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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Reuniting with a first love? Have you?

33 replies

DearPru · 09/05/2020 08:11

Morning,

I posted last year after my first love reached out with an apology over how our relationship ended all those years ago. It was lovely to hear from him but then he told me he was in a relationship. I can’t lie and say a part of me wasn’t disappointed because it was. We caught up on what we’d been up to for the years in between, and I explained to him that I was uncomfortable to chat as he is in a relationship, he agreed so we stopped communicating.

Fast forward to now. He’s recently messaged me to tell me he’s single and my mind is all over the place.

How many of you have reconnected with a first love and has it worked out?

Thanks x

OP posts:

Aminuts23 · 09/05/2020 10:34

OP I got together with someone from my past. It was someone I’d known since I was a young teenager. He wasn’t an ex but a school friend I’d fancied as a teenager.
In my experience because you already know the person you let your guard down sooner and trust them more than you would a stranger. That wasn’t a good thing in my case. I ended up being completely blindsided by him and when the rose tinted glasses fell off there’d been red flags I just hadn’t seen because he wasn’t the person I thought I knew. I ended up emotionally wrung out and very hurt. Give it a try but be as cautious as you would be with any new partner.

habibihabibi · 09/05/2020 10:44

It worked for Charles and Camilla.

Dery · 09/05/2020 10:52

“I think you should try and forget the fact that he was your first love. If you want to meet him, try not to get sucked into to the past, draw a line under it. See if you get on with/like/want to be with him as he is now.”

This seems a very sound way to approach it.

Original poster

DearPru · 09/05/2020 12:48

Thanks for all your replies. I think I’ll let him take the lead. If he wants it to go somewhere then I’m willing to meet up and see how it feels. No pressure.
I’m trying not to think of the past so much but it’s difficult. I think if it’d been me who had wanted the break up this would be a lot easier than it is.xx

OP posts:

Toiletrollbuyer · 09/05/2020 18:45

I have. OH and I had a brief thing 20 years ago! Both have had relationships and kids since but reconnected and are now happily together, living together and very much in love 😍

Original poster

DearPru · 09/05/2020 19:11

@toiletrollbuyer - aww that’s lovely to hear! Had you kept in touch for all the years in between or was it an out of the blue message that reconnected you both?x

OP posts:

Toiletrollbuyer · 09/05/2020 19:22

Kept in touch on and off really, but only maybe just a catch up once a year. We were never serious in the first place as were young (ish). We just always had similar interests and kind of fell together again as older more mature adults after both being in crappy relationships with other people.
It can work for some I guess

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 09/05/2020 19:46

Very close friends of ours were engaged at 20, and split up. Subsequently both went on to marry others and have kids. 10 years ago (then in their early 40s and both divorced) they met up, fell in love and married each other. They've been together 10 years now, married 8 and have successfully blended their family with her boys (16 and 20) and his boys (14, 18 and 20) all getting along well.
It can be done.

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