What do I do to salvage this?

[Happygolucky444]

Sorry, feel like we have all got more important things to worry about than my love life but would appreciate some help.

3 months in to an exclusive relationship that has moved fast...he took me away to the US for a long weekend etc.

He has some complex issues due to his past and I was not aware that March is a tough time for him. He basically blanked me as soon as we arrived home and after 10 days of no calls and only a few very distant msgs, I assumed I had annoyed him on holiday and he was no longer interested. I tried to arrange to meet to chat through which he cancelled so I messaged him saying I felt he no longer wanted this so as upset as I was, I was finishing things. I expected him to agree his feelings had changed but he said he was very sad, he did like me and felt it was a sudden decision. I tried to salvage in light of this by telling him why I had sent the message and how i felt about him and he asked for thinking time as he is confused. That was 2 weeks ago and with lockdown, I'm struggling massively. He text twice with things like "I don't know what to do, wish I could flick a switch and make a decision". My stomach is in bits.
Do I message him again to tell him how much I care and am sorry, or do I leave it and hope he misses me? So hard....

No. It takes however long a narc needs to reel you in. Could be 3 months, could be 2 years. That's dangerous and misleading info

Candy, I was just quoting what I've read on here about the 3 month thing, but you're right it could be any length of time. It took 3 months in my case because that was the length of time he managed to keep a lid on his temper.

@Happygolucky444, at the 3 month mark, he lost his temper with me over something trivial. In the early days it wasn't as noticeable as I didn't see him as often. Right from the start though there was that niggling doubt. A couple of years in and I'm not sure now what had happened, but I told him it was over, and he turned on the waterworks, so I bent and took him back. It's always seemed very complex, but when I look back it was very simple, he's a dominating control freak, who when is in a corner either gets aggressive and makes various threats. He had a whole host of problems, which I tried to help him with. I now feel like a complete mug for being used. He's selfish through and through. I could be crawling around ill on the floor and he would still expect me to cook for him. He's never physically hurt me, which he thinks makes everything else alright! I dread getting this virus because it's been hell at times being ill, and if I do I hope I come through it so I can finally get away from him. I'm working on parting company before, if I can, but true to form I know he will dig his heels in. The weaker I get the harder it is to get away from him and he knows it.

@EngagedAgain sorry if I sounded sharp. It's just that I think they'll invest whatever time is needed to hook you. Could be three months could be two years - the point is they know they're playing a game. Just depends how long. Hope you're ok

Candy, that's ok, I didn't take offence. I know things sometimes come over as sharp but they're not necessarily meant to be. And thanks, I will keep trying to get where I want to be.

@Happygolucky444, not sure why that's happening re, the pm.