Is he a 'bad' boyfriend? Am i heading for trouble?

[honeyy]

I have been seeing my bf for 1 year. The past few months, I have had health problems with my heart, and going in and out of hospital.

I was admitted into hospital last week, and treated. My bf said he was glad i'm feeling better. We don't live together so we cannot see each other due to covid-19.

One night, about 11pm, I took a turn for the worse and called for an ambulance. I was told I needed an emergency operation straight away.

I called my bf at midnight to let him know, but he didnt answer. I thought he must be asleep so decided to text him, however in that moment, my sister called. We spent 25 mins talking. I logged onto whatsapp, and my bf was online. I was just about to text him, but the nurse came to ask me some questions. This took about 15 mins.

I logged back onto whatsapp, and my bf was online. and he text me in that momeny. He said, he missed my call as he was playing games online and chatting to his friends on the phone, at the same time they were playing.

I messaged him and said I called because it was an emergency.

He replied, he didnt know I was calling for an emergency. I replied saying, something happened so needed to speak to him, rather than text.

He text, what happened, are you ok?

I said, I wasnt okay, and then he replied, so do you want me to call then?

I rang him and he answered I told him i was having an operation.

It is very out of character for me to ring him late night and he said, he knows that and just thought I was messing around and prank ringing him.

I had my operation and got one text the next day at 8pm, saying ''you ok?''

I dont even know how im supposed to feel?

@Whaddyathinkofthis I know, I hate messaging too. I rather speak on the phone. Texting can be assumed in different tones by different people.

An example, he asked me if I could create some graphics for his book, he is working on.

We were discussing this, I was showing him designs and mood boards I could work with and he vanished for the evening 😂😂

@triedandtestedteacher yes. My immediate thought was to ring my bf and talk to him. For comfort but also because I didn’t want to just vanish and then he find out i was having surgery and didn’t tell him.

I didn’t want him to feel bad.

Tbh, that does sound rude.

Just out of curiously, if anyone reads this, generally as time goes on in relationship, do you gain more or less interest with a loved one?

At the start, my bf was attentive in a good way- asking questions, being interested. Paying attention. Constant communication.

And now, a year later, it is this....

I thought relationships grow and get stronger and attraction grows. What is the point in being together and investing time, if it is this hard.

At a year, if he wasn't talking about engagement I would be pulling a slow fade. Men get too comfortable if you give them too much reassurance by being available all the time. You need to be busier and less available. My husband got one date per week until engagement and then when the date was booked I let him have two nights a week lol. Of course, a lot of people will come on and tell me what an old fashioned cow I am now...

You would not expect this level of disinterest within a year, does not bode well for longer term.

Thanks guys! Appreciate all the advice today :)

I agree with @Quitthat. Esp 1 year into a relationship, you’d expect quicker contact after you had your operation.

Is he young? He’s acting like a carefree teenager with no thought in his vacant little head other than his own pleasure.

I’d be tempted to bin a d move on to someone who really cares about you.

Glad your OP went well.