Massively overstepped the mark with colleague

[BlackCatFan]

I wondered if I could have some advice. I've never been in this situation before.
I started a new job recently, it's well paid (for me) and I tried very hard to get it. Was pleased when I was offered it.

I started with three other new people. One of the guys I sort of noticed, he was generally friendly with me. I thought nothing of it.

We went on a training course and while we had some free time we ended up getting chatting. Turns out we have a great deal in common, especially music which is my thing. He what's app'd me a playlist he'd made. Didn't think much of it, thought I'd made a new friend which I was happy about.

One Friday afternoon we had a long chat about all sorts. I saw him talking to another colleague and as soon as I entered the room he cut the chat short and walked straight to my desk. That night he what's apped me and talked about weekend plans. Nothing weird.

A lot has happened in one week and we ended up flirting which has moved on to full on sexting. Including images......

I like him, and I tried to pull back but I wasn't strong enough. I genuinely think it will be ok at work as long as I'm professional and mature but I still worry about my job

I've looked up some policies and it looks like it's ok to have a work relationship as long as it doesn't disrupt work.

Equally I'm worried he just sees me as a shag

Does anyone have any thoughts on what I should do? Thank you

I am trying to be calm. I'm not back at work until the 6th so I have time to get myself together. I asked him if we should break the rules and have a date at his house but he agreed it wouldn't be right.

Tea cup storm behave

its not an intimate picture you were talking about tattoos

So...you sexted him pictures of your feet?
Why the angst?
Is it that you're not single?

This also could be the start of something good, don't let the fear ruin it, either.

Miaow- he shared an intimate one but I didn't reciprocate.

So he sent you a dick picture but you didn't send a picture of either your vulva or your breasts? Relax then.

If either of you are in a relationship already stop contacting each other unless it is clearly work related. If you are both single and you find him attractive then continue the friendly chat and see where things lead when you can socialise again. Don't send photos of your breasts or vulva and tell him you don't think it's a good idea for to send photos of his dick to someone who hasn't seen it in real life.

@BlackCatFan so that's ok then isn't it? I don't really understand what you're worried about as you've only sent a foot pic!
I'm assuming you're both single, right?

Maybe I should clarify; he did share an intimate image of himself however I sent a photo of my tattoos which are on my feet. Ugh I feel stupid now.

Oh ffs I refreshed the page and got to that ^^

Can't stop laughing now. Sexting with 'images' indeed

he did share an intimate image of himself

He sent you a dick pic? What a charmer!

I'm single I'm not 100% sure he is. There is a woman he mentions sometimes, and in general chat I asked him what his girlfriend does for a job and he said 'she isn't my girlfriend, just a friend I go to the allotment with' (I know, allotment.. it's cute though).
Should I broach this now???

Sending intimate pictures is a complete NoNo.....it ALWAYS leaves the sender vulnerable.

Never ever do it...is my position.

Do not resign a job you want to keep OP.

But reflect on the old vulgar advice of "not messing where you eat".

You are in the job 5 minutes, slow down.

Quickest way to be deemed unprofessional and a bit dim is "messing where you eat".

Pull back, have a good hard think about how you want to come across in this job.

Stop chasing him.

Back off.

Focus on keeping a job, that pays you well and could give you a better future.

Cool it big time with him...

Brace yourself @WorraLiberty ....

🦶🏼 🦶🏼

I am really appreciating the advice. No one I can turn to about this.

Don't quit your job, sounds like you both got carried away, it happens.

Why don't you suggest a video call or something, perhaps share some more music and chat. Be honest with him, get to know him. Tell him that when you are all back at work, you need to keep your time there professional but you can talk, date, be friends outside work. Ask what he'd like to do.

Feet! 😄

I genuinely think it will be ok at work as long as I'm professional and mature...

I think that ship has sailed.

Lots of people meet their future husbands at work. Nothing wrong with it.
However at the moment with coronavirus they'll be no dating. Maybe you can move in together straight away. 😁
Or continue sexting. Life is short.
In ww2 all our grandmothers had a fine old time (sleeping with men) as in their words 'they may be dead the next day'.

Make sure he's single.

Unless he's got a foot fetish...not sure I'd believe the 'allotment ' friend.

What do you mean by:

I go to the allotment with' (I know, allotment.. it's cute though).

I’m single..

You mentioned your DP several days ago. Are you in an open relationship?

Doesn't sound like you've done anything that bad? Sexting probably wasn't a great idea but shit happens and you're both adults. I'd want to know more about the "allotment friend" before progressing any further though.

Fgs. Feet. This is a storm in a teacup. Maybe your relationship will develop. Perhaps not. Either way, crack on and have as much fun as you can but with good boundaries and enjoy your new job.