‘Only rough people get abortions’

[User28823]

I had an early abortion while in an early relationship years ago. While on a call with a friend, who doesn’t know about this, she told me a colleague had had an abortion recently, then said it was something only ‘rough people’ do.

I feel horrible about it. I don’t know what I’m asking really.

She is a judgmental cow. Ignore her. All sorts of women terminate pregnancies for all sorts of reasons.

Well you friend is an idiot...women from all walks of life have terminations for a huge range of reasons, your friend is obviously fortunate to have never been in the situation to have to make that decision.

Ignore her, maybe distance yourself from her, but don't let it affect you or the decision you made that was right for you at the time

Well she's a prize twat isn't she?

She's a judgemental fuckwit. Ignore her.

I was just shocked by it and it’s made me feel like some low life, like someone from some shit upbringing or something. I know I shouldn’t let it affect me but it has

I'm not surprised you are upset. What a horrible thing to say!
I'm not sure I could be friends with someone who gossips and makes judgement on someone going through such a difficult time. Your friend doesn't seem to have any empathy or consideration for what other people have gone through.
Are there redeeming qualities that make you want to continue the friendship?
Also, abortion is something that can happen women across all backgrounds and personalities. It's very much an individual thing. You made your choice, as you have every right to do, and no one should make you feel bad for that. It's not an easy thing to do and I'm sorry to hear your bitchy friend has triggered difficult emotions about it.

Well for one, it's something only 'women' do and two - she is an idiot.

There but for the grace of god goes she (and all that). Does she personally know every woman on the planet who has had an abortion?

Ignore her, she's an ignorant idiot.

I don’t know anyone else who has had an abortion so guess I feel like she may be right. It’s just hit me hard.

Eh. Much more likely to to keep the baby in a working class environment (in my experience!). It took me years to notice that in the upper middle class world I moved into, despite much more shagging and hedonism, there was not one single unwanted young pregnancy.

WTF?

She's an arsehole.

Sorry you feel crap hope this thread makes you feel better

@User28823 I promise you that you know LOTS, it’s just that no one can come out and say it because of the danger of being attacked by nutters or religious zealots, or be the butt of ignorant comments like the one you had.

I don’t know anyone else who has had an abortion - I'd bet that you actually do, but they haven't told you.

Your friend is an idiot. What a crass and stupid thing to say.

Well it's absolutely not true so as much as her words hurt you just try to remind yourself of that.

Your friend obviously has a nasty side to her to first of all gossip about a colleagues abortion which i'm sure must have been told to her in confidence....and then to make such comments about women who do have them.

People from all walks of life terminate pregnancies for many reasons. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a bit thick and their opinions count for nothing.

You probably DO know women who have had abortions but they don't tell anyone for fear of judgement or similar stigma.

She's a judgemental bitch and I'd be distancing myself from her.

In ideal world, no woman would need an abortion.
In the real world, rape happens, contraception failure happens, circumstances change, medical issues occur...
I feel lucky to live somewhere where a woman can chose whether continuing with a pregnancy is right for her. No one should feel guilty for that.

Her statement says at lot more about her than about you.

I think you'll find that more people have had abortions than you'd think. It's just not something that comes up in conversation.

Some very posh people included.

This says more about the people she knows well than anything else. The people I know well enough to know something so intimate about who have had one we’re not rough. They were both lovely people, one was a professor, the other a dentist. They’d both fallen pregnant before they were able to provide for a child and did the responsible thing. Unwanted pregnancy can happen to anyone.

You probably know lots of people who have had abortions. After all, lots of people who know you don't know about your abortion, do they?
When I think about who I know who has had an abortion, I mainly think about the friend I supported when she went through an abortion. I'm aware of a few other friends who have, but there are probably lots others who I've never discussed it with because it isn't relevant to our friendship.

Horrible thing to say. She's obviously got no bloody idea about a lot of things, if she can say that. I'm not sure I'd want her as a friend after that.
Sorry it's affected you OP. Be kind to yourself. You sound like you're hurting.

'Rough' women are lovely too.

I don’t know anyone else who has had an abortion

Yes you do, you just don’t know that they have because it is mint generally discussed.

Your “friend” sounds a bit crazy. I’ve never ever heard anyone say what she said. She obviously has some strange ideas about life.

My sister had one. We grew up well off, she's well educated, no one could call her rough. You know loads of people who have had abortions, I guarantee it. They just don't speak about it.