Do many women have good, enjoyable sex lives after menopause?

[AnotherDayAnotherQuestion]

I'm in my early 40s, happily married for 20 years, and have always had a relatively high sex drive which is well matched to DH's. However, I've recently had some times when I can happily go quite a bit longer without sex, and I keep reading things which make me nervous about the future. Is this definitely going to change dramatically soon, during peri-menopause and menopause? I supposed I'm just wondering whether any older women have encouraging experiences to share, as I keep reading about how you have to redefine your relationship, etc.. I'm not asking for details and am not a troll/pervert - I've been on here yonks, but am serial NCer.
Thank you!

I’m not snappy and irritable but I’m also not feeling supremely confident and sexy lol (which is what was promised 🤣🤣)

@justanotherneighinparadise - Add new knickers and wine !

To those in stable, happy relationships who's libido has vanished and no longer want to have sex, how has this impacted your relationships and how do you manage the sex situation where presumably you still have a partner that wants an active sex life?

I run 35 miles a week and my figure is better than it was since mid 20's, but I still have no desire for sex. I wonder if it was the man I was with that has put me off (loooooong list of drawbacks) rather than the menopause, and now I have no opportunity to get my libido back and no desire to date/sleep with anyone again.

@Knittingnanny and others who use vaginal capsules. What brand do you use?

zaphod never underestimate how having sex with the wrong man long term can affect your libido. I literally thought mine had died, I never would have thought it could come back with such a vengeance. I totally credit it to having sex with new partners who just couldn’t get enough of me. As i haven’t had hormone problems re menopause it was 100% psychological for me.

Thanks TigerDater. You've given me hope...

Now I just have to find a man who wants a woman who has the body of a twenty five year old and the face and brain of a fifty nine year old...

Actually, I might just stick to chocolate.

@Musti are you asking about my supplements ?

Maca I take this one www.ivitality.co.uk/shop/vitamins-supplements/energy/viridian-organic-maca-root-500mg/

Some Maca information you don't need the book she is flogging!

bit.ly/2XE69Ht

I drink Maca milk at night too.

My beautiful happy tablets www.biovea.com/uk/product/detail/2443/pueraria-mirifica-500mg-100-vegetarian-capsules/

They actually ship from US but don't take that long I think I got free standard I'm going to buy some more.

*standard shipping

I am 50. I had a hysterectomy in late 30s and am on an oestrogen patch, I dont think it is large dose but yes, still having great sex. I have been with DH for over 34 years. We are not at it all the time as in the beginning but mostly at weekends, around 4-5 times. I also orgasm every day. Have to use lube though but thats not a problem.

I also make sure that I do my pelvic floor exercises every day and use a kegel training ball weight that I insert every morning for around half an hour. Keeps things trim

zaphod I found Tinder was full of such men! Admittedly I made it pretty clear I wanted sex from them (not just sex though) because I saw it as the antidote to the damage wreaked in the previous 10 years. From that, and to my surprise, a relationship with a frankly insatiable younger man has emerged. It won’t last, but I don’t need it to. God I love being late 50s!

@TigerDater you sound like fun if you ever fancy a drink to compare notes post lockdown pm me

Yeah, Tiger, but I was married to a man 21 years younger for a good while before Terrible Lover ex' so I've had too much exposure to younger men for me to now think it's a good idea!

I may go in for cats in a big way. After the chocolate, obviously.

21 years is a big age gap. Mine is only 7. I fully endorse both cats/dogs and chocolate before men, by the way, he is not even 3rd on my list! But sex is very life-enhancing if it’s good, obviously.

www.yesyesyes.org Recommend even for day to day vaginal health

@justanotherneighinparadise how can I obtain bio identical hormones please?
From GP? Is it a natural form of HRT?

Madcatladyforever - I haven’t read the whole thread so this may have already been discussed, but my doctor prescribed testogel about a year ago. I had my levels checked and they were low. I apply a small pump every other day which brings my levels to ‘normal’. One small pump a day raised my levels too high (I was tested again after 6 weeks usage). I’ve definitely noticed a difference in my libido and energy levels generally.

Gosh, all the responses are so interesting and helpful - and just go to show the enormous variation in the effects of menopause (and peri- and post-) on our sex drives as maturing women.
The oestrogen gels sound very useful to know about (I don't think I'll be allowed HRT because of focal migraines on the pill in the past). Thanks so much for sharing experiences - you're all fabulous. I wonder whether, if we were taught more about female ageing and menopause at schools, this would all feel less unknown and scary...

Still peri here, can't get enough, helps that I have a relatively new dp who has similar on his mind (both out of long stale marriages, not by either of our choices but hey ho, fell on our feet!)

I’m looking at this , and actually considering the HRT . I wasn’t really aware that was meant to increase libido .
I’m 53, had an ablation so haven’t had periods since then (2013). Assuming I’m peri menopause.
Love my DH, still very attracted to him , but I have no desire for sex , none at all . Can’t imagine a time that I will actually want it again .
Thank you for posting your experiences feeling a bit more positive , in that I don’t spend the rest of my life feeling like this .I will take a look into HRT , maybe talk to the doc when things have calmed down .

@Sacredspace I don’t think the GP offer it. I pay privately through the Marion Gluck affiliates clinic in Surrey.

Mid fifties, through the menopause and on hrt, I don't think I'd care if I never had sex again. I just don't feel desire and also have a lot of pain due to vaginal atrophy, despite using local hrt. It's just not worth the effort imo.

Well ladies as a result of this thread even though I'm quite happy with things down there.

I'm going one step further and having laser tightening. Online consultation booked and then nearly £500 later after treatment I'm going to be one happy lady.

@justanotherneighinparadise ok thank you.

63 here, never been better. Toy boy had better be extremely fit after this lockdown...