Just received solicitor’s email

[KnottedStomach]

I just received an email from a solicitor saying thanks for our chat yesterday (we didn’t chat). It was sent to me and DH. It sounds like he was trying to get finances in order before initiating a split. He talked about protecting his death in service benefit, trying to say that he contributed to my parents house (untrue) and trying to protect that money. We lent them 40% of the amount he says he gave and they have already paid half back.

I replied to the solicitor copying in DH. I’m in bed with Coronavirus. He’s upstairs working. I’m waiting for a massive showdown and I’m scared.

I don’t think he would hurt me but he’s very intelligent, persuasive and can be verbally aggressive/insistent.

I’m really scared.

“And try to get that money protected in the event of a split/death?”

Since it was a will solicitor, it would only have been in relation to death, not splitting. And he may have been honestly mistaken about the house money, you seem fixated on the figure being wrong.

OP I think you are being a bit irrational maybe due to being ill with Covid and feverish.

And surely it is much more likely that he has asked the solicitor to copy you in, than that the solicitor did so by accident?

Plunderaccordment wouldn’t you discuss getting your will done with your partner and the children’s guardians in event of both you and your partner dying is definitely something you both discuss and agree on together not a unilateral decision of one partner.

Are you sure he isn’t just crapping himself that he could die from this? The investment in your parents house could easily be a misunderstanding from the solicitor or your dh not explaining himself in a panic. I’m not saying I’m right. I just think it is something to consider.

A solicitor who specialised in wills.and estate planning is fairly unlikely to just act for your DH in a divorce off the side of his desk. He'd refer him to a divorce/family law solicitor.

It sounds like your relationship has some issues ATM but I think you're getting ahead of yourself.

oh and when writing a will and working out assets you would consider what you needed to think about should your beneficiaries die. Hence, why it could be worded with discussions about a split - if he is contemplating a split, he would be unwise to put her as a beneficiary for everything. Matters for things like CGT/IHT on assets.

I also think you’ve jumped to an incorrect assumption here. A solicitor doing wills is unlikely to also be a divorce lawyer and if he was he’d not copy you in. He would if it was about wills. The share in your parents house would be because of what was due to your child

The question is why you assumed divorce?

I’d say you might be jumping to the conclusions, if there wasn’t the issue of claiming a stake in your parents house that isn’t true. That’s a big red flag.

Yeah, this sounds exactly like the sort of conversation we had with a solicitor about wills.

We have relationship problems. When we spoke about possibly splitting up a year or so ago he said he wanted part of my parents house as he would miss out on the inheritance and he felt he was owed some. So this is his way of trying to get some money. He told the solicitor we gave them £250k. We actually lent them £100k and they have paid back £50k already. So they owe us £50k, £25k of which is my husbands. Not £250k or £125k.

Why would he have given the solicitor your email address?

I draft wills, although in Canada. If I were advising a client, I'd tell them to put in the loan to your parents as well. It's not about taking a share of your parents' property, it's about ensuring that your children are protected.

Were I to speculate, it would be that these times have made your husband think about what would happen if he contracted COVID-19, and he wants to be prepared.

The solicitor didn't meet with you, so the lack of attention re your name is understandable.

He just emailed me and said he got a free will session through work.

I can’t face addressing the parents house issue with him. It will get unpleasant.

I’m hoping that all the info regarding your parents house is documented and there is no room for interpretation.

There is nothing documented. No agreement. I agree he is at risk of losing £25k if we split. I would of course give that to him under all circumstances. I’m happy to put that in writing.

What does he mean he would be missing out on the inheritance? It isnt his inheritance, and a divorce cant take into consideration money which you dont have yet and may never have (other than pensions of course).

I assume you did everything above board with the loan? Documents and agreement stating that it was a loan and not an investment and making it clear you had no claim on any future profits etc? If you didnt do that, then you need to get out all communications between you and your parents to try and see what you can prove.

It could very well be about wills.

Talking about how money was spent / loaned / invested is perfectly normal in discusisng wills and estate planning.

I'm sorry but what on Earth makes him think he is entitled to any part of your parents estate?
That's utterly ridiculous!
Nobody is entitled to any part of anyone's estate.
I would not trust this man at all!

Estate planning when your wife is unwell in bed with a virus that can become urgent sounds very suspicious to me. I get the feeling he's trying it on hugely.

and yes- a solicitor who does wills is not usually a solicitor doing divorces. And they certainly would NOT be ccing you into e-mails with a divorce because they can act for one client, wheras acting for a husband and wife both is normal in wills.

Hand on heart I think you have leapt to the wrong conclusion.

Email back with the correct figures regarding your parent's house, and emphasise that this was a loan, not an investment and all he us entitled to us the 25k they owe him. Nothing more and nothing in the future.

WTF? He thinks he's 'owed' a percentage of the value of your parents' house in case you split, your potential inheritance?!?

He's living in cloud fucking cuckoo land.

I'd initiate divorce as soon as you're back on your feet so any inheritance down the line has nothing to do with the greedy bastard.

Surely something is document somewhere because when your parents bought the house, their solicitor should have asked them where the money was coming from? It should be recorded there somewhere? Plus you would have bank statements showing the amount of transfer, which would prove the figure.

Inheritance received after divorce is irrelevant. If he leaves the family then he cannot expect to get a share of anything from your parents. What a knob. However, if your parents owe you money and you aren't the only beneficiary, then it should be written into their wills that the £100K reducing balance is owed to you before the rest of the estate is settled.

Regarding who gets the kids if you both go at the same time etc, needs to be discussed between you and agreed upon.

Any chance if the solicitor isn’t very good that he has mistyped 25k as 250k?

If the solicitor / legal secretary has spelled your name wrong is there a possibility the figure is a typo as well?