How can i get some control over my limerance?

[RedIsWhereItsAt]

It's all consuming, taking over my mind and body. I try to keep busy but it sneaks up. It's disturbing me and I feel powerless against it. Can I actually do anything or do I just have to be tolerant and wait?

I'm so distracted my power of spelling has abandoned me.

Limerence.

Are you married or have a partner?

Neither. It's someone I met briefly a few times and realistically won't see again, but he has really disturbed my mind somehow.

Did you see him as in a romantic sense? or just someone you know?

I would seriously consider some kind of councillors, I had this,was from a short relationship but he would show up sporadically.I on the other hand was consummed by it,even through another relationship and dc,it really affected my mental health,it's only now diminished after 11 years,finally stopped contact and every day telling myself to move on.

@Bingeslayer

11 years?
Oh my word that's just too much!
What does counselling cost? And how long would you advise? A few sessions perhaps?

@bangheadhere40 in a romantic sense and sexually .

I on the other hand was consummed by it

This is how I feel, but without the short relationship first.

Don't give it a fancy name, call it what it is, a crush and wait for it to pass.

So a combination of counselling and waiting it out?

It’s a crush
Listen to this and pull yourself together

Like Hot Priest says, “it’ll pass”

Just wrote out a massive reply but decided my experience is not the same because contact went on for so long.
But the counselling definitely helped me to be stronger mentally and able to think a lot more clearly,not sure of costs as I had it through NHS for other stuff too.
Coping techniques that helped was keeping busy enough that the mind doesn't wander so much,not going to the same places,doing the same things you used to,basically trying to cut out the things that remind you of them.

What are his faults? ( he must have some)

Imagine him doing a shit.

Work out exactly what attracted you to him, and amuse yourself spotting how often you see that in other people (even if it's only part of it not the whole package)

Remind yourself that half the stuff you think he might be and do is simply your imagination.

Tell yourself that he'll probably go to prison for perving in twenty years' time (that one would have saved me a lot of wasted daydreaming)

@RedIsWhereItsAt it's OK for others to say it's JUST a crush but when,like you say it's all consuming it's very hard to pull yourself out,I've never felt nothing like it before or since,at its worst I really believed I was losing my mind so others trying to diminish it's effect I know are well meaning but I found very frustrating.

Just take day by day focusing on hobbies, exercise,meditation,yoga,getting out with friends anything and everything to shift your focus elsewhere.

Yes yes to what @merryhouse said,seeing their faults finally takes the blinders off.

I've suffered with limerence. People who say it's just a crush haven't experienced it. I've had both and limerence is FUCKING HORRIBLE.

OP, hopefully it will dissipate in time of its own accord. Standard CBT techniques to deal with obsessive thoughts might help. Or some counselling.

Is he/she in a relationship?

My advice is to do something really mind consuming, it’s all that has stopped me thinking about someone and look up aversion

It's not a crush, crush is fun, hopeful, enjoyable even! I agree it's horrible! I don't know why some people stick in your head and you can't get them out, but it's no fun.

OP, I'm also struggling. I've setup an Instagram account and am
Playing with that. It's quite good fun and helps to take my mind off him but I feel like someone is sitting on my chest permanently. Happy to chat, DM or whatever if it helps to take your mind off him. Also candy crush...

This will pass. One day , you won’t care. Keep reminding yourself of that .

It feels like it never will though. That's the problem

OP, I have a rotating bezel on my watch. I move it every time I think about him. In December I went round the whole thing many times a day. This whole week I've reached 15...

It's taken me 3 months. I still feel like infinity is rushing through my chest. So hard.

What on earth is a limerence?

Get a small wide elastic band and put it round your wrist. Every time you think of Mr Man stretch the band out as far as you possibly can, then let it ping back and sting you.

I've watched a fair few you tube videos about it. That really helped. Also podcasts. Some about relationships some funny etc.

It's such a strange state to be in.

I also found exercise helped. Oh and my house has never been so clean!

I had it for over 20 years. Only now 26 years later can I say i no longer fb stalk him or stalk him if i know hes in town (never actually stalked him but worked out logistics ie when and how). No advice sorry, but for me i saw the light (in the end) - and there is light there you just need to find it. Areyou really going to let this one person control your life anymore ???