Is he into me or shall I leave it

[Ineedwine1]

Been talking to this guy for a few weeks. He's the organiser of my hobby. There's been flirting and we get on. I catch him looking at me and we smile at each other alot. We begun messaging each other last week and it's flirty. However I don't know if he's doing it because he's bored and has nothing to do or likes me. Last night I asked if he was up to much at the weekend he said no not really and I said I weren't either. He replied so you're free... That's interesting. I replied yea I am whys that interesting. Hoping he would ask me out. He's read the message and just not replied!! I'm suppose to be seeing him tomorrow at this hobby so I don't really get it. Is he interested or should I ignore him now

It was fairly obvious why he said interesting. That you made out you had no idea what he meant possibly made him think you see him only as a hobby buddy

Curious to know what he's going to say too. But I think I'll be able to tell alot from it

Totally agree with everything Summersunandoranges has said.

Been in very similar situation my self recently, all this bollox they tell you, then nothing. Actions over words every day of the week. Don’t message him, he’ll live the attention you’re giving him.

Well I've been left on read again and I'm not confident I'll be getting a reply tonight as he normally hasn't replied this late. Don't know why I bothered asking him now

Well, you wanted to feel in control and that you weren’t playing the game, except that you contacting him was exactly what he wanted you to do so you were joining in the game nicely!

I’m sure lots of people like to imagine a poor, shy guy quaking at the thought of having to make a date with you, but I don’t buy that.

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. You have to assume that he's not that interested until proven otherwise.
Yes I know we are in 2020 but if he's not making it clear, then he's not that interested. Some guys adopt a take it or leave it attitude when they're single and bored, aka will flirt/hang out with/have sex with someone, but they're not THAT bothered.

I hope he proves me wrong though. But don't entertain someone who keeps leaving you on 'read'.

Ineedwine why did you text him 😂😂🙈

He is actually fucking with your head now. He knows you like him. And he has got you dancing to his tune.

IF he texts you tomorrow dont fall for it as you will just look desperate. Say you have arranged plans now. He’s got you to ask him out and he’s not even bothered to send you a reply. He is probably with his girlfriend. A bloke that never texts at night is always a dodgy fucker.

Claw some self respect back!

Oh and he will text you back at some point - they always do. It’s good to have some one on the back burner for when then need an ego pick me up

Be ready to tell him to fuck off !

Such attention-seeking v unattractive. It could also be passive-aggressive. Unless he’s not into you at all.

Either way, move on. I’d be tempted to play him too, if he contacts you again. Wait 48 hours to reply. Or be breezy and surprised but unavailable. Perhaps a tiny bit spiteful ... but one —slightly childish— way to “claw back some self respect!!!

I’m with @Summersunandoranges OP, it’s late in the week, he knows you’re free. You have already opened the door and then asked straight. If he were just shy he would have jumped at the chance. If he is like that for a first date, I wouldn’t bother

Another one agreeing that he's toying with u. Don't waste your time

You are now far too busy too see him on Saturday!

This bloke has a partner or something.

Don't get invested in him.

This is why you don’t listen to the people on here that insist you chase a man because it’s 2020 and women can do the asking out aswell 🙄 and that he’s probably super shy yeh right it was clear he was game playing, he’s probably enjoying the attention.

Agree @PumpkinP - there is some terrible advice on here

If the OP wanted to play him at his own game then the whole ‘leave him on read’, don’t be available at short notice, etc. suggested by @Summersunandoranges would be the way to go.

Agree with PPs - now that you’ve gone ahead and been straightforward, and he hasn’t responded with appropriate enthusiasm, it’s clear he’s not that arsed and the only thing to do is be breezy and busy and write him off.

I don’t think it’s the end of the world you’ve messaged him. Better than spending the next few weeks and months wasting your time wondering. I have always been a big believer that if a man is interested he’ll ask you out on a date - simple. I know this isn’t how every great relationship starts but that’s my rule for myself.

Absolutely @PumpkinP, all that “perhaps you need to make it really clear” stuff is good advice in maybe 1% of situations, most of the time they’re just wannabe players who love lining women up in case they fancy a shag some time! On another thread I asked for long term relationships that had originated from the woman chasing and got one from 20 years ago (even though I said recently...) It never works out. If they’re into you, you know. It’s so easy!

Yeah avoid this one OP. Take it from someone who has dated many, many, many like this (idiot) - it never ends well. And it’ll be you that gets hurt.

thesheep I also have dated many many many idiots. Normally I would chase and then get really upset this time I'm angry but I can see what he's doing now. So thank you to everyone's advice. I have to see him tonight so it's going to be a bit awkward. Should I ignore him or just pretend I'm fine and stick to short polite chat

Oh dear. Reading some people’s advice makes me think they watch far too many romcoms. All these poor, shy men...

Op, he will reply. Because he wants to keep you as an option. Youre now busy and obviously need more notice for weekends.

Jesus, what is he...14?

His whole act is incredibly unattractive.

I would act exactly like nothing had happened. Like it’s so banal and dull to you that you’ve forgotten that you ever texted each other at all.

I'd offer no more than polite chit chat tonight. Don't give him any more attention than anyone else there. Definitely play it cool.

What would you tell your friend to do?

If I was you I’d probably not go tonight. I’d get a bit of space between you both. It’s not very gentlemanly what he has done and for me it would be awkward. I’d find it to hard to not say ‘why are you acting like a duck’

I’d miss this week and be back next week bright and breezy. If he messages over the weekend I’d ignore it completely. What a luck escape you had!