothing about wellbeing so they completely alienated a lot of people.

Yes Sunshine, I agree completely too. especially

"I think the government made a mistake in focusing only on economic contact. I think a lot of people have just thought, "fuck it" since then. Certainly, I have noted higher levels of despondency in everyone I've spoken to since that statement."

I know many people who have just massively relaxed social distancing now since they have been basically given no indication of when they can do so legitimately.

I saw my bf yesterday. It was lovely but although we got a bit closer than 2m it was a bit weird that neither of us really knew what our "rules" were. We should have discussed it maybe. we had become very in tune with each other before and it felt a little lost in translation. I'm sad about that. And I'm not going to let it get any worse. From now on: fuck the rules. When I got home he sent me a message saying "I had a lovely time today" and it felt like a first date

@SenselessUbiquity I felt like that! 5 years of being together and we sent really polite 'thanks for a lovely day' type texts afterwards. The end of the 'date' felt weird too, neither of us knew what to do or say, we just looked at each other and said bye awkwardly, waved, and then got in our car and drove away, me with tears streaming down my face (not that he saw!!!!)

There's a reason why isolation is used as the harshest punishment in prisons.

I know many people who have just massively relaxed social distancing now since they have been basically given no indication of when they can do so legitimately

Exactly, i think the government have just decided that if they give us plebs an inch, we'll take a mile. When, in reality, if you give people nothing they will take the matter into their own hands.

me with tears streaming down my face (not that he saw!!!!)

For everyone who's not hugging their DP when they meet, please remember the guidance is that you need to spend 15 minutes or more within 2 metres to be at risk.
publichealthmatters.blog.gov.uk/2020/03/04/coronavirus-covid-19-what-is-social-distancing/

So, obviously swapping saliva with a kiss is another matter, but if you hug to say hello or goodbye you're complying with this and when you're in contact you're breathing away from each other.

This article is good as it talks about how breathing and speaking need you to be in contact for quite an extended period up close to be at risk, a hug isn't likely to do that unless one of you sneezes or coughs on the other. www.erinbromage.com/post/the-risks-know-them-avoid-them?fbclid=IwAR06SRw7NkqdXmLyLjnVzx-UZFz3boKDAC3f6lNEJTB2UXLmBsieFoRLPZk

That article says how most cases of coronavirus are caught indoors, with people closely-spaced, with lots of talking, singing, or yelling. The main sources for infection are home, workplace, public transport, social gatherings, and restaurants.

All of this helped reassure me that meeting DP and hugging him was ok. Obviously it's a personal decision that you have to be comfortable with, but I hate to see people feeling sad because they're missing out on human contact

When I see my DP this weekend I'm having sex. End of 😂

Well @sociallydistained the evidence that was shared a few pages ago was that vaginal sex is fine, just don't kiss and don't face each other (or make it quick)

But if you lived with your partners you would be having sex (hopefully !) and they might have Covid from work or supermarket ??

Really don’t understand who people think will tell on them ?