what would you think of a woman who'd been married 3 times

[returnofthemollymawks]

Would you judge? Would you have a relationship with her?
She seems quite nice but I can't help but wonder what it is about her that makes her relationships fail?

The difference between the general tone of these two reverse threads is reassuringly stark. It's MNetters love a good double standards trap.

I'd think that somebody should have a quiet word and point out that toasters and teatowels are available on Amazon.

Suppose in the vague hope that this is real context of her being Gay or Bi, were they marriages with men? I can easily see marriages coming to an end when somebody's sexuality isn't being completely accepted (or treated as the stimulus for male fantasy).

I'd think:-

1. Impressed that she didn't feel forced to stay in an unhappy marriage (if that is a reason for them ending)

1. Concerned that she is a head over heart person and impulsive to a fault

1. Slightly concerned that it was done for financial gain but only if the exes are wealthy

1. Worried she just likes weddings.

I'd think that somebody should have a quiet word and point out that toasters and teatowels are available on Amazon.

1 marriage to a man, 2 adult children. 2 relationships with women - 1 civil partnership due to differences and 1 marriage. She ended the CP and her wife ended the marriage as she met somebody else

Is it you, op? Are you back in the market again?

Nope, not me. I've been married once.

Depends what she had to say about it and what she was like. If she was needy I’d probably think it was a bit ridiculous but if she was quite eccentric and owned it/ talked about it openly / told funny stories about it I’d probably like her or think fair play.

I am astonished (and frankly quite insulted at the lack of intelligence!) at some of the responses to the OPs question 😳🤦‍♀️

I HAVE been married 3 times (now in my late 50s)

First husband, father of my children: married at 19, divorced 9 years later due to him having his second affair whilst I was pregnant with our second child. The first affair only came out when I found out about the second 😓

Second husband: I married again 5 years later at 33, and was blissfully happy. Tragically he died of a heart attack just 3 years later 😢 He was 41.

I never thought I would marry again, and didn't even date for over 5 years. However, a friend introduced me to the man who became my third husband, just before my 42nd birthday...we went on a date. My first in 5 years! 2 years later he proposed and a year later we got married. 3 years ago he sadly got diagnosed with lung cancer and I lost him not long after. I've been on my own ever since.

So...here I am...a woman with three husbands under her belt, which, according to some people on here, means I'm 'clingy', 'needy', have 'mental health issues', needs 'looking after by a man'...amongst other equally demeaning things 😧

Seriously people of MN...think before you engage your typing finger!! Yes, I got married to three men...but I've never slept around, or dated multitudes, or flitted from one relationship to another because I simply cannot be without one...I went YEARS between each marriage alone, single, not a man on the horizon!! Not clingy/needy/no mental health issues/COMPLETELY financially independent with a very professional job of my own!

@Branleuse I really do not think it is "normal". Certainly not for any of my family or friends. Just about all family on first marriages lasting from 6 years to 70 years.

The only divorce in my family is 1 cousin and that is out of 7 cousins

I've been married 3 times. 1st one at 18, he was abusive and I left after coming to my senses after DS2 died just after a premature birth.

Married again at 26, 5 miscarriages and losing DD after a premature birth at 28 weeks divorced at 32.

Met DH at 38, married him at 40. We have no children of our own, DH wasnt fused and didn't want to put the pressure on our relationship. Been married 20 years.

My dad has been married three times. His first wife (my mum) died when we were all very young. She was just 28. Turned 28 the week before she died.

His second wife was a rampant alcoholic. I'm glad they divorced. She ruined our lives for far too long. Has her own tragic backstory though so I can't hate her.

His third wife is lovely and I'm truly happy for my Dad. He's 68 now so hope this marriage lasts.

I would judge. It’s not very likely that all three times she wasn’t at least part of the cause of the failed marriage. Poor decision making etc... Also why could/would you be bothered finding out why all three marriages failed. All under the assumption that she’s going to give you an impartial, truthful explanation.

It’s not that you have a vested interest in this person. Plenty of other people with less baggage.

my mums been married 3 times. First two beat her and the third one cheated and left. I dont believe it was her fault. Shes been with her partner now for 20 years and very happy. Thankfully not everyone is such a judgemental prick as some of the people on this thread

I didn't say whether or not I'd judge. I wouldn't judge at all. If I was the person considering marriage to her I'd get to know the reasons why there had been three previous marriages before deciding whether or not to marry. Any decision would be highly personal.

I know some women who've been married three times and I've never thought anything of it. Their earlier marriages didn't work out and they sensibly didn't stay in failed relationships.

Bloody hell there's a lot of judgemental nastiness on this thread.

Optimism over experience

Talk about double standards!

There was a thread I saw earlier about a man who'd been married three times and he was getting slagged off

Not a thread I saw LudaMusser but personally, the number of marriages someone has had, whatever their sex, is of no relevance to my general opinion of them.

So much judginess on this thread. All these people smugly married to nice men. If one day you found out he was far from nice, would you still be trotting out the 'marriage is for life' shit? And suggesting people must have mental health problems? Without knowing anything else about them?

:@SpongeBobJudgeyPants** Although I do believe marriage is for life I also realise that marriages break down. If I had two or more marriages break down though I would not just keep getting married.

Making the vow "till death us do part" and then marrying 3 or more times just makes a mockery of marriage.

Depends

If still believing in marriage then probably a hopeless romantic

Or could be quick to move on when bored

If all husbands died mysteriously then someone to avoid

Spongebob, if I had to leave I just wouldn’t marry again. Taking vows a second time after failing to keep the first would make them a mockery for me.

Too many rush into marriage (and parenthood) without really getting to know the person first.

Meh, that sounds vaguely reasonable.

Not everybody has a perfect relationship history.

I’d think that she wouldn’t put up with any shit just to save face or because of sentimentality.