what would you think of a woman who'd been married 3 times

[returnofthemollymawks]

Would you judge? Would you have a relationship with her?
She seems quite nice but I can't help but wonder what it is about her that makes her relationships fail?

Relative is late 30s and on 4th marriage.
She enjoys getting married and isn't afraid to move on. She enjoys regular change in her life and moves house often too, has lived in several countries and many cities.

She is extremely successful in her career. She is child free and I see no problem in her getting married as often as she likes.

I assume that by now the grooms realise the marriage isn't going to last forever!

My DS has been married three times.

Luckily her taste has improved over the years and I love her husband and we all have a great family relationship.

The first two were bloody awful, the first abusive and the second an absolute bell end.

It depends on why the marriages ended. If they all ended when she murdered her spouse I’d steer well clear. If they ended for a variety of reasons that don’t reflect badly on her e.g. infidelity on her spouses part, growing apart after a significant period of time and, spouse dying (or whatever) then I wouldn’t think twice.

This means nothing in the way your thinking. Your assuming that the breakdown was because of her and what could be wrong with her. Any number of reasons could have contributed to the breakdowns. I would be more akin to someone that wanted a serious commitment and had taken that step. Infinitely better than someone thats drifted from one man to another. I think you should treat this as a new adventure rather than focusing on her why her marriages failed. I agree its probably mindful in time to know why and no doubt she probably explain this to you. However no point in giving up before you start!

Are the first 3 spouses alive or under the patio?

I'm honestly shocked by the number of people on this thread and in life generally who seem to think that the sex of the participants in a situation makes no difference and provides no relevant context. Of course people's answers will change based on whether you're male or female, or in a straight or gay relationship, or if the past marriages were too men or women. It's all relevent. I wish that we lived in a world where it wasn't, but it is. I don't know if it's naivety, a misplaced belief that for men and women to be equal we have to pretend that they're identical with identical experiences of the world, or if some people just live in a utopian bubble where there really are no sex specific differences, but it baffles me that it isn't more obvious to people that you can't just obscure or reverse the sexes and expect the situation to remain the same.

Same as i would think of a bloke that had been married 3 times

I'm with PP, surely it depends on the circumstances.. I have a family member on her forth husband who's just coming up to 50.

Marriage 1 was in late teens and produced 2 kids. When the kids were here it turned out they weren't compatible at all, amicable split.

Marriage 2 was brief but he was abusive and she managed to leave when he got locked up.

Marriage 3 was with an older, more stable man who (I'm guessing here) provided a comforting and calm presence in her life and number 2. Last 15 years and again, amicable split when the age gap became too obvious to ignore as he retired and she was still in her early 40s.

Marriage 4 last year to an old friend who they've reconnected with.

I'm not judging. Someone my age (just coming up to 30) with 3 marriages under their belt I probably would judge a little on the inside

Oh the irony 😂😂

I would judge if you'd had multiple marriages regardless of sex to be honest. It shows you're quick to make decisions that you don't fully think through, you're not trustworthy, you're stupid or you have no loyalty or concept of it. None of which I'm looking for in a partner to be honest.

Are there children involved and what’s her explanation of it all? Does she have good relationships with the exes?

@returnofthemollymawks do you know any details of why they broke up?

Also, how does she feel about marriage now? And does that square with how you feel about it?

Absolutely nothing, I'd think her relationships hadnt worked out. End of.

Does she have good relationships with the exes? This is a big thing too. I couldn't be dealing with someone (male or female) who claimed all their exes were "crazy bitches".

I would think she was probably a bit of a mess, which I would feel about anyone who has been married many times. I would assume she had poor relationship skills or there was just generally something else wrong in her life that prevented her from having lasting healthy relationships. There's nothing wrong with being in multiple relationships, but I would assume that someone who got as far as thinking it was forever with 3 different people probably would struggle to have a healthy, successful relationship in the future too. I don't date women, so bit of a moot point, but I wouldn't date a man who was divorced more than once by middle age either.

I would think that like all fools, she rushed in where angels feared to tread.

I posted on the other thread saying I would run a mile. I would judge a woman the same way.

How does someone have three failed marriages? Obviously marriage is just not for them. Also makes a mockery of marriage in my view.

If I got divorced (highly unlikely as very happily married after 40 years) I might possibly think about remarrying although probably would not remarry. If I did and that also failed no way on earth would I marry for a third time even if the breakdowns were not my fault

Whether male or female, it wouldn’t be someone I’d date as my views on marriage obviously are very different to theirs.

Vows are meant for life, not just for the big day until the next one comes along. There’s usually children involved too.

I'd assume either she herself, was a narcissist (or perhaps bpd) or she didn't know what they were, so she kept attracting them.

So if you said "would you get involved with someone who had had 3 partners" pretty much everyone would say no problem at all.

Sound like she likes a ring and a party (and maybe a financial settlement). So if you do get involved just stay clear of all that.

If someone has three failed marriages behind them I would advise them not to get married anymore. You don’t have to get married to every person you are having a relationship with or you’ll end up like Liz Taylor. I think that poor woman married everyone she slept with.

Marriage maybe. I think if she's had children with three different men that would make me wonder.

Id think it was normal and none of my business. We live in a time now where we dont have to stay im shit marriages

I wouldn't care.

Yes I’d judge. 3 failed marriages, just stop getting married would be my advice marriage clearly doesn’t work for her 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would judge a man or woman that had been married 3 times the same way