When I LTB...

[PickledLilly]

I’m currently in a relationship I’m planning on ending but stuck because of lockdown. To while away the hours, I’m playing a game of ‘when I LTB’ in my head. Every time he does something that annoys me, I smile sweetly and think to myself ‘when I LTB, I will/won’t do x’ it’s very therapeutic!

Lighthearted, anyone can join in, whether you’re planning on leaving, already left or love him really but are eyeing up the patio and wondering how big a hole you’d need to dig because you’re stuck in the house with him and he’s annoying you.

Some of mine are:
When I LTB I’m going to sleep diagonally across my bed and it have to listen to anyone snoring. I’m going to have control of my own TV remote and I’m mostly going to use it to turn the damn thing off. I’m going to be able to make some cheap easy dinners without complaints that unless there’s a load of meat in it, it’s not proper food. Oh and my food bills will massively decrease without him eating everything in sight!

Yes, you’re right. It’s just a temporary setback, it’s just really bloody annoying that I’ve spent years dithering and trying to find the courage and then I made up my mind and nothing has changed. I’m stalking around my house making mental lists of what I’m going to pack but can’t actually do anything. I need to get back to my original ‘when I LTB’ game to distract myself.

Yes, I either do the LTB games, or daydream about other things. I also, might have to be the one that leaves, which I am not looking forward to, and I like where I am living but it's rented. He says he will go, but he's got form for not carrying things out, and I can't risk leaving it until the last minute, only to find out he's let me down again. He knows about my wanting to split up. He's know for years really, but brushed it off etc, but when lockdown came I really told him just how unhappy I have been, and he was very very shocked! (Apparently)

I’m going to watch what I want on the tv without his sarcastic remarks. I’m going to lie in bed in the mornings with my young children.
I’m going to make myself whatever I want for lunch without him expecting me to make his.
I’m going to have a tidy house.
I’m going to redecorate parts of the house.
I’m going to feel free.

First thing on my list was a new set of lovely feminine bedding that he hadn't slept under.

Yes! Bedding. I’m definitely buying new bedding, something pale and pretty. He has a ‘mucky’ job and I’ve had to have dark coloured bedding for ten years otherwise he ruins it.

I’m going to take my cat with me and enjoy not have to share a home with his bloody dog. Nothing against dogs generally but I always end up being responsible for her because he doesn’t look after her properly and I’m sick of brushing a dog and picking up dog poo when it’s not even my dog.

I won’t ever have to sleep in a room that stinks because he’s taken his stinky work clothes off and left them in a heap on the bedroom floor. Ditto the stench of his shoes.

In fact. Generally, not having a heap of dirty clothes all over the floor. We’ve been arguing about that for NINE YEARS (the first year of the ten I didn’t live with him!) and he still can’t figure out how to put things in the laundry basket.

I read about something called a 'divorce bucket list', which sounds fun. On mine would be to go on holiday with friends (without him there to ruin it with constant moaning and fault-finding).

I’m quite boring so I don’t think it would be much of a bucket list. I’m looking forward to reading in the evenings instead of having the tv on all the time and what I’m REALLY looking forward to is having some time on my own whilst the kids are with their dad. I currently don’t really get any time at all away from them. I’ve no idea what I’ll do with childfree time but I’m excited by the idea of it!

Reading for me too. Without the constant background noise of radio, tv, podcasts, just noise that's incessant.

@PickledLilly thank you for this thread. 'I’m stalking around my house making mental lists of what I’m going to pack but can’t actually do anything. I need to get back to my original ‘when I LTB’ game to distract myself.' - this is exactly what I am doing and it's the only thing that is keeping me sane atm. After the whole of lockdown of me worrying that nothing is happening on his side, he has an appointment with an estate agent next week - thank goodness. If it was me leaving the house I'd have gone by now. Though what this appointment means I don't know - here's desperately hoping it's about renting rather than a year of waiting for him to buy (surely I don't have to put up with that?!) In the meantime, I'm ordering things online that I know I will need, making them garden nicer and listing/planning/quiet cleaning all the time in the hope of moving forward. Here's to better times

It’s so hard isn’t it? I daren’t even tell him
I’m going because then I’d have to live in an awful atmosphere so I’m playing nice for the minute. I did tell him I wanted to leave a few months ago but he didn’t want me to and made a load of the usual empty promises so as far as he’s concerned, that’s that. He just assumes he will get his own way.

What is LBT? Can work out the meaning behind the thread and understand the OPs frustration and I so wish her well but mystified by these abbreviations which keep coming up on mumsnet.

@PickledLilly Poor dog though, being left with someone that doesn’t care for it. Sounds like it has as bad a life as you do.

@HappydaysAreHere LTB = leave the bastard

Thought of another one - I'm gonna go to McDonalds for breakfast and eat whatever the hell I want! (He's controlling about what I eat so this is a big one!)

The dog is on her last legs anyway bless her so thankfully less needy in terms of walks etc. I assume without me to constantly remind him to order more food for her he will actually grow up and sort it out himself.

I am making similar assumptions about him figuring out how the washing machine works, that there aren’t magic bed changing or toilet cleaning fairies but perhaps he will just find another chump like me to do it all for him as being the owner of a penis, and a giant manchild, he couldn’t possibly do it himself. He lived in utter filth before I moved in with him and really, that should have told me everything I needed to know.

Something else I’m going to enjoy? Not constantly bloody waiting for him (though I don’t doubt he will be late when he’s supposed to collect the kids) during lockdown, apart from walks, I go out ONCE in a week to do the food shopping for three different households. I reminded him earlier ‘don’t forget I’ve got to do the food shop tonight’ has he come home from work so I can go? Has he fuck. It’s later every week, I swear he does it to mess with me.

I love this thread so much. I'm also looking forward to new bedding, not having to endure the horrendous stench after he's visited all the bathrooms in the house (for variety? Who knows! Vile.). No dirty socks on the floor. Cooking and eating what I like. Not having to listen to him give out to my poor 3yo DD first thing in the morning for bloody breathing. The list goes on!

When I LTB I won't have to hear his constant noise, streaming endless podcasts and music too loud so I can hear it clearly from rooms away. I won't have clothes dumped wherever and dishes stacked beside the empty dishwasher.

I won't have to be listening on edge keeping a constant ear out for him getting pissy or angry. Once the kids are asleep I'll be able to relax and watch my shows. No more tense family outings. Peace and quiet.

Nobody to insist on a ‘family movie’ then get pissy with the kids for not sitting still and watching it because the entire purpose of the enforced sitting quietly watching a film is so he can nod off on the sofa.

Sometimes it’s the really petty little things but I’m going to buy myself a pair of kitchen scissors and they are going to stay in the kitchen. Not disappear to be used for some totally inappropriate DIY job only to be found some moths later blunt or broken and buried in the shed.