He’s messaging someone isn’t he

[Loveabitofrain]

So I’ve had issues with my partner in the past re messaging woman. In all honesty I’ve never trusted him since. Yeah I know why am I still with him. Very good question.

Big row last week where I explain how it’s all made me feel and I don’t trust him, conversation ended with him understanding and promising to help more with that.

We had a few drinks tonight and I went to bed an hour or so before him. He comes up and his phone goes twice (text). Snoring his head off. I looked at his phone to see who messages are from. Something doesn’t feel right. Bear in mind it’s 3am. His phone says “2 iMessages from JoJo”.

I’ve woken him to find out and got the usual abuse. Won’t show me and claims he’s talking to a woman off twitter about all the lockdown business. She gave him her number. He’s been very active debating on Twitter (I can see it all).

It’s bullshit right ladies?! This is typical gaslighting isn’t it??

I’ve just been on his Instagram and there is a woman there calling herself Jojo. Old school friend. Bit too much of a coincidence huh?!

Been here before! He will not change and you wont feel happy in a relationship you dont have any trust in. Take my word for it, cut him loose. I wasted 4yrs with a similar guy and was totally heartbroken when we ended things. 4 months later i found the man of my dreams and i have a beautiful baby girl as a result and realised what a happy relationship really is. Save yourself wasted years and ditch him. Put your happiness before his.

@Buggedandconfused spot on!! You have hit the nail on the head!!

@MaMaD1990 that’s a wonderful happy ending story! Congrats!x

You sound strong and positive OP, you’ll have a great life, even being on your for however long is lovely after being with a bore like him. I thank my lucky stars every day I’m not with my gaslighting, weak, dickhead excuse for a human being anymore! Mentally disengage now and when you can, get rid. If you weaken read self help books. ‘Why does he do that’ by Lundy Bancroft for example is a great start.

@buggedandconfused thanks so much! I needed to hear this. Def think some reading would do me good 😄 x

I reread that book whenever I felt myself weakening. Also ‘From charm to harm’ is good, but a bit hard hitting.
I put up with my ex’s excuses, deflecting, minimising & levelling for too long. Blamed me for ‘making him behave’ in his disgusting disturbing ways too! I didn’t realise how awful the constant ‘fear’ and mistrust I held inside for so long was harming my psyche until I left him. Now I’m so glad to be free. So happy now just having peace of mind and not living with his crappy, petty, pathetic, dysfunctional personality anymore. I knew he was a pratt I just kept thinking he change. Ultimately these men are emotionally half formed beings, it’s not that they won’t be decent human beings... they just can’t, it’s beyond a their growth which is finite for them.
Take a deep breath, blow out all his rancid crap and move forward with lovely, fresh, truthful, happy air.

The fact he didn't show you the messages and got arsey is all you need to know.

So I’ve told him we are done. He needs to leave ASAP.

He’s done all the blaming, deflecting which I’m used to. Called me a bunch of names too!!

Final nail in the coffin.

Move on from him. My ex was the same and wouldn't admit to anything. Gaslighted me to make me feel crazy. I found out who the OW was and I'm ashamed to say I messaged her and gave her a piece of my mind and told her I'd be letting her husband know what she was up to. Cue her telling her husband before I did. Ex ended up with her, and I'm now with the loveliest, kindest man I could meet.

Ime the knowing it's over with no chance of going back is bloody great!!
Well done op.

You've made the right decision. Now stay strong! He will do whatever he can to make you change your mind so be prepared.

Well done!!You deserve so much better!

Well done! We’re all here for you. 💐

My ex’s last words to me when I ended it were ‘you’re a fucking witch’ - nice men these! NOT.

Thanks all 😘

Currently feeling a sense of relief x

You deserve better than a liar.

Well he’s gone. Practically zero remorse. Lucky escape me thinks!!

You are we'll rid OP but that doesn't stop it being upsetting, I hope you're ok Here's a link to a free pdf version of the Lundy Bancroft book if you do want to have a read www.docdroid.net/py03/why-does-he-do-that-pdf

well rid, autocorrect hates me today

Tell him he is now free to spend all night and all day too debating on twitter. Free as a bird.

Oh well done!

Well done op for sticking to your guns, he’s a waste of space! Don’t be surprised if you get grovelling messages from him in the next few days, stay strong and do not take him back

Thanks again all.

Feeling pretty crappy.

@Hidingtonothing I will def take a read.

X

Fabulous, well done for getting rid

We done you ! Stay strong now you have put him in the bin... make sure you leave him there !

Well it didn’t really take much for him to go did it? No pleading then

Melanie tonia Evans does good videos on YouTube about his kind (narcissists ect) sometimes it's good to hear it from the perspective of others who have witnesses their shite. Makes you feel less alone.