Why do I have no real friends?

[AlwaysAllegra]

I've often wondered this since I was about 12 years old. But it seems the older I get the quantity and quality of my friendships decline and have become non-existent. My DH, DM, DD and DB all say it is down to jealousy, but surely it must be more?
I have always been quite insecure, I have strong morals and ethics, I own 3 properties and a lovely car, most people tell me I'm very pretty/attractive, I don't drink or smoke, I'm slim(ish), I've got a masters degree and I've started my own law firm business. Since starting my own business most of my friends have been really unsupportive, not recommending me, liking my business page etc even though I've text and asked if they could to help promote my business. But it hasn't just been that, I can honestly look around and say that not one of my friends is truly happy for me or supportive and I wish I had an amazing BF like others do.
I'm the person everyone comes to for advise, help or a problem but after sending everyone a Happy Easter WhatsApp, no one got back to me and I just realised I have no friends... Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

It's called diplomacy Londubh!

You're an attractive, intelligent, successful & strong lady. And your'e kind and considerate. They're Jealous of you because you're a threat & they most probably have unhappy lives/marriages anyway. You don't need them. When Someone shows you who they are.. Believe them. Your real friends will show you who they are by their actions. Move forwards and continue to be the great Woman that you are x

All of my friends are attractive, intelligent, strong and successful women, in their different ways. None of them lacks friends.

Hi OP, I would see what happens after the pandemic as I think everyone is stressed out, 'switching off' or putting life on hold at the moment as they can't meet up with people etc.

Pot, kettle, black regarding some of the people on here making negative assumptions about you - yet they are being negative themselves! Ignore the nasty people on here. It was brave of you to ask for help, being aware of how you project yourself and want to rectify your situation.

If after the pandemic your friends are unresponsive it could be that the friendships have grown apart. Try meetup.com, Ladies Circle or Facebook groups to meet new people.

Good luck OP, everyone deserve to be happy.

Op. Do you take an interest in other people?
Generally people love talking about themselves Ask questions. Try to remember things about them. Their job/ kids/ etc

On the other side of the coin, do you only ask questions. I know someone who asks, asks, and asks. She is socially awkward but being with her is like being interrogated. In return, she doesn't volunteer any information about herself. Even when asked a direction question such as 'whose party did you go to', she replies 'a friend'. Yet she continues to interrogate other people to the point of being very intrusive and uncomfortable. I avoid her as much as possible.

It is possible that people are envious and after meeting you, they feel down about how they are doing in life themselves. I have stopped contacting some people who appear to have it all because I felt down after meeting them. Comparison is the thief of joy etc.

I have some fantastic friends. I am missing them like crazy! I am not in a position to need them for anything (such as recommending me to someone) other than pure undiluted friendship. I don't care what they look like (though they all look very smart to me), most have higher qualifications than me, are more 'arty' than me , some are more well read than me but we all get on fine! Perhaps it helps that none of us is socially awkward. Well, one insisted that she was but really she isn't. Some who are socially awkward come across as 'rude'. She is just a bit shy. We all take an interest in each other too.

“I agree with showing vulnerability to others, it isn't something I'm good with. I never ask for help, probably because I've had so many people let me down in the past. I think asking my friends to help promote my firm was the first time in a long time I asked for help and it just wasn't reciprocated.”

It may well be this. You may just seem so sorted that it doesn’t occur to people that there is scope for an emotional connection with you.

Btw - huge congrats on setting up your own law firm. Wishing you all success with it!

People connect with others by remembering how you made them feel. And you should judge a friendship about how you feel when you have left them.

Very wise advice from Gutterton

Hi OP,

I am sickened by the responses on this thread.

I can't say why you are struggling with your friendships sorry. I don't think anyone here can.

What I will say is that in my experience it is never jealousy. So knock that thought on the head.

I don't think you should try to change yourself and hope people will like you. Embrace yourself and the right people for you will come into your life.

Not every friendship group looks like an episode of sex and the city. Maybe you get on better with men. Maybe you have more in common with another business owner. Who knows?

What I do know is a friendship that makes you feel bad is not worth having. So if they can't be bothered then don't be bothered with them. Don't be annoyed or anything (after all you don't actually know how they feel) but let them make equal effort.

Good luck. You have plenty good in your life so try not to let this get you down.