Light-hearted - What's the most trivial reason you've broken up with someone/declined a date?

[WokeOnTheWater]

Inspired by a different, more serious, thread but thought there must be some great, light-hearted stories about ridiculous, trivial or unreasonable things that have given you the 'ick'.

Gotta pass the time while we're all stuck inside.

He talked like Del Trotter, complete with throwing in bits of random French.

He was too thin

One showed up to a very formal event wearing what i could only describe as boys school shoes.

Lovely lovely bloke but on date 2 he laughed and a great big green balloon of snot came out of his nose and burst all over his face like bubble gum

Another guy, I still fell awful about this. But he asked me if he could buy me a drink and introduced himself, he had a terrible name, I was a bit drunk and responded with you can’t be called that, and burst out laughing and walked away. I know that’s bad.

oh god you’ve just reminded me of something shameful I did.

Similar scenario, guy chatting to me in a bar, I’m a bit tipsy. I ask his name, he tells me he’s called Dorian.

Me: “Oh, have you got a painting in the attic?” peers at him “HAHAHAHA obviously not.”

😬

During foreplay he appeared to be going for an intense,passionate gaze while he repeated "oh I like you, I REALLY like you..." in a sexy low growl. However it came off as a wild stare and the voice was very much like this link, 49 seconds in
Dumped after 2 dates.

Also the bald guy. He was lovely, but I realised once spending time with him that I wasn't attracted to him because he looked like Moby.

Oh and also the one who kept making "typos" in texts. They were always perfectly spelled ,with excellent grammar (one of the reasons I initially liked him so much) but if there was an opportunity to get a "rude" word in under the guise of a mistake, he'd be there. Typos especially crafted for "hilarity" Eg: "I'm minimising my boob collection....sorry, I mean book" "I will take a look at tit later....oops, it" you get the idea. It happened too often to be a mistake, and just wasn't funny enough to be a joke.

@candyfloss - I get exactly where you are coming from! I went on a date with a guy once who had weirdly small hands. He also persisted in talking about his ex wife and calling her a c**t despite me telling him how much I hated the word

I was 14 and saw a lad at school. Anyway he was a year older than me and on exam leave, and said he would come into school to see me. Said day it pissed it down with rain and he cycled about 8 miles, turned up looking like a drowned rat. Really didn't like him anymore. Next day he rang up and asked if I wanted to meet his mum for tea so I said I was visiting my gran's and said I didn't want to see him anymore. Brutal but 🤷‍♀️

One that really sticks in my mind was the guy who was much older than his OLD pictures. Turned up with a truly awful cream cable jumper, a white beard and balding - think captain birds eye 🙈😱

Another one; was seeing someone for about 18 months. Wasn't going well as had a very nasty , needy ex and he was weak. Had a bit of a falling out, made it up on the phone. Decides to come over to see me.

Happy days (🤔) except I opened my front door and saw him get out of his car holding his box of sex things (dressing up stuff you know the sort).... you know when you get the Ick feeling ????

That was it for him !

He texted "your lovely" after a very nice first date. There wasn't a second. I'm a grammar and apostrophe snob too.

One guy I had one date with was going on about what to say and what to say once I met his mum, I had known him for 3 hours at this point

what to say and what not to say was what I meant, and no it wasn’t the sort of date where you just “know” that a relationship will start.

He had a yellow car; he was actually really nice and as he was a personal trainer very attractive but I couldn’t understand why he purposefully chose a yellow car. I couldn’t go back to the gym after that either as he worked there and he and his colleagues would give me evil looks (we were all quite young)

So many issues with men and yellow and I can relate to that!

My ex chose for his mother to buy him a yellow and white striped hoody for his birthday, he was 36 not 16.

A guy I was dating back in 2016 would wear a bright yellow jacket rather than the navy blue one that he looked so sexy in, and that was more suitable for a 39 year old man!

Also yellow is a women’s colour more than a mans imo.

Bloke was a qualified ski instructor, I mentioned I'd love to go skiing on the dry slope and you can teach me, he said it no I can't do that because it's not allowed. I said oh that's OK I'm a novice but I can ski badly, so no one will know you can just give me tips but he had to follow rules. I just dumped him, it wasn't because he didn't want to teach me he just didn't want to break rules! Shame he wasn't the love of my life but very good looking and (literally) fit and we had a mutually fun time.

This was many years ago.

Used palm of hand to turn the steering wheel when reverse parking.

Arranging the second date over text. She spelled 'definitely' with an A. I am a terrible person. I bailed.

He shortened my name.

@TyroSaysMeow I always hate when men have bad spelling, I get embarrassed!

He sent me a slow motion wank video to 'seduce' me. Including the money shot.

Not something you want to see in slow motion, believe me.

Just remembered another.

He asked if my mum was hot because he wanted a mum/daughter threesome.

Oh and I went on a date with a man and stopped for lunch. We only had soup, which was fine, but he brought us both dessert spoons to eat it with.

Everytime someone walked past, I hid the spoon in the soup so that they wouldn't see.

Didn't see him again.

Oh and the man who told me he expected me to be 'fully shaved' when we next met - he hadn't got close enough to me to discover my pubic topiary habits and never would.

I was about to swipe right on a good looking guy on Tinder, when I read his bio and it said something like life is too short for tidy drawers, throw everything in and get on with living!😯 As a neat freak, who has perfectly tidy and organised drawers at all times, and even checks to make sure all the knives, forks and spoons are the same way around in the cutlery drawer every night before bed, you won't be surprised to hear I swiped left after that!

Another one who fancied himself as a musician started sending me a sound clip on WhatsApp every day after a first date!🙄 No 2nd date was planned.

These are brilliant, really cheered me up. Also, fanjo has slammed shut and I'm never going out with anyone, ever again!
Mine: OLD, he turned up, was 6 inches shorter than me and had tiny hands. He wanted to walk holding hands, I felt like I was leading a toddler along.
Another OLD, he was at least 10 years older than his picture, so in his 70s (I was 50) He wore a horrible shirt with a stiff collar and a terrible Marks & Spencer dad jumper. I had to fight him off me in the bar. He wanted me to go for a drive, I declined and fled.
Old friend who asked me out after my divorce; turned out to be horribly needy, mean with money, and didn't seem to have a penis when we were snogging and I put my hand down there.
First relationship when I was about 17: wore terrible nylon underpants with a dogs face on and 'Rover, the great pussy hunter' on them. Had a gambling/prostitute habit. No doubt I can pick'em alright!