Just received solicitor’s email

[KnottedStomach]

I just received an email from a solicitor saying thanks for our chat yesterday (we didn’t chat). It was sent to me and DH. It sounds like he was trying to get finances in order before initiating a split. He talked about protecting his death in service benefit, trying to say that he contributed to my parents house (untrue) and trying to protect that money. We lent them 40% of the amount he says he gave and they have already paid half back.

I replied to the solicitor copying in DH. I’m in bed with Coronavirus. He’s upstairs working. I’m waiting for a massive showdown and I’m scared.

I don’t think he would hurt me but he’s very intelligent, persuasive and can be verbally aggressive/insistent.

I’m really scared.

Bloody hell you poor thing. As if you need that shock on top of fucking coronavirus.

What kind of reply did you send to the solicitor?

Is there a close friend / family member you can let know what's happened, in case you need to ask for help later on when he sees it?

Poor you. Can you go somewhere else to recover? I wouldn't be drawn on entering any verbal wars, refuse to discuss until you've recovered.

He’s obviously busy getting his ducks in a row. I suggest you do the same.

What a dick, trying to get ahead of you while you’re ill.

Blimey. What a shock. and to do that when you’re poorly!! At least you’ve got a heads up. How did the solicitor get your email address?

Has the solicitor replied?

Definitely time to get your own advice as it appears you think your husband is planning to leave you. Bastard.

Did you know this was coming?

Omg, how horrendous for you. Focus on your health and don't engage if he becomes belligerent.

Do you have children?

Shit, that is a shock. It’s good that you saw the email though.

How was your relationship leading up to this?

Practically speaking, so you have any sort of paper trail for the money you lent to your parents and their repayments so far? I expect bank statements can probe that he is lying about this.

I hope you get the information and answers that you need when you speak to your DH.

We’re all here for you.

How did the solicitor know your email address? I'm amazed you got that response. Are you sure it's actually from a solicitor?

That’s awful behaviour from him. Time to contact your own solicitor I think.

My dad did something similar to my mum.

What a nasty thing to do.

Goodness. I'd think the solicitor may be in a bit of trouble if he's replied to your email address, or do you share one?

Ouch what a bastard!

I wouldn’t worry about the money lent to your parents. There will be a paper trail for that and details of money paid back. He can’t just say he lent them an amount and for that to be taken as true. Everything will need proof. I’d suggest you email him copying in the solicitor and say “as you seem to be initiating a divorce behind my back please take this as notice to leave this property immediately” you might as well go ballistic on him. And yes there should be a showdown. How dare he. Don’t be passive. Call your friends and family and ask for support.

Oh bless you that’s an horrendous shock. Have you evidence of his lies? How did the solicitor have your email to copy you in? Good thing he did I suppose.

Just focus on protecting yourself and getting well for now. If you have to strength to gather any paperwork do, but your health is also important.

Big hand hold

What a shock OP. How did the solicitor get your email?! Sending hugs

Ohh your poor thing. Keep us posted want to check you are okay. X

I would have talked to my DH about the email before making assumptions and writing the solicitor back.
He might have been getting his affairs in order in case one of you dies. One of you being sick with it can give rise to all kinds of what if thoughts.

Maybe it was husband's plan that you found out this way .

Thinking about this further, is there any way this could be related to your DH writing a will, rather than planning a divorce?

Why in earth did he give the solicitor your email address?!

I presume DH gave the solicitor my email address.

We have 2 children.

I can’t recover somewhere else as we also have another sick relative living with us. When I’m not at work I look after everyone.

I definitely don’t want to leave this house.

We have had relationship problems for a while but never really speak about them. He’s been colder in the last couple of weeks.

DH never does anything. I sort out everything. This was clearly done behind my back.

Yes I think it’s dressed up as being about a will but we would discuss it first.

Also the stuff about protecting his share in my parents house was clearly about a possible split.

He has no share in my parents house.

I replied to the solicitor saying had he sent it to us by mistake because I don’t recall having had a zoom call with him yesterday.