DH masturbating while I deal with the baby!?

[DontSayIDidntTellYou]

So off the bat, let me just say that yes, I know there are far bigger problems going on in the world right now, but I really just need to quickly vent and get some different perspectives!

So dh, myself and our DC’s live in a relatively small flat.
As you come out of our lounge, our bedroom door is directly to your right, I’m talking inches away from our lounge. We have no door to our front room as we took it off years ago for extra space, and our bedroom door is always open. This may seem like a weird detail to be mentioning, but if you bear with me, you’ll see why I’m telling you that.

So our youngest dc just woke up. He’s a breastfed baby. I took myself off in to our bedroom to feed the baby, he fed, and fell back to sleep within minutes. I decided to lay down with him for an extra few minutes to make sure he was properly asleep before getting back up as I didn’t want to disturb him.

However, a matter of seconds before I thought ‘right, I can leave him now’, and a grand total of maybe 5 minutes (or less!) of me being gone from the front room, I started hearing the undeniable sounds of my DH umm, enjoying himself, so to speak.

I’m sure he must sort himself while I’m in the flat (perhaps while he’s in the bath or while I’m asleep, I don’t know! We have three DC’s 3 and under so I don’t know when and where he’s able to do it!), but, to my knowledge, he’s never been this brazen before. I was literally 12 steps away, wide awake, feeding our baby and planning to come back to the lounge at any given minute....

I know this isn’t AIBU.. but AIBU to think you don’t start jacking off the moment your mrs steps out of the room to feed your baby? Knowing the bedroom door was open and I was literally a matter of feet away!?

I’m (likely irrationally) annoyed right now, but something about it isn’t sitting right with me.
I’ve told him in the past that I’d rather him not whack off when I’m awake in the flat - particularly if I’m dealing with the kids - but obviously with everything that’s going on right now, we’re both at home so I understand that his ‘personal’ time is slightly strained now.

I came back in to the front room clearly before he’d had the chance to finish, and he looked startled and flustered when he saw me and very quickly rearranged the blanket that was over his lap.
But still. How would you feel?!

Totally inappropriate

I don’t know really, I don’t think I’d be too bothered if he’s a good partner and father.
If it does annoy you though you wouldn’t be unreasonable to ask him to do it in private and not while the children need tending to

Oh I’ve just seen you’ve already asked him! In that case YANBU

Wouldn't be thrilled about it
I'd probably laugh and tell him to do that on his own time in future.

I’d be fucking raging TBH! I’m perhaps making assumptions here but when did he last do something to make you feel good? I’m not talking about sex, but little things like making sure you’ve got water/juice when feeding, clean clothes etc?
Everyone needs a release but still, that’s a bit much.
Hope you’re ok x

Maybe he thought you'd fallen asleep in there?

Ick.

Where were the other two children?

That's grim.

You could hear him??! I'd have gone in with a bucket of cold water.

That’s gross. I would be so angry.

Yes, where were the other children!

My partner does it in the morning while I'm dozing. It's quite annoying but he does have a really high sex drive and mine is almost non existent.

I'm not sure when you expect him to do if he can't do it while you're awake in the flat and we're on a lockdown tbh

He knows how I feel about him doing it while I'm nearby/sorting the DC's out, so he's aware it'd both upset and piss me off if I caught him doing it in the middle of the evening while I'm dealing with our baby!

I just think, how difficult is it to take yourself off to the bathroom!? The bathroom is further away, for starters, has a fucking door so I wouldn't have been able to hear/walk in on him, and yknow, wipes to ejaculate in to! Where the fuck was he planning on shooting his load?! On to the blanket!?

The other DC's are asleep in their room. And he knows I wouldn't have fallen asleep. I'm the sort of person that takes well over an hour to fall asleep after he crashes out every night. I'm an exhausted mum, don't get me wrong, but I can also quite easily stay up until 3am if I wanted to.

I wouldn’t be angry I don’t think but would definitely find it odd and quite awkward. Maybe he thought you had gone to bed?

That's gross, really gross. I'd be mad and I'd let him know it too

Grim. What the fuck was suddenly so arousing? Did he have tissues handy or was he going to spunk all over the blanket?

It wouldn’t bother me at all as long as the other children were safely in bed.

Grim.

Utterly utterly grim.

You're not overreacting OP you are underreacting.

Now come on give us the massive drip feed of the rest of the horrible things he does.

Is it putting you off having sex with him?

Although, if he wasn't blatantly watching porn and was simply lying there doing it, that wouldn't annoy me as much as if he was watching porn.

Sorry, but I'd hate this. Fucking hell, take a few minutes in the bathroom and sort yourself out. But that is just grim.

I’d be disgusted.

Must admit I didn’t think of the logistics of where he would shoot his load 😳

Yeah it's also the question of what the hell got him aroused to the point he needed to start jacking off a matter of minutes after I'd left the room. Ugh.

Okay well I'm glad quite a few of you think it's grim too! I just feel like there's a time and place for that sort of thing, and laying on our sofa when I'm in the next room, sorting out our kid and can hear him, just isn't on.

Go to the bathroom, DH, ffs. You know I'm always back in a few minutes.

No decent father would be wanking while his partner was single handedly sorting out his DC btw.

I can't believe that even needs to be said.

How low can your standards go.

Don't really see the big deal. Assume he thought you'd take longer, and that he had privacy.

Don't really get the "grim"/"gross" comments- presumably they've never masturbated? 🤔