Light-hearted - What's the most trivial reason you've broken up with someone/declined a date?

[WokeOnTheWater]

Inspired by a different, more serious, thread but thought there must be some great, light-hearted stories about ridiculous, trivial or unreasonable things that have given you the 'ick'.

Gotta pass the time while we're all stuck inside.

I didn’t like his shoes, sounds silly but he wore them a lot and they were horrible

Mind bogglingly terrible sex. Just awful. Awful. So bad it couldn't be worked on. Just awful.

Massive nipples Like teats you could have fed young from. Oooft... They were really icky. Gave me a bit of an obsession looking at male nipples to see if they were more common than I thought. Fortunately not.

Two spring to mind:

The one who, on our second date to a fairly upmarket restaurant that he chose and had been to previously, wore a very washed out t shirt that had distorted at the back so it was almost A-line, and he hadn't even ironed it.

The one who, after 2-3 dates, invited me for dinner. He took the day off work and made everything from scratch. He bought a fairy to sit on top of my dessert dish and to take home as a present - it wasn't ironically done, and I'm not the type to think a Tinkerbell toy is appropriate for a grown woman

I make these small sculptures (that everyone loves). He said "so tell me about your weird sculptures then" with a slight tone of voice.

No - think I'll pass.

One of the doors of his car was a different colour from the rest of it.

I was only young!

He licked his knife...I just couldn’t get past it!

@inmyshows I had a brief relationship with a man from OLD like this. Worse, he liked them being licked. I've also had another boyfriend who liked his nipples licked. I have to say - I hate it! I hate it!

The De Vinci Code - his favourite book ? How old was he, 11 !!

He asked me if I did French kissing.
And no, we were not 11.
I was in that van like a rat up a drainpipe.

Over dinner he said, "Oh you really make me chuckle." I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

First time I stayed at his he had a "romantic" picnic planned. And tried to feed me strawberries. I nearly turned inside out by cringing. It was also clear that he was more into me than I was him. And he wasn t over his ex. So I dumped him, told him he clearly wasn t over his ex. And told my friend to tell the ex that and then, happy news, they got back together.

I never told anyone about the strawberries. Friends told me how noble I was to step aside for true love and all that. I wasn't. I just couldn't look him in the face properly after the strawberries. (And I didnt really like him that much).

I’ve just stopped texting a guy after he sent me a couple of pictures of his slow cooker stew. His kitchen was a cluttered, filthy mess! Nope.

Oh and the man who wore cycling shorts (luminous) instead of pants. And who showed me his modelling portfolio. It was cringe. Really.

He did one of the loveliest things anyone has ever done for me but the modelling portfolio was shown to me, then the cycling shorts. It was too much. And my dad ended up dumping him for me (by accident).

On the 2nd date he kissed me goodnight in his car, which was nice but then tried to touch up my boobs, I said goodnight pretty quick as I felt uncomfortable and had already said I wanted to take things slow. I was in the house for 5 minutes when a text came through from him
'Were my lips not soft enough for you?'

Ffs!! Needless to say I blocked and deleted him straight away 🤦‍♀️

Love this thread!

Inch long earlobe hair.

Another, sending me regular voice clips of himself warbling Coldplay songs.

He had blonde arm hair. Policeman, handsome, nice car, took me out for a lovely meal. But that arm hair.....

I think that would be nice .

Another who's nipples liked being licked and tweaked! The least sexy thing on a man ever...

Weeny peeny man. I put my hand down his trousers in his car and my heart sank. It was so small there was literally nothing there. I just knew it wasnt going to work. He cried when I said we should just be friends. On our first date

He thought whispering ‘ penetration ‘ in my ear was sexy

He told me that he 'knew for a fact' that if you tried hard enough, you could make yourself not gay.

He then asked me to meet him after football practice to prove to his teammates that he knew a woman.

Years later, he messaged me on LinkedIn to tell me he'd just become a father (we were still Facebook friends and followed each other on Twitter. Why did he tell me that, and on LinkedIn?!).

One said “Oops, sorry, windypops” when he burped (which in itself isn’t brilliant).

Another, when having sex and reaching the point of no return was saying “you’re amaze, you’re amaze, you’re amaze, you’re amaZING!” when he finally did. Oh, and he jackrabbited too and never ever reciprocated a bj.

Cameron2012 That one made me spit out my tea! Outstanding.

When I was about 17 I was going out with an older guy who was about 22, he used to write me love sick poems on MSN and would get annoyed if I didn't write them back. God makes me feel sick when I think about them

GalleyHead I really don't know! I think he might have not realised it stood for anything at all, and thought it was just a sentence divider, like "stop" used to be in telegrams. He was a bit younger than me so God knows where he picked it up from.

I also declined a second date with a man who told me within five minutes of meeting that he was a magician and was great mates with Derren Brown, and then proceeded to do truly awful card tricks all the way through dinner. I could see precisely how he was doing them and I'm generally rubbish at working out how magic tricks are done. I was embarrassed for him as well as turned off.

He came to pick me up wearing a pair of those shiny blue nylon micro-shorts.