Never ever get married

[Lemonheaddd]

Somebody your dating says they never ever want to get married, what would your thoughts be if you want to one day? Would you call it quits

I suppose it depends why they don't want to get married and if marriage is important to you?

I would have yes. Full legal commitment was a non-negotiable for me

If you want to get married then yes. They've already told you straight up so if it's different to what you want then listen and move on. Don't expect to change them.

I have had friends in this situation that have been told that, no marriage or no kids or whatever, and they've carried along only to leave 10 or so years later because the other half, that told them they never wanted to get married/have kids/whatever it is didn't want to do whatever it was.

Well, what are you ages, what is his back story?

Having been married and abused, I never want to get married anyway again.

The best thing I can tell women is be financially independent.

It would have been a deal breaker for me before I was married/has kids.

If something were to happen to my marriage then I wouldn't be looking to marry again I don't think but I don't plan to have more children and marriage and children go together for me.

It depends
If I didn't want to get married then I'd carry on.
Or if I was ambivalent about marriage and happy with other ways of drawing up legal issues/finances and I wasn't going to be sacrificing my security.
I might also carry on the relationship if we were met later in life with our own assets and wanted to refrain from marriage to protect our respective children's inheritance.

But I'd call it quits if I wanted marriage.
Or if I was young, wanted to have children and go part time/stay at home I'd call it quits because I wouldn't be happy facilitating a man's career knowing he could walk away and not value my contribution to the household.

It depends on circumstances

I love my second marriage but wouldn’t do it again.

I’d believe them and act accordingly - even though many people do say that and change their mind with time it’s probably best to assume they’ll stick with it. If I was up for a fling then I’d proceed, if I was engaged in a serious hunt for a life partner I’d pass.

I would leave, because it's a waste of my (limited) time.

If I'm dating in order to find a life partner, why would I try to develop a relationship with someone who isn't going to fill that role?

(I may be a bit weird. I never understood the people who said "don't tell him you want children right at the start, you'll scare him off" because from my point of view that was a Good Thing.)

And yes I did bring my child up as as a solo mum, It can be done.

I never want to get married again due to past abusive marriage. It doesnt mean I wont have a committed exclusive relationship in the future.

For me it would have been a deal breaker because I knew that I wanted to get married and then have children.

If you want marriage, then yes, call it quits.

Am totally unfussed by getting married so wouldn’t have made any difference to me

Depends on circumstances. When I was younger and didn't have kids, it would be a deal breaker for me if I wanted kids with that man.

Now in my late 40s with kids of my own, nope I wouldn't be bothered. Infact if I was single now, I wouldn't want to get married. I'm financially stable and wouldn't want anyone entitled to have what I've spent years scrimping and saving for

Why would you stay in a relationship with such a fundamental difference of opinion?

It would be a deal breaker for me, lots of men apparently don't "believe" in marriage

I was dead set against marriage for as long as I can remember. Ever when I had DS with my now x, I wasn't remotely interested in being married. Then I met my now DH and we married within 2 years of meeting...wasn't even up for discussion, we just 'knew'.

Well what are the reasons

Pre-children yes it would have been a dealbreaker - it suggests to me that they aren’t really looking for a permanent relationship, just a series of semi-serious girlfriends. Five years then move on to a younger model, that kind of thing. I have a couple of male friends like that, and while they are perfectly nice men, I would never date them. You wouldn’t see them for dust if you got pregnant.

Post-children, if anything happened to DH I would not want to move anyone else in, or attempt to blend a family (just looks like far too much hard work). So I’d be looking for something casual too.

Deal breaker, for me too. Marriage for me, is very important.

I've been married before and definitely lived to regret it.
I'm almost 36 weeks' pregnant with fiancé's baby and yes we will get married at some point, but not in a rush to do so.

It wasn't a deal breaker for me but I was very happy that DH wanted to get married. Our reasons mostly had to do with our wish to start a family and if we would break up now in our forties I wouldn't want to cohabit or get marrried again. I don't see the need to (for me).

My widowed dad and his girlfriend are the same. They won't get married or cohabit either. For them it also had more to do with their ideas at the time about raising a family, and having done that, that part of their life including marriage is over.

Don't waste your time. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Yes because men in love or who are really interested ( and they know if they're interested early on) don't say that. They don't want to take themselves out of the running. I would dump a guy that said that even if I didn't want to get married myself. If they're not smitten at the start you have NO CHANCE