Just received solicitor’s email

[KnottedStomach]

I just received an email from a solicitor saying thanks for our chat yesterday (we didn’t chat). It was sent to me and DH. It sounds like he was trying to get finances in order before initiating a split. He talked about protecting his death in service benefit, trying to say that he contributed to my parents house (untrue) and trying to protect that money. We lent them 40% of the amount he says he gave and they have already paid half back.

I replied to the solicitor copying in DH. I’m in bed with Coronavirus. He’s upstairs working. I’m waiting for a massive showdown and I’m scared.

I don’t think he would hurt me but he’s very intelligent, persuasive and can be verbally aggressive/insistent.

I’m really scared.

I have told a couple of very close friends, one of whom is a solicitor

Solicitor hasn’t replied.

It also laid out who our children will go to if we die, which we hadn’t agreed on.

I think you might be overreacting here, all of that sounds exactly like the things i just sorted out for my will.

Forward the email to your close solicitor friend

You need back up

What a c*nt your h appears to be.

Sorry, he is completely planning a split, and well done for talking to your friends about it, you've done nothing to hide.

Solicitor will now realise they have fucked up and won't reply to you.
What a cunt

Sounds like a will to me.

Whatever you do: do NOT leave the house.

I think the plans for your children is the worst thing and mean all best are off. He is no longer your husband, your friend or on your team. Git.

I think you might be overreacting here, all of that sounds exactly like the things i just sorted out for my will.

Presumably you didn’t tell your solicitor that you invested £250k in your parents in laws house though, when you didn’t? And try to get that money protected in the event of a split/death?

Why would he give the solicitor your email address?

It's all very odd.

It also laid out who our children will go to if we die, which we hadn’t agreed on

Surely joint consent is required for this?

WOW... what a fuck up by that lawyer

I suspect the call started about wills, the solicitor took email addresses, then it evolved into more and DH didn’t say “don’t copy in my wife”.

what a mess if it is not about a will, which many people have been making recently, especially key workers.

It was a draft of the topics of the conversation with a list of outstanding information like my parents contact details!!!

I agree with getting your own legal advice as precaution, but..

..if he was secretly planning a split, why on Earth would he have given his solicitor your email address? And sending the email to you as well would be an amazing cock-up from a family solicitor, whose meat & drink is this sort of stuff (I would be less surprised if, say, a conveyancing solicitor erroneously assumed that both a husband & wife should be copied in).

I think the solicitor is rubbish. You want a solicitor to have good attention to detail and he spelled my name differently/wrong on several occasions. Plus the right way too.

It was from a wills solicitor but strayed into all these other topics.

I don’t think this was one of those 30 minute chats with a divorce solicitor. It was about protecting his estate.

If there's a chance it could be just about wills (or sold that way to you) then keep your suspicions to yourself and quietly get your own ducks in a row.

“DH never does anything. I sort out everything. This was clearly done behind my back.“

The man can’t even write his own will and have you copied on the emails with his will solicitor without you accusing him of going behind your back?

Surely you’ll find out soon enough as your DH will see youve been CCed into a conversation he wasn’t planning on you seeing yet.

If you're sure you're not overreacting, then you need to get your own solicitor asap, and ask your husband to look into somewhere else to live post lockdown

I do think you may be jumping to conclusions. It's a will solicitor, you currently have coronavirus (so DH will sensibly be thinking about protecting the DC in the event of something happening to either of you), and the questions all seem normal for a will.

The question about your parents' house probably arises from the solicitor asking about the value of DH's estate. "We have lent £100k (or whatever is is) to my wife's parents, but they are paying it back" would be a perfectly normal thing to note.

Sounds like estate planning which is common when preparing a will.

Not necessarily a split at all, but often issues overlap in family/life planning issues.

However, be very cautious if he is trying to create a legal charge on your parents property, especially if this was never agreed. They need legal advice asap.

Also wishes as to who cares for the children the event of death aren't set in stone at this stage - this can be easily changed and isn't automatically binding. Their placement has to be in the children's best interests. But if you object, certainly confirm this in writing.

Doesn't automatically sound like a split to me, but definitely requires a long and detailed conversation. Good luck, and hope you feel better soon.